Chapter 10 – I Don’t Need to Be Number One, So…

“Senpai! Let’s walk home together!”
“Shall we?”

Ever since I started dating her—the girl who knows everything—we’ve started walking home together whenever the other girls aren’t around.

“Senpai.”

Saying that, she held out her hand.
I grasped her hand in return as we started our way back.

“There’s a place I want to stop by a little today. Is that okay?”

She stared up at me, waiting for an answer.
Did I have any particular plans today…?

“Sure, where are we going?”
“I’m glad! Um… apparently there’s a famous crepe stall set up in the park near your house, and I want to eat one!”

Crepes, huh… I haven’t had one in a while.

“Sounds good. Let’s go eat.”

And so, we walked briskly toward the park.
Since it was on the way home, the lack of mental burden was also a factor that raised my spirits.

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“Waaah~ It looks delicious, Senpai!”
“It really does… they used a lot of fruit too; it’s quite luxurious, isn’t it?”

The portion size relative to the price was generous, naturally lifting my mood.

“…It’s good.”
“Mmm~ It’s delicious!”

And when I actually tried it, it was tastier than I imagined.
Since it was a stall setup rather than a proper shop, I thought the quality might drop a bit… but that wasn’t the case at all. The flavor spreading inside my mouth was rich.

“No, really, that was delicious… I wonder how long they’ll be here.”
“Umm, if I recall… I think they’re here until this week.”
“With this quality, I’d want them to stay forever. What a shame…”

It wasn’t too painful for a high schooler’s wallet, and it had the ability to satisfy a sweet tooth.

“Ah, Senpai, don’t move, okay~?”
“Hm…?”

Chu.

When I stayed still after being suddenly called out to, a soft sensation ran across my cheek.

“Eh…?”
“You had cream on your cheek, Senpai, so I ate it.”

She said she liked me, and we became lovers. A pushy kouhai who even knows my secrets.
My heart raced at her overly skillful maneuvering.

“…!”

Rustle…

I felt like I heard something… something from behind. I also felt someone’s gaze… Was it just my imagination?

“Hehe…”

I turned back to look at her again.
Behind the sweet scent of crepes, only her eyes looked strangely cold.

The next morning, Iroha didn’t come to my house.

—————————

<Side: Yuzuki Iroha>

It’s hard to breathe… my chest hurts… how long have I been running?

“Ugh… uuu… Ren…”

It’s no good. I can’t think of anything.
The world seemed to lose its color, as if telling me I was all alone.

I somehow managed to reach home and returned to my room.

I gripped my smartphone tightly.

Hey, about what happened earlier…
I didn’t know anything…
That was…

The unsent messages kept piling up…

Even while my head was empty, I operated the smartphone.
Repeating the cycle of typing and deleting, typing and deleting, the night had already grown deep.

—————————

“I wonder what happened to Iroha…”

Usually, if something happens, she sends me a LINE… But today she didn’t come to my house in the morning, and she didn’t come to school either.
Something might have happened.

Even when I sent a LINE, it got marked as read, but no reply came.
And then, around 1 AM today…

Message unsent.
Message unsent.
Message unsent.
Message unsent.
………

What was that about…

“I guess I’ll go to Iroha’s house for the first time in a while…”

Worried about my childhood friend who tends to bottle things up, I headed toward her home.

—————————

“Iroha, I came to visit you~”

Arriving at the house, I rang the chime, feeling nostalgic about the familiar sensation.

“…Oh, is that Ren-kun?”
“It’s been a long time, Grandma.”

The one who opened the door and came out wasn’t Iroha, but her grandmother.
Iroha’s family situation is a little complicated, so she lives alone with her grandma.

“I came to visit Iroha… is she here?”

Her grandma began to speak with a complicated expression.

“She is, but she’s shut herself in her room and won’t speak to me. I can only rely on you for matters concerning that child… If only I had been closer to her back then… Ren-kun, can I leave her in your hands again…?”

“It’s okay. I’ll do something about it.”

I was asked for cooperation with a serious expression. In that case, I couldn’t refuse.
I intended to visit and talk to her from the start anyway. It doesn’t seem like just poor physical health.

“Well then, Grandma is going out shopping… I leave it to you.”

Saying that, she went out shopping.
I entered the silent house where Iroha was alone.

How long has it been since I entered this house…

Holding emotions I probably hadn’t felt in several years, I headed to the second floor where Iroha’s room was.

I stood in front of the door right up the stairs.

“Iroha, are you awake?”

I called out, but there was no reply.
I thought she might not be awake, but I could hear a sobbing voice.

“Grandma was worried… of course, I’m worried too. Look, I bought that slightly expensive ice cream you like, so let’s eat it together. …If you don’t answer, I’m coming in, okay…?”

I put my hand on the door and opened it.
It wasn’t locked.

When I entered, the curtains were drawn tight, and the room had sunk into darkness as if rejecting the light.
Inside a small accessory case, the ticket from the aquarium we went to was tucked away, and a photo we took together was displayed on the desk.

“Iroha, what’s wrong…”

I spoke to Iroha, who was wrapped up in her futon.

Silence continued.

I don’t know if seconds or minutes passed. Just as I was about to open my mouth to speak again, Iroha began to speak in a faint voice.

“…I don’t need to be number one, so… so, please! Don’t throw me away…!”
“Iroha…”

She must have been crying hard… her eyes were swollen as she screamed at me.
I was shaken. Not knowing how to reply, I just called her name.

I realized, belatedly, that I might have made a mistake somewhere.

I instinctively hugged Iroha.

“I’m sorry… Iroha.”
“…Hic… sniff…”

It might be too late.
Terrified of my own trauma, I spent my time being indecisive without making decisions.

I might have hurt various people with that behavior.

“I… will definitely give an answer someday. So… can you wait for me until then?”
“…No… You don’t have to give an answer… I don’t want to be thrown away by Ren…! I don’t care what number I am, I just want to be by your side!”

Everyone tells me I’m kind… but that’s not kindness, it’s just indecisiveness.
I’m scared of deciding… scared that something like that time might happen again.

“…I’m scared of rejecting someone and hurting someone again… that’s why I won’t give a result right now. But, I want you to… trust me.”

…I’m taking advantage of Iroha’s kindness. Using the fact that Iroha desires it as an excuse to maintain the status quo.

I gazed at Iroha and kissed her forehead.

“…Yeah, thank you for listening to my selfishness…”

“…I guess the last time we missed each other like this was back then… Look at me… I look terrible, don’t I…”
“Back then, huh… true, it might be about that long ago.”

That day, which became the trigger for Iroha’s dependence on me.
That day, too, she was crying just like today, and I feel like she said similar lines.