Love is indivisible by twins. - Vol 1 Chapter 1.2
“Then, coming to the reason for my visit, ─ when is Jun planning to go out with Naori? Don’t tell me that you forgot …, well you can’t, can you. Since you are quite confident in your memory, aren’t you.”
“How can I ever forget it … After being told such an outlandish request in the time we parted our ways? There is now way I could ever forget…… Even so, in the first place, just how serious were you saying that?”
Exactly one year after the day we started dating, as soon as Rumi told me she wants to break up with me. Furthermore, she added a request to date her little sister, Naori in return. She requested me without even telling me the reason why she had even dumped me.
‘Oh, is that so, Ok then, I guess.’
There was no way I could say that.
Thinking about it rationally, there was no way I could honestly accept such a request in the first place. No, I don’t even need to think about it.
And yet, the girl who was my first girlfriend is asking me to go out with the girl who was my first love.
“Just how ser— ?“
“… I am very serious about it. There is no way I would say this as a joke. Are you stupid?”
“Don’t call people ‘stupid’ from so early in the morning. Damn it, don’t you realize that what you are asking me to do is something that really sounds like a joke?”
“I know that sort of thing. I understand how troublesome it is when I ask you to do such a thing out of the blue. But because it’s Jun …, something I can’t ask to just anyone other than Jun, like this, I am requesting you”
After saying this, Rumi muttered, “Otherwise, there was no point in breaking up with you.” in a soft-fading voice.
If I had not been listening to her words carefully, I probably wouldn’t have caught on what she said just now. Then, with a downcast look on her face, she continued in a weak voice, “Naori has always loved you, Jun.”
When Rumi had told me back then that “Naori can’t live without you, Jun.” it was not that I did not think about the meaning behind that statement. But I tried to keep a demeanor as if I did not think about it. Since I felt that if I didn’t do that, I would be denying the relationship between me and Rumi. So, I pretended not to notice ─ Rather trying to attach a different meaning to that statement.
I gave up on Naori and decided to date Rumi. That is a fact. But as time went on, I fell more and more in love with Rumi. I would be lying if I said I was not reminded of Naori at all, but more than Naori, the place occupied by Rumi in my life had become much larger.
It was way, way larger.
Why does it even matter that I had mutual feelings with Naori at some point of time. It’s already in the past.
“But … even if you say … such kind of thing.”
“Even Jun has feelings for Nao ─ no, let it be; rather, this is a request from my side. I want you to return to me the status of being the elder sister of Naori again. Only Jun is capable of doing that. This is the only way I can think of.”
When I thought that her sharp-rounded eyes widened and looked straight as if they were about to penetrate me, her line of sight dropped all of a sudden. To shift the focus from that subject, Rumi starts brushing up her hair bangs, as her silky smooth hair slides through her fingers.
Oh, now I see. So that’s how it was. Rumi was always aware of my first love for a long time. She knew how I felt at that time. The words that were left unspoken and cut off from between probably hinted to those things.
Even a thick-headed person like me could tell that.
So, when she said, “I’m not good enough for Jun.”, she wanted to say that sort of thing to me huh.
Really, what an idiot she is.
I had already sorted out my feelings.
Even so, to ask me to return her being the elder-sister is my problem … so that is what she meant.
─ So, is that why you decided to end the relationship with me?
Just because of that?
If it is really that, then you really are an idiot. A FOOL OF THE HIGHEST ORDER.
Does she even understand, that how insincere, rude, and stupid you make of Naori by that?
“… I can’t change my feelings that quickly. Besides, it’s too rude to go out with Naori with these lingering feelings.”
“You don’t hate Naori, do you?”
“Of course not.”
“Then all’s fine.”
“IT’S NOT! Really you… Even if it is easier to say that up front, you also understand that it’s not that simple, don’t you? Rather, more than that, … I’m still … about Rumi.”
“─ STOP! DON’T SAY ANYMORE! I won’t go back to you no matter what you say!”
Rumi shouted in a voice – as if squeezed-out, as if still trying to hold onto something.
Her voice pierced my eardrums.
The lonely tone which was lurking in my conversation with Rumi. An intent to subdue the impulsive emotions. The fading smile which she would show from time to time. Whenever I found these signs, I had always searched for possibilities.
I thought, what I needed to do in order to start fresh all over again.
I was feminine, shallow, and unable to get back on my feet, and that was Rumi’s reason to reject me. That I would not be satisfied unless I was with Naori, no matter how hard I tried.
But are you really sure you are okay with that?
“Are you really sure you won’t regret this decision? Would you really be satisfied if I went out with Naori?”
“…Yes,” Rumi nodded slowly,
“I’m sure, I will be alright.”
Say, Rumi. You are really an idiot. You are a fool beyond belief.
Just for the sake of Naori’s love.
Just for the sake of my first love.
I stepped aside. That’s what it’s all about, isn’t it?
To protect her pride as an elder sister.
“So, all this time, is just a well wished dream .., are you ok with that?
It’s really stupid. This is ridiculous.
“So, the reason why you broke up with me was…” but I stopped.
Since the most idiotic person is probably, definitely me. The reason is that I’m trying to fulfill Rumi’s last wish.
“But well, that’s what it is all about, isn’t it?”
[TL note: Probably Jun is hinting towards the meaning of Love.]
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