My Popular-as-Hell Best Friend Is Annoying, So I Want to Get Him a Girlfriend and Shut Him Up - Chapter 2: Guidance

Chapter 2: Guidance

Aoyagi-kun, or rather Aoyagi Uryu, is my classmate who sits next to me—a perfect superhuman who’s got it all: athletic prowess, stellar grades, and drop-dead gorgeous looks.

Naturally, he’s incredibly popular with the girls. Even more than a year into high school, confessions keep pouring in. If that were all, I’d just let him enjoy his youthful romance. But the problem is these shy girls who can’t bring themselves to talk to him directly and end up dragging me into it instead. I’m not annoyed about it anymore, but honestly, it’s a hassle.

That’s why I’ve been trying to help these girls out, hoping to get Uryu a girlfriend and be done with it. But it’s been nearly half a year with me having zero success. When will I ever get my peace back?

“Um, will you… pass it on?”

Maybe because my silence dragged on too long, Kirita Akari looks at me nervously, but I ignore her for now.

Looking at the letter she handed me, I voice the first thought that comes to mind.

“A letter? In this day and age?”

There’ve been plenty of girls like her who’ve used me to get to Uryu for a confession, but this is the first time someone’s brought a letter. It might sound surprising, but while some asked me to create an excuse to talk or pass on a gift, a letter? That’s a new one.

“W-Well, um, saying my feelings out loud is, like, too embarrassing…”

“Then why not just send an email or a Line message? That’d be way faster.”

“But I… I don’t even know Aoyagi-kun’s contact info…”

“What?”

Not knowing that ridiculously charming guy’s contact info means she barely has any connection to him, doesn’t it?

“Besides, I thought a letter would feel more… sincere, you know?”

“I see. In that case, can I take a look at it?”

“Huh?”

Kirita Akari’s nervous expression shifts to one of suspicion.

What’s with her? It’s not like I said anything complicated. Is her hearing going bad already? If that’s the case, no choice—I’ll repeat myself.

“I’m asking if I can read what’s in the letter.”

“…No way, obviously?”

“Why not?”

“Uh, because, like, a love letter is only for the person it’s meant for, right?”

“I see. If that’s how you feel, fine. You’re 100 percent gonna get rejected, but I’ll pass it to Uryu anyway.”

With that, I turn on my heel and start down the stairs. Uryu’s at club practice and not in the classroom, so I’ll probably just kill some time. Worst case, I can hand it to him tomorrow morning—I’m not waiting around for him to finish practice. That’s too much of a pain.

“W-Wait, hold on!”

“Gahhh!!”

Suddenly, she yanks me by the collar from behind, choking me in the process.

“S-Sorry!”

“Sorry doesn’t cut it! Were you trying to kill me?!”

And to top it off, she did this while I was walking down the stairs. One wrong step, and I could’ve been seriously hurt!

“Um, what did you mean by that?”

“Huh? By what?”

“Y-You know, the part about… 100 percent getting rejected…”

Looks like Kirita Akari took my throwaway line pretty seriously. Good—my strategy worked.

“It means exactly what I said. You’re gonna get rejected by Uryu. End of story.”

“W-Why? You can’t know that yet!”

“Then let me ask you this: would you date a guy who confessed to you when you don’t even know his contact info?”

“!”

“I don’t know what’s in your letter, but if you confess out of the blue like it’s no big deal, you probably won’t even get a reply.”

After I laid it all out,, Kirita Akari falls completely silent. Looks like she’s got no comeback—total victory for me.

I hate to do this to someone I just met, but I’m not backing down here. Do you know how many times I’ve watched girls crash and burn? Well, technically, it’s not me who’s losing—it’s the girls confessing to Uryu.

“…Fine. If you’re gonna say all that, you can look.”

“Look? Shouldn’t you be asking me to look?”

“Please, look at it!”

Her request sounds a bit half-hearted, but I’m a man of principle. Since we’ve come this far, I’ll see it through to the end.

“Alright then, I’ll give you some advice as a fellow guy.”

“…A fellow guy?”

Kirita Akari’s got a question mark practically floating over her head, but I don’t care.

I pull out the letter from the pristine white envelope.