My Popular-as-Hell Best Friend Is Annoying, So I Want to Get Him a Girlfriend and Shut Him Up - Chapter 219 & 220 & 221

Chapter 219: Summer Break, Rivals 1

It was the day after I experienced the Tea Ceremony Club camp.

※

“You really admire your dad, huh? I get it now.”

“Thanks for yesterday. I should probably contact Hirose-kun’s dad properly, right?”

“I was so happy you joined the camp, Senpai! Let’s hang out with Sora-chan next time!”

While replying to the Line messages from the Tea Ceremony Club members, two ominous messages arrived almost simultaneously.

※

“Got time tomorrow?”

“Sorry to bother you when you’re busy, but could you spare some time tomorrow?”

An invitation from friends sounds nice in theory, but this isn’t that kind of vibe.

The fact that they’re throwing preemptive punches without mentioning any details already tells me enough.

The curt, schedule-ignoring message came from Natori Mayoi.

The polite request was from my junior, Rando-dono.

Despite their different grades and personalities, they share one critical thing in common.

My gut tells me this is about that common thread.

Honestly, Mayoi contacting me about anything else is unthinkable.

So, before replying to them, I decided to call the key witness.

※

“Hello? Something up?”

Aoyagi Uryu, the guy who makes three girls cry during a single meal.

As always, he picks up in less than a second—starting to feel like pure terror.

“Just a little interrogation.”

“Interrogation?”

“Got any recent memories of going out with girls?”

“Yeah, I went out yesterday and the day before.”

Bingo.

The timing of their messages suggests both went out with Uryu.

Their boldness is admirable, but the fact that they’re contacting me means I can guess the outcome.

“By the way, did you actually have fun?”

“Hell yeah, it was fun as usual.”

“Wait, seriously?”

“Why would I lie? If it sucked, I’d say it sucked.”

“You’re the type to sugarcoat things, especially with girls.”

“I don’t sugarcoat shit with you.”

What’s with this guy?

Is he trying to take a jab at me?

If this weren’t over the phone, my cross uppercut would’ve already landed.

Still, hmm.

If I take Uryu’s words at face value, it doesn’t sound like the dates were a flop.

Could they be bringing good news?

※

…No, wait.

Maybe the fact that it was “just fun” is the problem.

If their efforts had paid off, Uryu should be showing some embarrassment or shyness, right?

“Uryu, uh, you know… are you embarrassed?”

“Huh? What’re you on about? Speak clearly.”

“No way, you’re 16 and don’t know what ‘embarrassed’ means?”

“I’m saying I don’t get what you’re asking!”

“Then say that from the start! Didn’t they teach you to use subjects when you talk?”

“Then you use modifiers! Who the hell asks, ‘Are you embarrassed?’”

“It’s in my dictionary!”

“Update it so normal people can understand!”

“You’re not a normal person!”

This bastard, always got a comeback.

I’m a regular guy, so it’s on you, superhuman, to read between the lines.

“…Fine, so you weren’t embarrassed, got it?”

“Yeah, probably.”

“Probably!? It’s about you!”

“I don’t know what you’re getting at! Where’d your own advice from ten seconds ago go?”

“Ugh, how many seconds are we wasting on this!?”

“If you’d reflect a bit, we’d be done already…”

Uryu’s voice dropped.

Looks like he’s admitting fault—feels pretty damn good.

“Heh heh heh, let this be a lesson to listen to me properly.”

“Even if I did, it’s obviously a pointless question.”

“Sore loser, huh? Pathetic, Uryu.”

“Speaking of, Yukiya, I measured my height recently. Grew a centimeter.”

“Don’t screw with me!! While I’m struggling for a single millimeter, you’re sprouting like a damn weed!?”

“Haha, pathetic, Yukiya.”

Damn it, what a brutal comeback.

Did this guy bring up height just to avoid admitting defeat?

“Curse you, Prince of the Stars! Just wait, Dad’s genes will awaken, and my height’ll shoot up too!”

“Wait, hold on, why’d you even call—”

I hung up without hearing Uryu’s response.

Goddamn, trying to one-up Uryu is a bad move.

He counters with devastating precision.

Now, what to do next?

I didn’t get a clear answer from Uryu, but his reaction suggests it was just a “fun outing” and nothing more.

