My Popular-as-Hell Best Friend Is Annoying, So I Want to Get Him a Girlfriend and Shut Him Up

Chapter 44: Payback

T/N: 9 chapters vroom, merry christmas guys!

“Haa…”

This time, I let out a big sigh without hiding it.

Then, I lightly chop Natori Mayoi on the head as she continues to sob.

“Jeez, if you’re gonna cry this much, don’t do it in the first place. Making me pull such a nasty stunt.”

Natori Mayoi holds her head, turning her red, teary eyes toward me.

“…You’re not gonna do anything?”

“Of course not. If I got arrested, my dad would be heartbroken. If you’d just apologized and reflected honestly, I wouldn’t have had to threaten you like that.”

“…”

“I’m warning you—if your words just now were a lie, I won’t hold back next time. When I say I’ll do something, I do it. Got that?”

When I threaten her in a low tone, Natori Mayoi nods vigorously, almost like an obedient dog. It’s unlike her, but I’m aware I scared her pretty badly for a girl. She might stay rattled for a while.

“Also, go apologize to Rando-dono properly. If this incident hit you hard, you should understand how scared she was.”

“…Okay.”

“Good. Settle this pointless feud quickly and cleanse yourself. Rando-dono isn’t the type to hold grudges. If you show sincerity, she’ll forgive you.”

As Natori Mayoi gives a small nod, I let out a relieved breath.

This clears the obstacle keeping Rando-dono scared. She can go back to approaching Uryu like before. For me, cutting 12 hours of sleep over three days was worth it. Tonight, I’m definitely crashing hard.

※

But before that, there’s one thing I want to suggest to Natori Mayoi.

“If you’re that hung up on Uryu, why not try approaching him again?”

Natori Mayoi, who’d been looking down, lifts her head. She stares at me, dumbfounded.

I’d planned to urge her to pursue Uryu again only if she showed genuine remorse. She came to this place just because Uryu asked, so her feelings for him clearly haven’t faded. Instead of doing petty things like interfering with others, it’s a hundred times healthier to face him head-on again.

“…What are you talking about? He already rejected me once.”

“That’s no reason to give up. Isn’t the important thing how you feel about Uryu?”

“How I… feel…”

“Right. Didn’t you want to do that sooner? But you hated yourself for not having the courage, so you took it out on Rando-dono, who was earnestly trying.”

“…I…”

“Hard to process on the spot, huh? Just think it over positively. If you say you’ll try, I might even lend a hand.”

“What?! Wait a sec!”

As I start packing up the voice recorders and laptop, Natori Mayoi calls out.

“What?”

“Lend a hand? Aren’t you supporting that underclassman? That’s why you were so mad today.”

“Obviously. I was furious at you for breaking Rando-dono’s spirit when she’s always working so hard.”

“Then how could you help me? Even if I got serious.”

“Why not? If you sincerely apologize, I’m all for it.”

“No, that makes no sense. Don’t you feel bad for that underclassman?”

“Nope. My top priority is Uryu getting a girlfriend. I support Rando-dono because she’s closest to that, but you’re fine too. From my perspective, more rivals just heat things up, which is perfect.”

Sorry to Rando-dono, but my goal’s been the same from the start. I’ll help anyone’s love life equally for my purpose. …Well, not exactly equally—I still don’t know how to handle Tsukikage Miharu.

Point is, I won’t budge on this. If my help’s not wanted, they can ditch me. As long as Uryu gets a girlfriend, I’ve got no complaints.

“W-Well, then…”

“But I won’t do it for free. You’ve told me to ‘drop dead’ every time we meet, so I’m holding that grudge.”

“…Huh?”

Natori Mayoi tilts her head, genuinely confused.

Hey, she’s not forgetting how she kept trying to kill me off, is she?

“Unlike Rando-dono, I’m petty. If you want my help, you’ll have to say, ‘Please help me, Yukiya-sama.’ Then I’ll let bygones be bygones, heh heh.”

