Chapter 58: Intelligence Enhancement Event

Why did I even start with the shaving play? If it weren’t for that, I could’ve just enjoyed myself.

It didn’t feel great, and my evaluation dropped—what could be worse? Well, it wasn’t like it didn’t feel good at all, but every time, the thought of shaving kept creeping in. Even while the school nurse was sucking on my chest, all I could think was, “It’s soft and feels good, but I shaved this person’s armpits, didn’t I?” And because of that, I couldn’t fully enjoy the experience.

“You men are seriously the worst!”

What’s with all those “ッ” sounds? She sounds like a woodpecker. The longer her pause, the more it hurts me, so just stop already.

“Come on, Shiro, that was because of the curse!”

“That excuse only works for the nurse’s weird behavior. Stretching out your upper lip and… other parts has nothing to do with the curse, you Bottom-Half Pinocchio!”

What can I say? I’m a high school guy. It’s not like I can control this stuff.

“I appreciate you helping me out, but blaming me isn’t fair, is it? I’m a victim too.”

“You’re seriously snapping at me after I carried you to the infirmary and dashed in to save you? Who do you think you are?”

Ah, crap. This is turning into a fight. I don’t think I’m wrong, but I should probably apologize. If I let this escalate, nothing good will come of it.

“My bad, I should’ve thanked you first. Really, thanks for helping me out.”

Honestly, I wish she’d come a little sooner, but I get it—she was in class. I should just be glad I got away with nothing worse than having my chest sucked. Seriously, if Shiro hadn’t shown up when she did, who knows what might’ve happened.

“Hmph, words are cheap.”

That stings, especially for someone like me, who relies on quick fixes all the time.

I’ve got some thoughts about her attitude, but for now, I’ll just keep apologizing.

“It was just a biological reaction; I couldn’t help it. Honestly, I think you’re way more attractive than the nurse.”

Because she’s not cursed. Anyone affected by Kurokawa-senpai’s curse is as good as dead to me as a woman. Oh, but Shiro isn’t cursed, and yet she still did… that in the public restroom.

“…You’re just saying that because you like big boobs.”

She’s sulking, but I think deep down she’s happy. She’s smirking a bit, fiddling with her hair, and even fidgeting.

Even someone like me, the poster boy for being unpopular, can tell. This is basically her saying, “More! Compliment me more!”

But going all out with flattery would be an amateur move. When dealing with someone like Shiro—who’s got a hint of yandere—you’ve got to be subtle. Ideally, keep it vague.

“You know about natural selection and sexual selection, right?”

“What’s Darwin got to do with this? Just because I’m a genius doesn’t mean you can drop academic topics on me out of nowhere!”

Whether it’s academic or not, at least she knows what I’m talking about. That makes things easier.

“If big boobs were everything, wouldn’t the world be full of them? I mean, breast size is mostly determined by genetics, isn’t it?”

“…”

Wait, why’s she glaring at me like that? I thought I was doing my best to defend small breasts here.

I mean, people naturally want to blame things on inborn traits, right?

“So, you’re saying preferences differ from person to person? For all your talk about natural selection and whatnot, your conclusion is so… basic.”

You don’t have to say it so harshly. What’s so bad about being basic, anyway?

“Even if preferences differ from person to person, it doesn’t change the fact that you’re just a shallow guy who loves big boobs. Remember, clumsy self-defense will only ruin you.”

I’m not particularly into big boobs, but as for clumsy self-defense… I’ve got no argument there. When someone mixes absurd logic with the occasional valid point, it really makes it hard to respond.

But calling me shallow is uncalled for. Just because she’s on the smaller side doesn’t mean she should spread nasty rumors. Just be honest and love yourself as you are. Stay strong, Shiro.

“I wouldn’t say I’m into big boobs, but even if I were, I’d still choose you.”

“…Why? Bigger is better, you know.”

That only applies to things where having more isn’t a problem.