Otherwise, I doubt both would be contacting me.

If this is about strategizing to break down Uryu’s walls, there’s no reason to refuse.

But both want to meet tomorrow, and their schedules clash perfectly.

Eh, whatever.

It’ll be more productive for them to hear each other’s failure stories.

I don’t want to waste separate time slots on this either, so let’s bundle the hassle into one.

※

“It’s about Uryu, right? Tomorrow works. Let me know where.”

I sent the exact same reply to both.

For them, meeting face-to-face should be more stimulating.

I hope they keep challenging despite their failures.

※

…I’m assuming they failed, but if it’s good news, my bad.

Chapter 220: Summer Break, Rival 2

Having finished contacting them, I found myself the next day in Shinjuku, a place overflowing with people.

※

“…So many people.”

You might think I’m crazy for saying that as a Tokyo resident, but even in Tokyo, the crowd thins out a bit once you leave the city center.

It’s the last place I’d want to visit in the peak of summer, but considering the three of us moving around, this was the best spot.

Ah, my kind heart.

I ordered first at the coffee shop they specified, securing a four-person table.

Since they chose this place the moment we settled on Shinjuku for the meetup, it must be popular with girls.

The menu was ridiculously long—some kind of spellbook, maybe?

The shop’s vibe is mature, with sophisticated decor, but I can hear crude laughter.

I knew it was popular with girls, but acting so selfishly in a public space is a bit much.

※

…Huh? A boomerang?

No way, accusing a wholesome boy like me is just unfair.

“Hey, you’re early.”

As I fought off the strange warning in my head, one of the people I was waiting for showed up.

Wearing a sleeveless tank top and a miniskirt, her hair color and figure drew plenty of stares.

“Yo, as erotic as ever today, huh?”

“Obviously. If you take away my sexiness, what’s left?”

“Fair point.”

“Idiot, that’s where you’re supposed to deny it!”

Throwing irrational words at me right off the bat is Natori Mayoi, the second maiden in love with Uryu.

“You’re pretty early yourself. It’s still twenty minutes before we’re supposed to meet.”

“I figured I’d grab a seat before you got here. Didn’t expect you to beat me.”

Saying that, Mayoi suddenly smirked.

“What, were you that excited to meet me?”

I see, showing up early leads to this kind of banter.

She looks thrilled thinking she can tease me, but sorry, that’s not the case.

“Nah, I thought I’d get lost at the station. Played it safe and ended up here earlier than expected.”

“Alright, we’re done.”

Waving her hand dismissively, Mayoi headed toward the exit.

She invited me and now she’s leaving? But no, she’s just lining up at the counter.

Talk about misleading.

Still, talking to her now, she doesn’t seem down at all.

Could it be a fake-out, with good news instead of bad?

If so, I’d treat her to as many drinks as she wants—within 500 yen, of course.

“Sorry for the wait.”

About five minutes later, Mayoi returned with a plastic cup piled with all sorts of toppings.

“What the hell is that?”

“Huh? You don’t know what a frappe is?”

“A frappe?”

First time hearing the term.

Something that looks so bizarrely complex, summed up in four katakana letters?

“…Wanna try it?”

Maybe because I was staring too eagerly, Mayoi suggested it in an unusually gentle tone.

“…It’s not free, is it?”

“I won’t charge you for a sip. Here.”

With that, she held the cup and pointed the straw toward me.

“No, I’ll hold the cup.”

“I’ll charge you if we don’t do it this way.”

Why?

What’s the point of her holding the cup?

But letting shame stop me from reaching for what’s in front of me is the height of stupidity.

Who cares about onlookers? I’m Hirose Yukiya.

I put my lips on the straw and sucked hard to experience the unknown.

“Fwoah!?”

The sweet taste of peach filled my mouth.

The texture of fruit and ice melted pleasantly together.

What is this, the ultimate summer companion?

“Heh, looks like you’re already hooked on frappes.”

Peeling the straw away from me, Mayoi gave me a wicked grin.

“Wait, I haven’t savored it enough!”

“Nope, I said one sip.”

I’ve been had.

Having such a delicious drink snatched away after one sip is unbearable.

The iced coffee I ordered earlier to cope… doesn’t stand a chance!