Natori Mayoi shoots me an openly annoyed look, but I ignore it and start packing.

I’ve said everything I needed to. The rest is up to her.

She’s flashy but undeniably pretty. If she gets motivated, it’d be a win for me too.

Being rejected by Uryu isn’t a flaw—hardly anyone confesses without getting rejected at some point. It’s better to see it as a chance to get noticed. Though, since she was in Uryu’s class last year, he already knows her face.

“Crap!”

While organizing the voice recorders on the desk, I notice one with a red light blinking—it’s recording.

I must’ve accidentally turned it on while explaining to Natori Mayoi. If today’s conversation is recorded, that’s really bad. Even if I didn’t mean it, I said stuff about leaking personal info and assaulting her. I need to delete it ASAP.

I reach for the blinking recorder—

※

“…What’s your game?”

—only for Natori Mayoi to snatch it first. I try to sound calm, but I’m sweating buckets.

“This is recording, right? So all our conversation is in here?”

This is bad, bad, bad, bad.

The weakened Natori Mayoi is gone. She’s looking at me with amusement, same as always—if not a bit more menacing.

“This is trouble, huh? If I took this to the police, you’d get arrested, right? Even if not, you’d be questioned, your parents would find out, and your life wouldn’t stay normal.”

“…Hey, that’s not funny.”

“But it’s fine if I do it, right? Because—”

Natori Mayoi grins, genuinely delighted.

“You’re ready to face the consequences, aren’t you?”

“Grr, gah…!”

She throws my own words back at me.

She’s right—I said that. I used it to corner her, and now I’m the one in a bind. A perfect comeback.

“Chill, don’t panic. If you do me a favor, I’ll give it back.”

“R-Really?”

“Yup. First, can I borrow one of your voice recorders?”

“This one okay?”

I hand her a pen-shaped recorder, and she switches it to recording mode without hesitation.

“Now, repeat what I say, and I’ll return the other one. Then we’re even.”

That’s it? I listen to the phrase she says.

“‘Let this lowly livestock, me, assist Mayoi-sama with her love life.’ Go ahead.”

“…”

“What? Hurry up and repeat it.”

“No, this is too much…”

“Oh? Then I’ll do whatever I want with this.”

“Fine!! I’ll say it, okay?!”

This is the worst. What a day. It’s bad enough saying it once, but having it recorded? Isn’t she way more ruthless than me?

“You better be ready for my comeback…”

“Of course. I wouldn’t do this otherwise.”

Natori Mayoi flashes a maddeningly innocent, cute smile.

※

And so, the issue surrounding Rando Sora and Natori Mayoi ended in the worst possible way (for me).

Haa, I shouldn’t have said anything extra…

“Hey.”

“What?”

“If you’re taking my recorder, pay for it. It’s pretty expensive.”

“Oh? I’ll give you up to 5,000 yen.”

“Whoa, really?”

“Wait, how much was it?”

“…About 8,000 yen.”

“Liar. Tell the truth, or I’m leaking this.”

“3,980 yen! Got a problem with that?!”

“Nope. I’ll bring 5,000 yen next time.”

“Seriously? That’s cool.”

“Considering the recording’s value, I’m throwing in extra.”

“For real? You’re kinda decent.”

“…You haven’t forgotten why we were fighting, have you…?”

Chapter 45: Polite Speech

The week after settling things with Natori Mayoi, the calendar flipped to June.

The transition period for the summer uniform was over, and everyone was showing up in their summer clothes. The girls’ figures, less hidden by blazers, were now more noticeable—a glorious season for me. My heart was practically dancing.

“Yo, Nose-Stretch McGee.”

“If it isn’t Motegi Kenshin.”

I exchange a quick greeting with Uryu as he arrives. For the record, my nose isn’t stretching—I’m the type who doesn’t show it on his face.

“You’ve been getting here early lately. What’s up?”

“Idiot. Now that the uniform transition’s done, how could I not rush to admire the girls’ liberated figures?”

