Jobless Man’s Zombie Survival Life - Chapter 17: A Harem? The Jerk Guy

Chapter 17: A Harem? The Jerk Guy

The day after I got sucked into that classic exorcist movie while puffing on a cigarette.

I was at a small local supermarket.

Maybe I’ll watch that hitman flick with the same actor when I get home.

The goal: cigarettes and food.

I’m not hurting for either, but staying cooped up at home isn’t healthy.

Gotta move sometimes.

…Feels like something’s off, but let’s not dwell.

My brand’s not popular, so convenience stores rarely stock much.

Gotta grab what I can when I can.

Do cigarettes even have an expiration date?

I’ve got plenty of food, but the variety’s lacking.

Some new seasonings or canned goods would spice up my table and soul.

I’m just one guy, so I’ll take what fits in my backpack this time.

“…Alright!”

Took out two zombies inside and checked around.

No more zombies.

Getting good at this—pretty efficient.

…Is that a good thing?

Time to scavenge.

Canned goods are running low.

I’ll leave some so the next guy doesn’t hang themselves in despair.

Grabbing all the same flavor would defeat the purpose.

Tossed in some yakitori, mackerel, and salmon cans.

…Crab cans are long gone.

High-end stuff, so no surprise.

Yeah.

Grabbed salt, pepper, miso, and soy sauce from the seasoning shelf.

Worst case, these make anything taste decent.

Found some vacuum-packed ham.

Meat! Edible meat!!

Score! Expiration date’s fine!!

This trip was worth it.

I’ll put it on ramen.

Heard you can eat eggs past their date if you cook them thoroughly.

But getting food poisoning over vague info would suck, so I’ll pass.

…If this drags on, maybe I’ll raise chickens.

Any left at a nearby farm?

The fresh food section is a disaster, even from a distance.

No need to look—the stench says it all.

Hellish odor.

Grabbed dried udon and soba noodles, then hit the cigarette counter by the registers.

My brand was untouched.

Unpopular, but that’s handy now.

It’s called Mandrake.

I love it, but it’s got a bad rep.

A friend said it “tastes cursed.”

Whatever, it’s perfect for me.

Scavenging went smoothly, so time to head back.

What movie next?

Maybe hit some anime for a change?

As I was thinking, I spotted figures at the entrance.

A group of high schoolers.

One guy in front, three girls behind.

Chatting loudly, real rowdy.

…Zero sense of danger.

They seem way too chill.

Kept my helmet’s light on as I approached.

Don’t wanna be mistaken for a zombie and attacked.

Just in case, my hand’s on my sword, ready to draw.

Bokken’s mounted on my backpack.

“…Stop right there!!”

The guy finally noticed me and shouted.

Shut up, you’ll draw zombies, idiot!!

What’s with this guy!?

“Lower your voice, you’ll attract zombies. What do you want?”

I kept my irritation in check, speaking calmly.

Hand still on the sword.

“You from around here!?”

This guy doesn’t listen!!

Pissed off, I cranked my flashlight to max and blasted his face.

He yelped, blinded.

Crap, did I make it worse!?

Ugh, he’s stupidly handsome! Makes me madder!!

“Yeah… so what do you want?”

“Stop! Stop it! Too bright!!”

This is going nowhere!!

I lowered the light.

“I’m heading out. What’s up?”

“Is it close!?”

“For real… I said keep it down, kid.”

Man, this guy’s exhausting.

The girls behind him are just whispering and staring.

What are these people?

“Just answer! Is your place close!?”

This guy’s hopeless.

I’ve been patient, but I’m done, right?

My tolerance bag’s out of string.

I slowly drew my sword, letting them see.

The blade glinted dully in the sunlight.

First time drawing it outside.

“Listen up. You’re too loud. Wanna get eaten? Be my guest.”

My voice came out scarily low.

Guess I’m that pissed.

They went quiet, and the three girls hid behind the guy.

Hands clinging to his shoulders and waist.

What, a Thousand-Armed Kannon?

A harem? This guy’s a legendary harem dude?

…But is he that popular?

Sure, he’s good-looking.

But a cute dog’s a hundred times smarter.

“Talk quietly… One more time, what do you want?”

I spoke like I was scolding a kid.

Finally sinking in, the guy stammered.

“Uh, um… Can we crash at your place tonight…?”

“No way. Pass. Bye.”

“Huh!?”

Knew it.

Dream on.

No room for rude brats at my place!

I don’t plan to let anyone stay.

My castle! My fortress!!

“No, wait, we’re in trouble… We’re heading to the central library shelter, but… at this pace, it’ll be night…”

The central library’s about an hour’s walk.

It’s just past 2 p.m.

…You’ll make it easily!

Are you snails or something!?

“Rough. Plenty of empty houses around—take your pick.”

“What!? We can’t just break in!?”

…What’s with this guy’s logic? Creepy.

Empty houses are a no, but bothering me is fine?

I almost called him out, but screw it.

Too annoying to say.

“Whatever. My place has no spare rooms. Good luck, kid.”

I strode toward a different entrance.

“Wait!”

“Not waiting. Talking to you kills my brain cells, so leave me alone.”

“What…!?”

He started jogging toward me, so I pointed the blade to stop him.

Used the chance to sprint to the entrance.

Heard them yelling behind me, but I kept going.

For good measure, I kicked over a reeking fruit shelf at the entrance, making a makeshift barricade.

Gah! Liquefied veggies got on my boots!!

Worse than zombie juice!!

Ran across the parking lot to my truck.

Guys like that? Waste of words.

Ignore ‘em.

Got in, started the engine, and saw them sprint out the other entrance.

“Wait!! Don’t survivors help each other!?”

Help, huh…

“Don’t screw with me! You’re all take and no give!!”

I yelled back.

Whoops, my bad.

Should’ve just peeled out, but I floored it toward them.

At my obvious overspeed, they scrambled back into the store.

“Hey…!”

“Stop!”

“Wait!”

“Hold up, old man!”

They finally speak, and they’re just as bad.

Yukiko-chan and Ogahara-san could teach them manners.

Nah, they’d probably die from the shock.

“Shut up!! Drop dead, brats!!”

Yelled at the idiots, spun the rear wheels, and hit the road.

Checked their despairing faces in the rearview and gunned it.

Best gear shift of my life.

…Gotta avoid this area for a while—they might be around.

I’ll stick to North District.

Oh, wait, blond idiots there too.

My idiot encounter rate’s insane.

Makes me appreciate how great Yukiko-chan and Ogahara-san are.

I’ll sneak them some chocolate next time.

Man, I’m exhausted!!

When supplies run low, there’ll be more of those types.

I’m done with idiots!!

…Time for an uplifting movie tonight!