Vol 2 Chapter 25 – A reliable man, his name is Wilson

Although I was somehow released, they decided they couldn’t just let a suspicious person like me wander around. So, after giving me a residency permit, I was escorted to a church built within the slums.

My, the kindness of people really touches the heart.

“So anyway, what am I supposed to do?”

“Since you’re my watcher, shouldn’t you just appropriately watch from my side?”

“I don’t really wanna get close to a church, though.”

“It’s fine, the priest here seems to be one without much power. Puria-san’s true identity won’t be exposed.”

“How d’you know that?”

“I imagine they’d place capable spellcasters in more important locations to hold back the demon invasion, and above all…”

“Above all?”

“Tia-sama says so.”

“If Tia-sama says so, then it can’t be helped.”

“Right?”

“By the way, who was Tia-sama again?”

“Tia-sama is Tia-sama, obviously. Puria-san, please don’t say weird things.”

“Was that it? Right, Tia-sama was… Tia-sama.”

Yes, yes. No need to think about unnecessary things.

“Huh, what were we just talking about?”

“For now, it just means you don’t need to do anything but stick close to me, Puria-san.”

“Well, alright. Yeah, as far as the purpose of my job goes, that’s fine.”

Even while tilting her head, Puria-san seemed to accept it.

Thank goodness she’s a bit of an idiot.

From what I’ve heard from Tia-sama, it seems strong suggestions don’t stick too well.

Anyway, using this church as a base, I want to gather information in this city.

Since Alice-san is operating separately, our policy going forward is to gather our own intel on our end.

“And so, I will be in your care for a while.”

“Yes, I have heard the story. You have been through a terrible ordeal.”

The priest here, Farmer-san, said such things to me with a smile on his face.

He was a kind-looking, older gentleman.

“We cannot offer much in the way of hospitality, but fortunately, we have a spare room. Please relax and take your time while you are staying in this city.”

“I gratefully accept your kindness. With my lowly standing, I have nothing to offer in return, but…”

What a nice guy. I suppose I’ll take him up on his offer.

“I hear you were captured by those filthy demons. Divine punishment will surely fall upon those creatures in the near future.”

“Yes, absolutely. Well then, I think I’ll go take a look around the city for a bit.”

“Understood. Please take care. May God’s blessing be with you.”

Receiving that standard line, I stumbled out.

Puria-san, who had been observing the situation from a tree in the garden, returned to my shoulder once the priest was out of sight.

“Where’re we going?”

“When it comes to gathering information, a tavern is the first stop, obviously.”

“What, is it okay for a clergyman to go to a place like that?”

“I’m practically excommunicated anyway. Besides, I’d actually prefer to go to the town hall or a library. But I’m just an illegal trespasser in the end. I doubt they’d give me the time of day.”

“It’s a tough world.”

Truly.

If I had money, I might be able to get citizenship or something, but I’ve already decided to live in Agusta.

After walking for about twenty minutes, I found a decently sized tavern, so let’s go inside.

It has a vulgar feel to it, but then again, there wouldn’t be any refined taverns in the slums to begin with.

I asked for a little pocket money before parting ways with Alice-san, so I have enough for a drink at least.

“You’re a total gigolo.”

“I’ll pay it back properly. Hmph.”

“Gross!”

“How cruel. Well, that’s fine, but please don’t talk while we’re inside the shop.”

“I know, I know.”

Pushing open the double doors, the interior was exactly what you’d expect.

The first thing that caught my eye were the dead-drunk lowlifes.

Then, there were the thugs who looked like bad news, guffawing loudly over a card game while downing their glasses.

And finally, the prostitutes in revealing clothes, reeking of strong perfume, trying to pick up customers.

My, how scary, how scary.

I might just wet myself.

In places like this, if you look around like a country bumpkin, you’re bound to be seen as an easy mark.

I walked confidently up to the counter, puffed out my chest, and declared:

“Master, one milk!”

“We ain’t got anything like that.”

What the hell. What a poorly stocked shop.

“Hey, hey, nii-san, this is a tavern. If you ain’t gonna order booze, go somewhere else!”

“Yeah, yeah, go back home and suck on your mommy’s shriveled tits.”

“Gyahahaha.” Vulgar laughter arose.

How rude. Mother Garon’s breasts are perfect in both firmness and size.

I’ve never touched them, though.

One day, if I get permission, I’ll touch them all I want.

I’ll find out which is softer, them or paw pads.

By the way, Tia-sama’s breasts are peerless in size, but because she’d cry if I touched them, I didn’t get many chances to do so in the past, which was lonely.

Even though I did touch them, anyway. Tia-sama’s crying voice is cute, too.

“Then, a Kahlua Milk.”

“How much do you like milk? We don’t have fancy cocktails like that here.”

Hmm, this is a problem. I’m a lightweight, you know.

I can’t drink alcohol unless it’s got milk in it.

“Hey, if you’re gonna drink something like that, buy us a round instead.”

“Yeah, yeah, it’s called making good use of your money.”

Saying such things, the two thugs approached.

No, no, I hate being fleeced. It makes me feel miserable.

“I may look like this, but I am a clergyman. You’ll bring down divine punishment if you keep talking like that.”

“Like hell there’s a clergyman who looks like you!”

“You look like a barbarian, no matter how you slice it.”

It’s true that my outfit is totally barbaric, though.

I was planning on passing myself off as a clergyman in this city.

At the very least, I should’ve borrowed a priest’s habit from Farmer-san.

Though I might’ve stood out even more if I had.

“Now, now, my lost lambs, please calm down and listen. Look at this bird here.”

Saying that, I pointed at Puria-san, who was leisurely preening herself on my shoulder.

“What about this bird?”

“Isn’t she cute?”