“Please, boss lady… without it, I-I can’t—”

“Wow, acting like some drugged-up character? Ten points.”

Harsh.

I was half-joking about wanting a second sip, but she wasn’t impressed.

Ten points, though? How much more effort would’ve dodged a failing grade?

“Well then, maybe I’ll give you a chance for another sip.”

Still reeling from her brutal scoring, she suddenly dangled a lifeline.

No way, can I really taste it again?

Of course, I know it won’t be that easy.

Mayoi wouldn’t offer such a sweet deal without expecting something in return.

“Please, anything but money…!”

“How broke are you…?”

Her smirk turned to exasperation, but what can I do?

I didn’t expect coffee to be this expensive.

With return fare to consider, my usable cash is limited.

“Well, I won’t ask for money.”

“Leave it to me. There’s nothing I can’t handle right now.”

“That’s a quick turnaround.”

“Call it a mindset shift.”

Heh, if it’s not about money, I’ve got nothing to fear.

I’ll handle Mayoi’s demand with ease.

This second sip is as good as mine.

So, what do you want, Mayoi?

“Alright then, how about you spin three times and bark?”

“One! Two! Three! Woof!!”

“Instantly!?”

I complied at lightning speed, but for some reason, Mayoi, who gave the order, looked taken aback.

Weird, I did what she asked, so she should be pleased.

“What, no pride?”

“That stuff’s just a negative in life. If I can gain something easily by throwing it away, I’d do so in a heartbeat.”

“Fair, that’s the kind of guy you are.”

Mayoi propped her cheek on her hand and let out a big sigh.

For the record, I don’t see spinning three times and barking as a positive.

It’s humiliating, sure, but hesitating and wasting time is worse.

Getting it over with quickly and surprising her is more productive.

This isn’t the place to flaunt my dignity.

“Fine, you get a second sip.”

Mayoi pointed the straw at my mouth again, still holding the cup herself.

She’s weirdly fixated on this setup.

Does she feel like she’s feeding an animal or something?

If so, I’ve got some complaints about being handled like that.

But who cares about pretenses?

Right now, I’m only thinking about you, dear frapp, and our second rendezvous.

Here I go!

Just as I was about to latch onto the straw—

“Sorry, Hirose-senpai! I’m late… huh…?”

※

The other person I was waiting for joined us at the absolute worst moment.

Despite wearing a cute floral dress, her expression felt like it was freezing—not unlike a frapp.

But the girl in front of me was giving off the same displeased vibe.

With an unexpected person showing up, only one phrase came to mind.

※

““Why’s this senior (shrimp) here…?””

Yeah, figures.

I knew it’d come to this.

Chapter 221: Summer Break, Rival 3

Arriving ten minutes before the meetup time was my respectable junior, the ever-enthusiastic explorer of the Uryu Fan Club, Rando Sora-dono.

It’s my first time seeing her since summer break started, but her trademark dandelion-bright smile is nowhere to be seen.

As she approached, she began glaring at our school’s blonde seductress.

Naturally, Mayoi met her gaze head-on.

For a few seconds, sparks flew between them, but almost simultaneously, they broke into wide grins.

“Hello, Natori-senpai. As usual, you’re wearing such sloppy casual clothes, aren’t you? They sure attract a lot of attention, but have you forgotten your true love and awakened to a new romance?”

“Oh my, little junior-chan, this outfit is the very symbol of who I am. It just so happens my pheromones are overflowing, but you’re so quick to jump to conclusions, aren’t you~?”

“Is that so~? I couldn’t figure out why you’d show so much skin to guys you’re not into, so I was confused~.”

“Well, of course~! You’re so far removed from an outfit like mine, so it’s no wonder you can’t imagine it, right~?”

Right off the bat, the two were throwing punches in a verbal brawl, veins practically popping.

It’s a familiar sight by now, but at this point, I’m tempted to say they’re actually good friends.

“No way I could~! If I dressed like that and got mistaken for a pervert, I’d hate it~!”

“Calling legitimate fashion trash like that—does a flat figure make your heart just as flat~?”

“As expected from a senpai whose only pride is her body—she sure knows how to talk big~!”

“To look at me and only come up with that, your perspective is so narrow, junior-chan~!”