“I mean, the shape and color are really nice…”

“But you were staring at Kumanokyo and the school nurse the whole time.”

Come on, anyone would look. Even if you’re not interested in someone, if a seven-foot-tall person walks into a train, you’d glance at them, right? Even if you like kittens, if there’s an elephant nearby, you’d look at the elephant. That’s just how living beings work.

“Listen, the fact that you’re unaffected by the curse already makes you number one. I’d given up on ever having a normal female friend.”

Granted, I hadn’t had one before the curse either, but let’s not dwell on that.

How can I convince her? How do I make her believe me?

“You’ve deep-kissed Kumanokyo with honey, done a milk-feeding play with the school nurse… and after all that, you still got excited down there. At this point, nothing you say can save you.”

Hearing it all laid out like that is brutal, but I’ve come to realize something.

This girl… this girl… this girl…

“Anyway, I’ve got some candy on me right now.”

She’s plotting another food play!

Now that I think about it, Shiro has this habit of wanting to do the same things as everyone else. Like the public restroom nightmare or the shaving play—she acted all shocked but still joined in by the end.

“So… what do you want me to do?”

“You’ll do it?”

“Well, I trust that you have a bit more self-restraint than those other two.”

That’s not really a compliment, but I’m not lying. Compared to them, I believe she’ll suggest something a little more sane.

“You know this? It’s called Konekonekoneru. It’s a candy.”

“Oh, yeah, I remember that. I used to eat it as a kid. Brings back memories.”

If I recall, it’s one of those educational candies where mixing it changes its color and flavor, right? So, she wants to do a kiss with this instead of honey? Well, it’s probably better than honey… I think. If we keep it short and somewhere private, maybe it’s fine.

“Okay, I’ll open my mouth now.”

“Huh? Oh, okay.”

“You put the candy into my mouth.”

“Uh, right, got it.”

So, she wants me to feed her directly. That’s kinda cute. This is something even normal couples might do.

Now, how do you make this thing again? It’s been so long, I barely remember.

“Do I just put everything in this tray and mix it?”

“What? Were you even listening to me?”

Yes, I was? I’ve been keeping my ears open for every word, just in case. I can’t tell where the mines are, so I don’t let anything slip past me.

“I’m telling you to make the Konekonekoneru in my mouth.”

“Huh?”

“Come on, hurry up!”

Shiro opens her mouth wide like a baby bird waiting for food. Wait, she wants to do it here? In this hallway? In broad daylight where anyone could walk by? She’s asking me to knead the candy in her mouth as part of some perverted act, then kiss her right after? I’ll actually die. There’s no way I’ll ever be able to show my face at school again.

“What’s taking you so long? Or… would you prefer my other mouth? Y-You perverted minister of indecency! Fine, if you insist, I’ll do it! Here, feast your eyes!”

“Upper! Upper mouth is fine! I want to educate myself in your mouth! I want to climb the adult ladder in your mouth!”

“Geez… you’re way too eager. You’ve gone past bold and into bizarre territory.”

Sorry to ruin your moment of maidenly shyness, but you’re the last person who should be saying that when you’re standing here with your panties half off. Just stop wiggling around and pull them up already. It’s making this whole scene even weirder.

“Hurry up. Quickly, use your (powder) to make my mouth all gooey! Stir it up with your (mixing stick) inside my mouth!”

“To Tokyo University we go!”

Realizing that the more time I waste, the worse the misunderstanding gets, I give up on convincing her and shove the Konekonekoneru into her mouth.

The mix of sensuality and crudeness almost breaks my brain, but I manage to hold myself together by thinking, “She looks like a crab foaming at the mouth—this is hilarious.”

It’s been a while since I had Konekonekoneru, and it tastes better than I remembered. Although, this time, it was the “Shiro Mashiro Special Edition,” which is definitely a unique experience.

As it turns out, educational candies do teach you something. For example, kneading candy in a girl’s mouth and then deep-kissing her will get you universally ostracized.