My Popular-as-Hell Best Friend Is Annoying, So I Want to Get Him a Girlfriend and Shut Him Up - Chapter 115 & 116 & 117

Chapter 115: The Reason for Her Resolve

I’m led out to the hallway because, apparently, this isn’t something to discuss in the classroom. 

A while ago, I would’ve shut this down without hesitation, but with her, it’s almost certainly about Uryu. 

It’s worth hearing her out.

“So, what’s this about? I don’t have much time, you know.”

Even though homeroom ended early, there’s not much time before first period. 

There’s no room for beating around the bush, but Misono Izumo hesitates to get to the point. 

She’s fumbling her words, her gaze darting 180 degrees. 

She’s the worst kind of hassle.

“If you’ve got nothing to say, I’m heading back.”

“Wait, hold on a sec!”

When I finally lose patience and snap curtly, Misono Izumo seems to give in and opens her mouth.

“Um, do you remember what I said on the day of the sports festival?”

Her cheeks are slightly flushed as she musters her courage, and it finally clicks for me. 

Oh, I get it now. 

No wonder she’s been so reluctant to speak.

“Whoops, my bad, my fly was wide open, wasn’t it?”

“You wouldn’t worry about that after a whole weekend! And gym uniforms don’t even have zippers!”

“Nice comeback.”

Her sharp retort deserves a round of applause, but time’s short, so I’ll get to the point. 

Seems like Misono Izumo’s tension has eased a bit too.

“Kidding. It’s about the study group, right?”

“…When you say it, it doesn’t sound like a joke.”

“I’ve lived my life free of lies, always being upfront.”

“I wish you’d think about the trouble that causes me.”

Misono Izumo puts a hand to her forehead and sighs. 

I thought Hasegawa-sensei was the only one stressing out our class rep, but apparently, I’m on the list too. 

That’s deeply unfair.

“Back to the topic. You’re gathering people for the study group, right? What’s the purpose of it, anyway?”

“Purpose? To improve our grades, obviously.”

“No, I mean the people. Are we studying with the whole class or just close friends?”

“Oh, that’s what you meant.”

“With you being the class rep, you might say something like wanting to boost the class’s grades. If that’s the case, I’d only be able to drag Uryu along.”

“True, you do kind of stand out in class.”

I don’t stand out! 

I’m living with my feet firmly on the ground. 

I’m human, you know!

“It’s not like I got orders to do that, so just close friends is fine. It’s less stressful that way.”

She says it casually, but if Hasegawa-sensei had given her such an order, would she have gone through with it? 

…Yeah, she totally would. 

And she’d probably raise the class’s average score while she’s at it. 

Her vitality as class rep surpasses even Uryu’s, so she could probably brag about that, at least.

“But that brings up a problem.”

“Problem?”

“I don’t have any close friends, so I’d still only be able to invite Uryu.”

Uryu, I could probably drag along by force, but I don’t have that kind of relationship with anyone else. 

This is clearly a miscast for recruitment.

“No way, you could invite Haruka or Miharu, right? You were hanging out with them at the sports festival.”

“That was either coincidence or a whim. We’re not exactly buddies. Besides, if you want them, why don’t you invite them?”

“If I invite them, it’ll feel too serious, and they’ll probably say no. But with you, they’ll think, ‘Oh, he’s probably just doing it for fun,’ and they’ll join. They’re both super curious, you know.”

This girl—sure, I owe her for the towel thing, but isn’t she being a bit too rude? 

Me, the guy who always goes all-out, doing something for fun? 

No way. 

I probably won’t study, though.

“Fine. I’ll ask them, but when are we doing this? There’s no space where we can gather and talk at though.”

“That’s the thing.”

During the exam period, we’re required to study at school until the usual club activity hours end. 

It’s not strictly enforced, but unlike during club time, if you try to leave early, a teacher will call you out immediately.

 I’ve been caught three times, so I know for sure. Escaping is surprisingly tough.

