My Childhood Friend who is My Girlfriend is not Looking at Me - Chapter 17
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- Chapter 17 - Farewell Story
Farewell Story
I check the time and it shows 7.55PM. I stop studying, shove my phone and wallet in my pocket and leave the house.
When I arrive in front of Kana’s house, I feel extremely nervous.
I exhale as hard as I can and press the intercom to let Kana know I’m here.
After waiting a moment, Kana opens the front door.
“I’m sorry to call you so suddenly. I really need to talk to you.”
“Hmm.”
She’s acting as usual.
“Okay, let’s go then.”
The park is actually only a couple of minutes away from Kana’s house, but we are both silent and we don’t talk on the way there that the park feels so far away.
At the vending machine by the entrance of the park, I buy Kana’s favourite Fanta grape, give it to her, and buy a can of coffee for myself.
“Why don’t we sit on the bench?”
“Hmm.”
We sit side by side on the bench.
I am not particularly aware of it, but there’s a space between us.
There is always a space between us.
I suddenly remember Kana’s smile to Sugimura the other day, it is truly painful.
I open the canned coffee I bought earlier and take a sip before I begin to speak.
“I have a lot of things I want to ask you, is that okay?”
“Hmm.”
Kana looks down, holding the lid of her Fanta grape with both hands without opening it.
“Kana-chan, be honest, you don’t like me, do you?”
As Kana hears my words, she raises her head to look at me.
Her face is dimly lit and I can’t read her expression at all.
“I’m sorry to ask this so suddenly. Ever since we start dating, you are always so cold whenever you’re with me and we don’t flirt at all. I didn’t really care about it at first, but recently you’re getting along with the boys in the class really well, aren’t you? When I saw that, I felt sorry for myself…”
I waited for a while to see what she would say, but she kept silent and didn’t say anything, so I started talking to her again.
“It was so hard to see Kana-chan talking happily with Sugimura and smile at him sweetly like that… even I had never seen Kana-chan smile like that before. However, when I was troubled by all that, I came to a realization that it’s all my fault because I’m just a boring guy who can’t make you laugh even once in all this time we’re together. I’m just someone who have sex with you once in a while, and that made me self-loathing…”
I can’t bring myself to see Kana’s face, I just stare at the canned coffee in my hand as I spoke.
Kana hasn’t said anything yet, she still remain silent.
I still have no idea what she’s thinking.
I have no choice, I have to get to the main topic of the conversation.
“Do you like Sugimura?”
This time, I look straight at Kana’s face and asked.
After a short pause, she finally opens her mouth.
“I don’t really like him. He talks to me a lot, invites me to hang out with him, and makes me feel good when I’m with him. But having sex with him doesn’t feel good. Having sex with Mu-kun feels much better…”
I spit out the coffee I’m about to drink.
“You had sex with Sugimura?”
“Hmm, just once.”
What is this person thinking?
It’s all pitch black.
She just casually admitted that she had sex with Sugimura and she didn’t even say a single apology!
“When did you have sex with him?”
“About two days ago.”
Two days ago, the day she flirted with Sugimura in the classroom after school…then after that!
“So you’re going out with Sugimura?”
Out of curiosity, I accidentally asked her about it, but then I realize that such things are no longer important, I need to get back to the topic.
“Ah, it’s okay, it doesn’t matter anyways. You can go out with Sugimura, you can do whatever you want. I don’t want to go out with you anymore. I wanted to talk to you today with the intention of breaking up with you. Besides, no matter how much you lose your interest in me, you have been flirting with another man in front of me. I’m really pissed off by it, I can never understand what Kana-chan is thinking. I can’t do it anymore. I’m really sorry.”
“Why…”
“No, that’s not what I really want to say. How can you flirt with another guy without a single care in the world? Why did you have sex with Sugimura, whom you don’t even like? Why do you even tell me about it? Don’t you feel guilty?”
The blood rushed up to my head and I exploded with anger.
Kana looks down and seems to be patiently enduring my words, but then she suddenly looks up and throws the Fanta grape she was holding at me as hard as she can.
“Shut up! I don’t know who Mu-kun is anymore!”
She shouted so and started to run back home.
I don’t know what she’s thinking until the very end, but we finally broke up.
So, you did it with Sugimura huh…