“Most people switched last week, though.”

“You’ve got no sense of romance. Go read The Pillow Book and learn something.”

“And you need to study. That book’s just ‘I’m so cute for saying “okashi”’ vibes.”

“You’re butchering it way too much…”

Muttering that he owes Sei Shonagon an apology, I pause my chat with Uryu.

T/N: Japanese banter, ignore it.

※

I haven’t told Uryu about the Natori Mayoi thing, obviously. He asked since I dragged him into helping, but when I said it involved him, he backed off easily. He probably thinks I’m helping Natori Mayoi with her love life. I don’t care if he finds out what I did, but I can’t tell him Natori Mayoi was messing with Rando-dono. If he’s misunderstanding on his own, that’s for the best.

By the way, Natori Mayoi hasn’t given me any orders yet. It’s only been a day or so since that incident, excluding the weekend, so she probably needs time to figure out what she wants.

I’m willing to go along unless it’s something outrageous. She recorded that ridiculous “love cupid” line, but I can brush it off if it comes to that. I got the problematic recording back, so we’ll manage as a mutual threat-and-threatened duo moving forward.

“Good morning, senpai-tachi!”

A cheerful greeting suddenly rings out beside me.

I turn to see Rando-dono, dressed in her summer uniform, standing there with a bright smile. When did she even get into the classroom?

“Morning, Rando-san.”

“It was already hot this morning, huh?”

“You seem full of energy despite that, Rando-san.”

“Energy’s my only redeeming trait!”

Rando-dono puffs out her chest proudly. Looks like the water incident’s effects are gone. That’s a relief.

“I’d love to keep chatting with Aoyagi-senpai, but…”

Rando-dono prefaces, then shifts her gaze to me.

“Before that, Hirose-senpai, can we talk for a sec?”

“Me?”

“Yes. It’s a bit hard to talk here.”

“Got it. Let’s step into the hall.”

Guessing it’s about Natori Mayoi, I head out to the corridor with Rando-dono.

Ai-chan is waiting there. Looks like she’s joining this conversation too.

“Um, about the other day… I’m really sorry for showing you such an embarrassing side…”

Rando-dono fidgets shyly, giving me a slight bow.

“Even though I was down, I cried so much in front of you, senpai. I’m really reflecting on it.”

“That’s fine. It was a big deal. Ai-chan doesn’t mind either, right?”

“Of course not! Supporting Sora-chan is my job as her best friend!”

Ai-chan’s dead-serious declaration makes Rando-dono blush again. Hmm, there’s an indescribable preciousness to girls’ friendships. In one word: I could watch it forever.

“That aside, I’m happy to hear that, but there’s one more thing I want to say.”

Clearing her throat with a cough, Rando-dono gives me a gentle smile.

“Thank you so much for handling Natori-senpai’s issue.”

Her bow this time is deeper, with a graceful movement that clearly conveys her gratitude.

“Last Friday, when I was with Ai-chan, Natori-senpai approached me and apologized for everything. It was so sudden, I was shocked, but I immediately remembered what you said in the tea ceremony room, senpai. You took care of things with Natori-senpai, didn’t you?”

“No, I didn’t exactly handle it gently.”

What I did wasn’t praiseworthy. It was dirty enough to freak these two out if I told them. It worked out because Natori Mayoi turned around, but it could’ve gone south. I’d never say “the ends justify the means” out loud.

But Rando-dono shakes her head, as if reading my thoughts.

“Even so, I was happy. When I felt helpless, you gave me such strong words and actually fixed things. I can’t thank you enough, senpai.”

Even if my methods weren’t commendable, I did save someone. If it brought out such a wonderful smile, maybe I shouldn’t be too pessimistic. Of course, I’ll need to rethink my approach going forward.

“It’s fine. I just wanted you to keep pushing forward as usual, Rando-dono.”

“…Senpai, I think that’s a problem.”

I thought my response was top-notch, but Rando-dono puffs out her cheeks, looking exasperated.