“Cut it out already!”

““Ow!!””

Exasperated by their increasingly venomous retorts, I chopped both their heads.

Personally, I wouldn’t mind watching a bit longer, but they’re seriously bothering everyone around.

They’re already drawing enough attention as it is—let’s not make it worse.

““What’s with you acting all high and mighty!?””

Their bickering finally stopped, but now their ire was aimed at me.

“This is all because you invited this shrimp, isn’t it!? We’re supposed to talk about Aoyagi, so what’s the big idea, idiot!?”

“Huh!? A talk about Aoyagi-senpai!? Then what was that earlier!?”

Mayoi was openly furious with me, but Rando-dono’s eyes were still locked on her.

“What do you mean, ‘that earlier’?”

“You were trying to let Hirose-senpai drink from your cup, weren’t you!? If you’ve got someone else you like, what’s with that behavior!?”

“Ugh, kids these days. That was just playful teasing. It’s like messing around with a pet.”

Hey, don’t casually call me a pet.

I spun three times and barked, but that was all for the frappe—I’m not your dog.

“Whether you see it that way or not, it’s different for the other person! What if you make your partner anxious with that!?”

“At least Aoyagi wouldn’t care. He’d probably join in on teasing Hirose.”

I couldn’t argue with Mayoi’s oddly serious tone.

Sadly, I can totally picture that scenario.

Why am I stuck as the guy who gets picked on? It’s about time I complained without getting cursed for it.

“Enough! Hirose-senpai, you’re just as bad! You can’t do stuff that’s so misleading!”

“My apologies…”

Realizing arguing with Mayoi wouldn’t solve anything, Rando-dono turned to correct me instead.

Her words made me reflexively apologize, but letting them think I’m some sleazy guy grates on me.

“But I had no choice. To get a taste of that frappe, I had to play the fool…”

When I admitted I caved to the allure of sweetness, Rando-dono’s eyes widened for a moment before her expression shifted.

“Um, I don’t really get it, but you weren’t flirting, right?”

“No way I’d flirt with her.”

“Right. If we were, it’d be way more sensual.”

Miss, could you kindly zip it? (Shut up.)

“She said she’d let me have a sip, but only if we did it that way.”

“Huh…”

Rando-dono put a hand to her mouth in surprise.

Yeah, seeing her reaction confirms Mayoi’s behavior was weird.

I was starting to feel bad for being careless, even if I didn’t know better, but then Rando-dono hit me with something unexpected.

“Natori-senpai, you were gonna make him help with your problem and not even treat him!?”

A pure, 100% genuine question from Rando-dono, no sarcasm involved.

I wasn’t quite following, but Mayoi looked flustered for the first time today.

Wait, if I help with her problem, I get a frappe?

“Well, it’s about the consulter showing gratitude, so it doesn’t have to be a treat, but he came all this way using train fare.”

“Ugh…”

Fascinatingly, Rando-dono was dealing more damage to Mayoi than during their earlier spat.

A surprise weak hit can hurt more than an expected strong one, and I’m witnessing it firsthand.

“Got it. In that case, I’ll buy Hirose-senpai a frappe.”

“Huh, really?”

“Of course. Don’t worry about it—I was planning to anyway.”

“Whoa…!”

An angel! An angel has descended before me!

Getting a fancy drink like that just for listening and giving advice? I couldn’t be more grateful.

As expected of Rando-dono, the junior I’ve acknowledged.

“…Hold it.”

As Rando-dono headed to the counter, Mayoi stopped her.

Wondering what was up, I watched as she thrust her frapp toward me.

“Here, Hirose, take it. Junior-chan, just buy one for yourself.”

Whaaaaaaaaaaat!?

Swallowing my silent scream, I looked at Mayoi, who was clearly not as composed as usual.

What’s gotten into her? She made me bark for a second sip earlier, and now this?

“No, you don’t have to force yourself. I’ve got plenty of allowance.”

“So do I, you know?”

“…Your tone’s kinda weird, isn’t it?”

“It’s totally normal, okay?”

“No, your sentence endings are unnaturally long…”

Before I knew it, the conversation had shifted to who’d treat me to a frappe.

…Um, if it’s not too much trouble, I’d be thrilled if both of you could bless me with one.