That means, even after school, we can’t just hang out and make noise in the classroom. 

During self-study, you’re supposed to be in the classroom, the library, or the staff room if you have questions, so gathering is tricky.

“Lunch break is for eating, so there’s not much time. After school’s a bit too late too, isn’t it?”

“Morning, then? If we come early to study, no one’s gonna complain.”

“I’m fine with that, but if we do it in the morning, will you show up?”

“No way. You think I’d skip my fun breakfast time with Dad?”

“That’s a bit of an unexpected answer, but yeah, fair enough.”

I thought we’d settle it quickly, but with all these restrictions, we’re getting nowhere. 

This study group is way harder to organize than I expected.

“We’re out of time. Let’s both come up with ideas by tomorrow morning. I’ll leave the member recruitment to you—your friends are probably people I know too.”

“I doubt anyone would show up even if I invited them.”

“Not if not during the exam season, right? Well then, I’m counting on you.”

“Wait a sec.”

As Misono Izumo turns to head back to the classroom, I stop her. 

There’s two minutes left until first period starts—well we’re probably gonna exceed that with this talk, but it can’t be helped.

“About Uryu… why’d you suddenly get so motivated?”

This study group thing—she brought it up during the sports festival finals. 

She didn’t say it outright, but it’s obviously about setting up a chance to be with Uryu.

Up until now, she’s never done anything like this. 

Even when other girls confessed to Uryu or when Rando-dono made her big, bold moves, Misono Izumo stayed the same. 

She stubbornly hid her feelings for Uryu. 

I wanted to know what changed her mind.

“…Well, if I had to say, maybe it’s because during the boys’ finals at the sports festival, a certain someone got me fired up.”

Misono Izumo doesn’t dodge the question about Uryu. Instead, she answers with a gentle smile.

Chapter 116: The Reason He Doesn’t Have a Girlfriend

“Someone went out there in the game, turned the tide, and led to a comeback victory. That’s bound to inspire people. I mean, you barely have any basketball experience, right?”

“Just what we do in gym class.”

“For someone like you to play within your limits, shine, and entertain everyone around you—I honestly felt like I was being left behind. That’s why I thought, I want to do what I can, try hard, and take on challenges. If I keep saying I don’t have the courage, time will slip away in the blink of an eye.”

I could’ve brushed it off, saying the team would’ve won even without me, but I didn’t.

I genuinely thought Misono Izumo’s determination was admirable. 

She’s serious and stubborn, so she must’ve finally realized how sinful it is to stagnate. 

If she’s ready to face Uryu with that understanding, I can’t help but want to put the past behind us and cheer her on.

“Also, I’m about ready to beat Aoyagi-kun in the overall rankings. Always coming in second is, well, frustrating.”

And the fact that she’s not just treating this as a chance to bond with Uryu is impressive. 

With few exceptions, Misono Izumo has always secured first or second place alongside Uryu. 

Even in our second year, when the tests split into humanities and sciences, she never relinquished her spot in the overall deviation scores. 

Wanting to finally best Uryu is a pretty heated development.

“Got it. I’ll handle the study group thing. You focus on studying and get ready to take Uryu down.”

“You’re awfully confident, and that’s reassuring. Thank you.”

“I’m just repaying a debt. No need for thanks.”

“You could just accept it gracefully, you know.”

“By the way, would doing something on the weekend work? Planning for weekdays feels unrealistic.”

“I’m fine with that. I’d just be studying anyway. If I can study in a different environment, that’s even better.”

“Got it.”

If weekends are an option, the possibilities expand a ton. 

No time or place restrictions either. 

The only question is whether people will show up, unlike at school.

“Ah, wait a sec!”

This time, Misono Izumo called out to me as I was about to enter the classroom. 

The bell for first period rang right then, but she didn’t move to go inside.

“Hey, you sure that’s okay?”

“There’s still a minute or so before the teacher arrives. It’s fine.”