“Ah, well, sure, she’s cute enough.”

“Right?”

“…”

“…”

“And?”

“And what?”

“So, what does that have to do with anything? Ain’t you gonna start preaching from there like a proper monk?”

“Not particularly.”

“Are you mocking us!?”

That’s strange, I thought they’d calm down if they saw Puria-san’s cute figure.

Maybe they just have no eye for it?

Our Puria-san is much cuter than any other pet.

“Are you angry?”

“Shut up! Just hand over the money already!”

“Yeah, yeah, or we can take that pet of yours instead. Never seen one like it, is it a rare breed? Where’d you catch it?”

“Agusta!”

That stupid bird answered cheerfully.

Even though I told her to stay quiet for now.

Am I your pet, you idiot?

Even though I’ll gladly be your nighttime pet anytime!

“Hey, just now.”

“Yeah, did this bird just…”

“It’s ventriloquism.”

“No, ’cause just now…”

“I’m telling you, it’s ventriloquism.”

“Ventriloquism?”

“Yes.”

“Then, do it one more time.”

After that, the ventriloquism I had casually mastered was a hit, and I managed to become friendly with the people in the tavern.

It all worked out in the end, but I’ll be sure to spank Puria-san’s bottom later.

And Tia-sama’s, while I’m at it.

Ah, even so.

I’m so glad I practiced with Wilson!

――――――――――

While engaging in idle chatter, the thug who had initially picked a fight with me provided an interesting topic.

“Come to think of it, you know the Hero’s companions are stationed in this city?”

“Hmph, a Hero. A Hero, huh. They sound like a shady bunch, but what kind of people are they?”

To be frank, I don’t know the details of what this “Hero’s party” that has become famous over the past few years is all about, but to me, they are the enemy.

If there are those who would draw their bows against my beloved Demon Lord, it wouldn’t hurt to gather information on them.

“The one stationed here right now is that bastard Abyss, the ‘Monstrous Strength’.”

“Going by the alias, he sounds like some hulking muscle-head.”

“Nah, it’s true his brute strength is his pride and joy, but his appearance is just your average pretty boy.”

“Hmm?”

“He looks like a mere greenhorn, but rumor has it he can shatter boulders with a single swing of his arm. He’s hunted down most of the monsters around this city, too. They’ll multiply again in a while, but for now, we’re out of a job.”

“Ah, I see, you were earning money by exterminating monsters.”

“There ain’t no place that’ll hire guys like us, after all. Because he showed up, business has completely dried up for us.”

“What exactly is a Hero, anyway?”

“What’s with you, nii-san, you’re pretty ignorant of the world for someone who’s been traveling.”

“Please call me a sheltered wanderer.”

“What the hell is that?”

“I wasn’t thrown in the slammer just a while ago for show, you know.”

“Hey, hey, you got a criminal record too!? That’s rich.”

The people around me were roaring with laughter, but well, I suppose a lot of the folks here also have criminal histories.

It’s not like I was arrested for a crime, though.

“I guess you wouldn’t know if you were in the slammer. The Hero is a brat who was found a few years ago by the High Priest of Seneca through some divine revelation, and he’s supposedly monstrously strong. And so, when the time comes, they’re planning on having him lead the charge to subjugate the Demon Lord and the demons.”

They had casually assumed I’d been locked up for a long time, but correcting them would be a pain, so whatever.

Still sounds shady. What’s a divine revelation? If there was someone saying they could hear the voice of God, I’d recommend them to a hospital without hesitation.

“Are you really a monk? You definitely can’t use spellcraft, right?”

“If you want, I can pray for you. Right now, I can offer my services for twenty gold.”

“Hah, that kinda worldly greed is just like a monk from this dump.”

He laughed at me, saying that.

If he’s talking like that, does that mean Farmer-san, who looks so kind, is also worldly?

“So anyway, that bastard Abyss is one of them, but the Hero’s companions… they’re called Apostles. They’re combat elites gathered from all over to subjugate the Demon Lord alongside the Hero. They’re all supposed to be Salia Cultists, though.”

“Well, if the Hero is in that position, I suppose that makes sense. Or rather, they probably just picked them up from within the Salia Cult’s sphere of influence.”

“That part’s probably just the intention of the higher-ups in Seneca. So, those guys take on monster subjugation requests in place of training, to prepare for when the time comes.”

Wow, I thought honestly.

I’ve been wandering the world for the seven years since I left Tia-sama’s side, but as a mere chore boy for a slave trader, I didn’t get much information. So, getting to know the world in this way feels rather fresh.

Well, perhaps there were more interesting things than knowing the world, so I never looked around.

Taking care of slaves was incredibly interesting and educational.

Ah, maybe.

It might have been ten years since I last talked to humans for this long.

Conversation with slaves was forbidden.

Ahaha, maybe this is a little fun. Maybe.

Because my life has been nothing but talking to myself. Was I… lonely?

What did I just think? Was it my imagination?

—Nine, hey, more importantly than that. It’s gotten pretty late. Shouldn’t you be heading back soon?—

Ah, yes, yes. Understood, understood. Jeez, Tia-sama will always treat me like a child no matter how much time passes.

“Well then, I should be taking my leave soon.”

“What, you’re heading back already?”

“To go suck on mommy’s tits, you see. After all, my mommy’s are plump and bouncy.”

“Hahaha, well, I can’t stop you then.”

My current mommy is a cute little puppy dog with flowers for brains, you see.

I have to hurry back to Agusta and love her, after all.

“Would you like to try sucking on mine, if you want?”

“You’re the worst! You definitely ain’t a monk!”

Leaving that punchline behind, I headed back to the church.

I wouldn’t want my first time to be with a man, anyway.

I’ve already decided to offer my virginity to the Demon Lord.