That’s weird. Did I say something to upset her?

“You’re trying too hard as the helper, senpai.”

“Trying too hard?”

Wait, I feel like someone’s said this to me before.

“I’m grateful you’re helping with my love life, but if you keep showing such kind words and attitudes, people might change their minds.”

“Change their minds?”

“Like, instead of Aoyagi-senpai, they might fall for you, Hirose-senpai.”

“Haha, no way that’d happen.”

I laugh off Rando-dono’s comment.

I hate to admit it, but Uryu’s a god-blessed perfect human. The idea of someone choosing me over him is absurd, even if the world turned upside down.

“Well, my feelings for Aoyagi-senpai are strong, so I’m safe for now, but be careful, okay?”

“There’s nothing to be careful about, but thanks for the heads-up.”

“…And one more request.”

“A request?”

Rando-dono takes a deep breath, looking hesitant, then meets my eyes.

“I’d like you to stop using polite speech.”

Her words surprise not just me but Ai-chan too. Rando-dono once said she didn’t mind my polite speech, noting that some people always talk that way. What’s with the sudden change?

“Well, back in the tea ceremony room, when you got mad at me, your tone was normal, right? I think that felt more natural, or maybe better.”

“Was it?”

“I remember too. A different tone really sticks out,” Ai-chan adds.

My memory’s fuzzy, but apparently Rando-dono prefers my casual tone. Talking informally to someone as admirable as her feels awkward, but if that’s what she wants, I guess I’ll comply.

“Got it. This okay?”

“Yes! That’s perfect!”

With just that change, Rando-dono beams like the sun. If it makes her this happy, switching tones was worth it.

“Well then, senpai, with the uniform change fully done, let’s start fresh!”

With an odd preamble, Rando-dono extends her right hand, apparently wanting a handshake.

“Oh, no crushing grips, okay? That’s traumatic!”

“I won’t, I swear. Come on, shake.”

“R-Right.”

I grab Rando-dono’s reluctantly offered hand for a handshake.

The Natori Mayoi mess stalled things, but this is a reset—a new start.

“…Senpai, it’s fine to help others, but make sure to favor me, okay?”

“Sorry, didn’t catch that. What?”

“It’s fine, just talking to myself.”

The season shifts to summer, heralding the humid arrival of the rainy season.

T/N: SHE FINALLY SAID IT, HE’S TRYING TOO HARD, BUT HE DOESN’T BELIEVE IT OMGADJAIOWDNBUAODBNA

Chapter 46: Maidens’ Chat 2

The last day of May. Most of the class had already started switching to summer uniforms.

Rando Sora, together with her best friend Ai-chan, left the classroom. They’d finished homeroom and were heading to their club activities. Sora was bound for the gym, while Ai-chan was going to the tea ceremony room, so they’d part ways at the stairs. Still, they walked together like this.

As usual, when they reached the staircase, they ran into someone Sora didn’t want to face.

Natori Mayoi. A second-year with distinctive long blonde hair.

Her striking appearance was intimidating enough, but more than that, Sora had been on the receiving end of Mayoi’s harassment-like antics.

Until recently, it was just snide remarks, but last week, someone dumped water on Sora from above while she was in a toilet stall. She didn’t know if Mayoi was the culprit, but there was no one else she could think of who’d do it.

It had made her more timid, and facing the source of that fear was, frankly, something she resisted.

※

“…Can we talk?”

Hoping it wasn’t about her and trying to pass by, Sora froze when Mayoi called out.

“…What is it?”

As Sora struggled to respond, Ai-chan stepped between them, her face clearly showing anger. Sora silently thanked her friend’s protectiveness.

“…Um, well…”

But Sora quickly noticed something off about Mayoi. Her usual domineering attitude was gone, replaced by a fidgety demeanor, cautiously gauging their reactions.

※

And then—

“I’m sorry!!”

Tightening her expression with resolve, Mayoi bowed deeply and said it.