That’s not something you’d expect from the class rep, but it showed how urgent this was for her. 

A bit of a hassle, but if we stay in the hallway, we’ll see the teacher coming. 

Might as well hear her out. 

If it’s about Uryu, I don’t want to brush it off.

“So, what’s up?”

“Well, I overheard your conversation with Aoyagi-kun earlier…”

Misono Izumo looked away, seeming even more hesitant than when she brought up the study group. 

Was she talking about when Uryu and I were geeking out over art? 

Is she about to tell me she’s not a Dalí fan but a Magritte fan? 

I like Magritte too, so no issue there. 

Uryu probably knows way more about him anyway, so no worries.

As I mulled over whether she might prefer Cubism over Surrealism, Misono Izumo’s cheeks flushed slightly, and she met my gaze.

“Aoyagi-kun… is he a lolicon?”

…Oh.

I couldn’t hide it. 

My face betrayed my sadness.

But it’s not my fault. Aoyagi Uryu is, without a doubt, the poster boy for lolicons. 

For Misono Izumo, who has feelings for him, it’s probably best to tell her the truth.

“Unfortunately, it’s true.”

I said it with weight in my voice. 

Misono Izumo put a hand to her mouth, clearly shocked. 

It’s not something she can easily accept.

“It seems the suspect prefers six-year-olds. He was just preaching to me about the importance of six-year-olds.”

“No way…!”

“I get wanting to deny it. But he can’t let go of that fixation. He’s guilty as charged.”

I used to think Uryu didn’t have a girlfriend because growing up in the strong-willed Aoyagi household made him wary of women. 

Plus, with beautiful sisters, it wouldn’t be surprising if his standards were unconsciously sky-high.

But the cruel reality hit me. 

Aoyagi Uryu doesn’t have a girlfriend because he’s a lolicon. 

He can only love six-year-old girls. 

No way he’s getting a girlfriend like that.

“What should I do? Should I start using baby talk or something?”

She must be really confused, because Misono Izumo threw out a suggestion that was way out of left field. 

Six-year-olds don’t use baby talk, do they? 

Even Uryu would be thrown off by that.

“Having more tricks up your sleeve is good. Try saying something.”

“What, right here!?”

“Obviously. Who else are you gonna try it on?”

“W-Well, that’s true.”

Truth is, I was dying to hear the straitlaced class rep try baby talk, so I said it with a dead serious face. 

And somehow, she went for it. 

Her brain’s definitely short-circuiting—not just on the verge, but fully fried.

“Um, okay then… ‘Misono Ijumo ish in firsht pwace at shix years owd!’”

“Pfft!!”

I couldn’t hold it in. 

It was impossible. 

Not only was it hilarious that Misono Izumo was using baby talk to introduce herself, but the content was so creative it hit my funny bone hard. 

“First place at six years old”? 

That’s genius-level thinking.

“Hey, what’s so funny!?”

“It’s just too perfect. That’s a complimentary laugh.”

“You’re mocking me, aren’t you!?”

Misono Izumo’s face turned beet red as she snapped back. 

Maybe she’s starting to cool down, because there’s no way baby talk makes sense here.

“…Misono.”

I clamped my mouth shut, desperately trying to stifle my laughter.

Unbelievably, Misono Izumo’s baby talk was overheard perfectly by the math teacher who was about to start first period. 

The way he stared off into the distance hit my funny bone so hard it was torture.

“S-Sensei! It’s not what it looks like! It’s just a tactic to outsmart someone!”

“…Right. I got completely outsmarted just now.”

“Are you really sure you understand!? That was just a joke, so please don’t spread it around!”

“…Mmkay.” (T/N: Grade schooler talk, Sensei did it too to mock her.)

“Sensei!!?”

Please, just stop…!

My stomach’s twisting—I’m gonna die. Sensei joining in is just unfair…!

Chapter 117: A Just-Right Request

After the unexpected teacher encounter had me laughing my guts out, I rub my stomach and head back to the classroom.

