My Memories Came Back, But I'm Not Telling My Childhood Friends - Chapter 20

Chapter 20

“—W-Will you go on a date with me?!”

“…………”

It was lunch break. I had come up to the rooftop.

The moment I got the sudden summons, I already had a bad feeling, but the request that came out was way beyond anything I expected. I was completely stumped.

“…Is this some kind of penalty game?”

“N-No, it’s not!”

At first I suspected someone had put her up to it.

…but I quickly shook that thought away.

There was no way she would do something that tasteless.

Still, why a date all of a sudden…?

There was no chance Maya-chan still liked me after all this time—

We hadn’t even properly seen each other’s faces for four whole years. On top of that, I had clearly told her I hated her.

Staying in love after that would be straight-up crazy.

Well, I didn’t even know if the “like” she said as a kid was romantic or not, so who could say…

Either way, it was way too sudden and I had no idea what was going on.
As usual, I couldn’t read what Maya-chan was thinking.
Still…

“Sorry, but I can’t accept that invitation.”

If someone saw us on a date, it would be all-out war.

I’d probably get burned at the stake for seducing the class angel.

Even if not, I didn’t want any more unnecessary trouble right now.

“It’s fine! I’ve already thought up a thousand excuses for if we get caught!”

But Maya-chan said that with total confidence.

A thousand excuses… Knowing her, she really might have come up with them, and that scared me a little.

“First of all, why do you even want to go on a date with me?”

“W-Well… because we’re childhood friends?”

“Why does that sound like a question…”

Did she not even know herself?

Or was she just dodging the real reason?

“Anyway, please! Just once is enough!”

“Even if you say that…”

Honestly, if it was just about how I felt, I’d be totally fine with it.

There was still some awkwardness, but going on a date or two with Maya-chan was something I’d actually want to ask for myself.

But right now, no. I still hadn’t changed anything about myself.

The worst thing would be bad rumors spreading.

In my current state, I wouldn’t be able to handle it if that happened.

For a second I even thought about just telling her everything…

But I didn’t know when—or if—things would get better, and raising her hopes without any certainty felt wrong.

On top of that, Maya-chan would probably just say I didn’t have to try so hard and end up spoiling me…
Then we’d both go down together.

So in the end…

Maybe it would be better to make Maya-chan give up on me cleanly, once and for all.

Even if that meant her feelings for me faded away, that was fine.

It was better than her clinging to something pointless.

If I accepted the date now, we’d just head straight for ruin together.

“…Is it really no good?”

Maya-chan looked up at me with a face that was about to burst into tears.

I was still weak against that look.

But today, of all days, I had to hold firm.

“No. It would hurt both of us.”

“It’s okay, a little hurt is nothing. Going on a date with you would be worth way more than that.”

“That’s just what you want.”

“Ah… sorry. I wasn’t thinking about your feelings again…”

I accidentally said something I didn’t need to say to the stubbornly persistent Maya-chan.
It felt like I was replaying that moment from back then, and the trauma started to sting.

But if I didn’t do this, Maya-chan wouldn’t give up, so I had no choice…

I made that excuse to myself and turned my back like I was running away.

“That’s how it is, so… see you.”

“W-Wait…”

But Maya-chan still wouldn’t let go.

“Um… uh… well…”

She desperately searched for words. She had probably stopped me without thinking at all.

Looking at her like that actually hurt to watch.

I didn’t want to see Maya-chan like this anymore.

It was probably the half-heartedness that was the problem.

Because I kept giving her vague hope, she couldn’t cut off her lingering feelings.

Maybe I should just ignore her and leave.

I thought that and tried to walk away for real this time, but…

An unexpected line slipped out of Maya-chan’s mouth.

“If… if you go on a date with me… I-I’ll let you touch my boobs!!!”

—Maya-chan’s loud voice suddenly rang across the rooftop.

Her face was bright red as she threw out that all-or-nothing line.

“…”

I was speechless.

Was that the answer she came up with after thinking so hard…?

My head was starting to hurt.

I already had enough things stressing me out lately. If this kept up, my brain was going to start screaming.

Maya-chan’s wild ideas always managed to surprise me.

“Do you even understand what you just said…? You should calm down first…”

“I-I am calm…! If you want more than that, I’ll—”

No good… She was nowhere near calm.

Just how badly did she want this date?

If I turned her down, it looked like a whole different problem would pop up. Her behavior was that off.

At first I thought it was too sudden and maybe some light joke, but it seemed like Maya-chan was dead serious.

If I ignored her and left now, the mood said she’d probably start crying again.

……

At this point…

I should try thinking from a different angle.

Last time I pushed her away, and we ended up in the worst possible relationship.
So maybe it would be better to accept here instead.

If it was just a date, I could choose the time and place so the chance of anyone seeing us would be almost zero.

As long as it didn’t get found out, that was all that mattered.

In short, I just needed to find a solution other than keeping distance.

If I played my cards right, it might not be impossible to balance my relationship with Maya-chan and my own goals.

That way I wouldn’t have to make her sad.

Unlike back then, I had my memories now.

I also had the “feelings” I didn’t have at the time.

If I was thinking about Maya-chan, then here—

“…Fine.”

“—! Really!?”

“Yeah. But I’m putting all kinds of restrictions on it so we don’t get caught.”

We’d go and come back separately. Light disguises. A place a bit away from our hometown.
At the very least, we had to do that much.

“Yeah, yeah! Totally okay!”

As soon as I told her the conditions, Maya-chan’s energy came rushing back, completely different from before.

Seriously… She threw me off every time.

I ended up giving in to her request again, but was this really the right call?
Everything felt too half-hearted and it made me uneasy.

But—

Maya-chan was smiling happily.

Once I saw that smile, there was no turning back.

With those complicated feelings swirling inside me, I started making date plans with Maya-chan.