The sudden action left Sora and Ai-chan, who turned to look, staring at each other with mouths agape.

“For being nasty and for dumping water on you. I acted like a kid and scared you, and I’m really sorry. I’ve reflected a lot, and I apologize.”

It felt unreal. Mayoi, whom Sora thought she’d never get along with, was regretting her actions and apologizing. She couldn’t have imagined this day coming.

Then, she recalled words someone said to her in the tea ceremony room.

“Give me one week, and I’ll fix everything. So, Rando-dono, don’t worry and keep going as usual. It’s tough, but nothing more will happen. I promise.”

Those strong, encouraging words. At the time, she didn’t think much of them, but seeing this scene, she was certain.

This reality was created by Hirose-senpai.

She felt like crying. He really resolved that awful situation. When she was crushed and thought nothing could be done, he extended a hand to save her. Nothing could make her happier.

Wiping her eyes, Sora looked at Mayoi, still bowing.

This person did something terrible to her. For some, it could be a lifelong trauma. She couldn’t help but wonder if forgiving her so easily was okay.

But now, Mayoi was humbling herself, bowing to a junior in front of others, showing remorse. For Sora, that fact alone was enough.

“Please raise your head, senpai.”

When Sora spoke gently, Mayoi looked up with a slightly stunned expression, her eyes glistening with tears.

“What you did to me, I probably won’t forget. It was that shocking.”

“Yeah… I get it…”

“But I’m not going to drag it out for show.”

“Huh…?”

“Because you apologized like this, didn’t you?”

“!”

When Sora smiled, Mayoi’s face crumpled, overwhelmed, as if desperately holding back tears.

“I can tell you’re reflecting. So this matter’s over. You don’t need to worry about it anymore, senpai.”

“…Yeah… Thank you.”

Mayoi pressed her right hand to her eyes, quietly thanking Sora. She was deeply relieved that their bad blood was gone.

Sora, too, exchanged smiles with Ai-chan. From now on, she could live her school life without clashing with this senpai. That fact undeniably eased her mind.

“Well, then, I’ll go.”

A brief silence made things awkward, and Sora, considerate of Mayoi’s teary appearance, spoke up. She didn’t want people seeing her cry—she remembered how that felt in the tea ceremony room.

“Wait, hold on.”

But Mayoi wiped her eyes and stopped Sora.

“Separate from this, there’s one thing I want to say.”

She took a deep breath. Curious, Sora watched as Mayoi suddenly slapped both her cheeks hard.

Then, pointing her right index finger at Sora—

“I’m not losing to you when it comes to Aoyagi! This is separate from what we just talked about! I’m absolutely not losing!”

Her cheeks bright red, Mayoi declared this and fled down the stairs.

Left behind, Sora took a moment to realize she’d been challenged.

Her heart raced. Another rival should’ve been a hassle, but her face was full of smiles.

“I’m not losing either!!”

Sora leaned over the stair railing, shouting her declaration downward. Other students stared, wondering what was up, but she didn’t care. She hated sneaky interference, but a fair fight like this? Bring it on.

“Sora-chan, things just got intense, huh?”

“Not really. Compared to before, it’s nothing.”

“Maybe, but still.”

Despite Ai-chan’s concern, Sora had one question.

Why did Mayoi suddenly challenge her now?

She knew Mayoi liked Uryu but thought her inability to approach him led to her bad behavior. So why decide to act now?

After a moment’s thought, the answer came quickly.

This whole incident involved one other key person. Someone who casually says kind things without realizing how kind they are.

“Haa, wasn’t he supposed to be cheering for me…?”

“What’s wrong, Sora-chan?”

“Nothing, just thinking things are gonna get tougher.”

Sighing as she said it, Sora didn’t feel too bad.

Thanks to the core issue being resolved, she was in high spirits.

It was after school, and skipping club to say thanks now would be too much. Half-hearted gestures probably weren’t what he’d want. She needed to focus on club activities.

※

So Sora quietly resolved to express her gratitude first thing Monday morning.