Misono Izumo shot me a sharp glare, but just thinking about baby talk coming from that stern-looking girl makes laughter bubble up again.

If I don’t get used to this soon, my abs are going to die in a spiral of hilarity.

The gap between her seriousness and that baby talk is terrifying.

“You were talking out there for a while. What was that about?”

“Shut up, you enemy of humanity.”

“Why?”

Uryu looks puzzled at the sudden insult, but I can’t let my guard down.

This guy’s a lolicon, the enemy of pure young girls.

If he’s just quietly admiring them, I could maybe, maybe, let it slide a hundred steps.

But not making a girlfriend because of it? Unforgivable.

Right, I got a bit sidetracked with Tsuyu’s thing, but my goal is to get this guy a girlfriend.

That way, fewer girls will flock to Uryu, and I’ll finally get some peace and quiet.

It’s been slow going, but there’s also the matter of fixing Uryu’s lolicon tendencies.

I need to act fast.

I spend the entire math class mulling over the study group and everything else.

※]

“Oh, Hirose, perfect timing.”

After first period ends and I step out for a bathroom break, a girl with dazzling golden hair calls out to me.

It’s Natori Mayoi.

“What’s this ‘perfect timing’? You need something from me?”

“Not exactly ‘need,’ but it’s about time you helped me out.”

“Helped?”

I tilt my head, and Natori Mayoi lets out a big sigh.

Then she leans in close, covering her mouth with her hand.

“That Aoyagi thing—you haven’t helped at all so far.”

She whispers so no one around can hear.

True, I did witness her ugly spat with Rando-dono at the gym, but she hasn’t specifically asked for help since.

Probably because of the sports festival stuff.

But this is good timing.

I was just thinking about making moves for the Uryu strategy.

I’d love for someone as motivated as Natori Mayoi, who’s bold enough to approach me like this, to really step up.

“Alright, I’ll help out this time. So, what do you want me to do?”

“Well, it’s not exactly something I want you to do…”

Natori Mayoi twirls her hair with her index finger, hesitating and mumbling.

It’s a rare, fresh reaction, and her usual beauty gives way to a cuteness that peeks through.

I think it’s great when she shows off a gap like this.

“What does Aoyagi like to eat?”

“Favorite food?”

What kind of outdated question is that, like something from an arranged marriage meeting?

Is she planning to cook his favorite dish to win him over?

Well, maybe that’s what it takes to break through the lolicon barrier.

But the thing is, I have no clue what Uryu’s favorite food is.

We eat lunch together often, but he seems to enjoy everything.

If you ask me what he specifically loves, I’m at a loss.

“What, you don’t know? After all that big talk about helping out?”

She’s not trying to tease me—Natori Mayoi looks genuinely stunned.

Fair enough.

A guy who’s going on about getting Uryu a girlfriend doesn’t even know basic info about him.

No wonder she’s floored.

“W-Well, he doesn’t seem picky, so it’s fine. Alright, do you know where he hangs out after school or on weekends? If I’m gonna ask him on a date, it’d help to connect over something he likes.”

“…”

Calm down, me.

I should know where Uryu goes, right?

When we were working on Kirita Akari’s date strategy, didn’t I go on a “date” with Uryu?

Wait, no, back then he was acting with me as the date partner, so he wasn’t going to places he liked.

I learned stuff like how he’d thoughtfully suggest a café if we walked too much, but I didn’t learn a thing about his favorite spots.

Even when I hung out with him and Tsukikage Miharu, it was similar.

We just messed around, and before I knew it, we’d split up.

A goody-two-shoes like him who doesn’t hate any place—where does he even like to go?

The school, like some model student?

Noticing my lack of response, Natori Mayoi glares at me with half-lidded eyes.

“…What have you even been doing all this time?”

Yeah, seriously, what have I been doing?

T/N: No, seriously, what have you been doing?