Chapter 57: Simulated Breastfeeding

Lately, the days feel absurdly long. It hasn’t even been a month since Toumei-senpai cursed me, but it feels like a whole year has gone by.

Guess I’ve been living my life on autopilot until now.

Since that day, my life has stopped being the kind you can fast-forward. It’s like I’m stuck in the hardest mode of a rhythm game, with one event after another crammed in. So this is what “no time to breathe” really means.

“Honestly, coming to the infirmary twice in one day?”

Her tone was exasperated, but there was an odd hint of amusement there. Even though she’s just the school nurse, she’s technically part of the medical field, right? Students coming in for reasons other than a health check can’t be a good thing.

“Collapsing just from a deep kiss with a girl? How cute.”

It’s not the deep kiss! I drowned in honey! Maybe it’s just me, but I swear I can still taste it. Damn it!

“Well, there’s not much you can do about suffocation.”

I must’ve made an insane face. I don’t know what expression a suffocating person makes, but if someone snapped a picture, I’d die of embarrassment on the spot. And just the fact that it happened during that honey-deep kiss in class is already enough to destroy me mentally.

“Alright, alright. Your excuses are cute, too.”

Why is she brushing me off like that? Am I the weird one here? No, it’s definitely you people. Actually, scratch that—this entire cursed world is the problem!

“By the way, who carried me here?”

“Hmm? That’d be Sei-san. That tiny girl brought you in with a fireman’s carry. I was shocked!”

A fireman’s carry? Isn’t that like a wrestling move? Like some variation of the Tower Bridge? Great, now I’ll probably be the subject of some weird rumors again. Not that it really matters anymore at this point.

“Still, kids these days are really something. Using honey, of all things…”

What kind of progress is this?! Don’t they realize sailing without a compass just leads to regret?

“Feels like they’re evolving in a really weird way.”

“True. Normally, it’d be butter, wouldn’t it?”

Oh, so that’s the standard? Guess my knowledge is just lacking.

No way, this is definitely not normal! It’s your twisted sense of love that’s the problem!

“Well, since I’ve been all cleaned up and smooth… Maybe I’ll give it a try, too.”

“…Give what a try?”

“Ahaha, don’t make a woman say it out loud.”

I don’t know what she’s planning, but if it’s something you can’t even say, please just don’t do it.

“So, who’s the lucky one?”

“Obviously, it’s gotta be Sakamoto-kun. Thanks to you, I’m now officially single!”

Stop making it sound like I’m the reason for your breakup! Even if I was, I’d really appreciate it if you didn’t involve your students in whatever abnormal ideas you’ve got.

“Please, I’m begging you, spare me.”

I feel like I’m on the verge of developing some kind of illness—a mental one, specifically. Honestly, it’s a miracle I’ve managed to stay sane this long. Maybe it’s the curse’s influence?

I want to run away, but if I make a wrong move, who knows what she’ll do to me. What should I even do? She’s rummaging through the infirmary’s fridge right now, so if I wanted to run, now’s the chance… but seriously, what the hell is she planning?

“Wasabi… probably too much. Hmm, maybe butter? But if even young students are using honey, I’ll need something impactful to outdo them…”

I don’t know the specifics, but it’s clear she’s planning some food-related stunt. And she’s aiming to make it stand out. Using condiments at all is already plenty weird. What do I do? Should I grab the fridge door and smash her face with it? I could probably take her out for good right now.

For now, I’ll text Shiro. Class should be ending soon, so if she notices, she’ll come to save me.

“Um, Sensei!”

I have to buy time! I carefully avoid provoking her, trying to delay things as much as possible. Right now, I’m basically a negotiator dealing with a hostage-taker. I’ve never really watched that kind of drama, but I’ll do my best. Life is all about imagination.

“Hmm? What is it?”

She paused her “terrorist preparations” and turned toward me. Good. At least she’s willing to listen. Let’s hope she also has the brain to understand and the reason to reconsider.

“Isn’t the infirmary fridge usually just stocked with ice packs?”

“Hmm, there’s milk in there too.”

Milk? Why would they keep something so perishable in there?

“Do you like milk?”

“Ahaha! It’s not for drinking.”

Then what the hell is it for? Is it really for… play? Do they keep it here just for that, curse or not?

“Is there any use for milk other than drinking? Were you planning to take a milk bath or something?”

“Ahaha, of course not. It’s for preserving teeth.”

“Preserving teeth…?”

What kind of play involves teeth? That’s a pretty gruesome thought.

“When students break a tooth during PE or club activities, putting it in milk can sometimes help reattach it, if you’re lucky.”

“Wow, I didn’t know milk could do that!”

Huh. That’s actually useful information. I was so sure it was for some abnormal play…

“Well, I drink it when it’s about to expire, though.”

“Haha, yeah, waste not, right?”

“Oh my, this one’s close to expiring.”

…What is this ominous feeling?

“A milk bath… hmm…”

……What?

Why do I feel like the worst possible thought process is happening right now?

Why is she starting to undress?

“Hey now, don’t stare so much.”

Of course I’m staring! If you’re holding milk in one hand and stripping, anyone would look!

Before I knew it, she was down to just her underwear… What the hell is she doing?

“Should I take it off?”

“…Take what off?”

“The hook, obviously.”

With zero hesitation, she removed her underwear. Her full, ample chest, which had been pressed up against her innerwear, was now completely exposed. I’d already braced myself for this, but even so, my heart skipped a beat. God, guys are idiots.

Though, to be honest, fear is definitely stronger than excitement right now.

“Should I unhook it from the back, or take it off from the front?”

“…Is this some kind of new psychological test?”

“You could interpret it that way. Some people don’t like it when you suddenly unhook it from the front, so be mindful.”

Forget the etiquette. Just tell me what you’re planning! I’m a student, you know? I’ve already been forced to shave my armpits and down there, but even so, I’m not about to just roll with whatever this is!

“Why do you even need to take it off? What are you planning to do with the milk?”

“Well, I can’t produce breast milk, but I can simulate it, right?”

Shiro! Please get here already! I’ll pet you as much as you want! I’ll hold you, snuggle you, whatever you want—just save me!