Chapter 19 – My New Minion Treats Baking Like a Sci-Fi Black Op (And My Childhood Friend is Holding a Knife)

The sticky sourdough clung desperately to my calloused fingers. The massive stainless steel kitchen hummed with expensive crystal magic. Bright morning sunlight reflected blindingly off the polished marble counters. The giant indoor waterfall roared loudly in the luxurious living room behind us.

“I need exactly four hundred grams of premium white flour.”

Elara rushed forward with blinding, unnecessary tactical speed.

“I will initiate the primary dry ingredient extraction protocol.”

She grabbed a heavy paper bag of flour from the pristine upper cabinet.

“Just pour it slowly onto the digital kitchen scale.”

“Standard commercial kitchen scales lack the necessary micro-calibration for elite work.”

She pulled a small, glowing metallic disc from her greasy pocket.

“What is that weird, glowing alien thing?”

“It is an anti-gravity molecular mass scanner.”

She placed the glowing disc directly onto the cold marble counter.

“Please do not use alien technology on my basic baking supplies.”

“It is accurate to a single microscopic molecular fraction.”

She poured a massive mound of white flour directly over the glowing disc. The white powder floated exactly two inches in the air inside a blue forcefield.

“That is incredibly cool but unnecessary for making bread.”

“You currently possess exactly three hundred and ninety-nine grams.”

I grabbed a tiny pinch of flour and tossed it into the floating blue field.

“Mass is now perfectly optimal for the initial hydration phase.”

“You are taking this basic recipe way too seriously right now.”

“I am the ultimate and useful S-Rank academic assistant.”

She deactivated the floating field with a sharp click. The perfect mound of white flour dropped neatly into my large glass bowl.

“Thank you for the accurate flour measurement.”

“I live exclusively to serve your supreme academic goals.”

The ambient temperature in the kitchen suddenly plummeted well below freezing.

“You are standing exactly one inch too close to his beautiful shoulder.”

Sakura sat perched gracefully on a tall metal stool across the counter.

“I am merely maintaining the required operational proximity.”

“I will maintain your severed head on a decorative wooden spike.”

Sakura pulled a solid silver throwing knife from her pristine uniform skirt.

“Please put the lethal throwing weapons away right now.”

“I am simply performing routine weapon maintenance, my perfect Dylan.”

She dragged a small gray whetstone slowly along the sharp silver edge. The harsh metallic scraping noise echoed loudly over the rushing waterfall.

“You do not need to sharpen a knife in the middle of a bakery.”

“A true royal princess must always be prepared for sudden pest control. I must carefully inspect the white powder for toxic agents.”

She glared directly at Elara with glowing, unhinged crimson eyes. Sakura hopped off the metal stool and walked gracefully toward my glass bowl.

“It is just basic wheat flour from the school pantry.”

“The dark forces frequently use poisoned flour to assassinate golden kings.”

“I am not a golden king.”

Sakura dipped her pale finger directly into the white powder and tasted it.

“The biological substance is pure and safe for your consumption.”

“Thank you for the unnecessary royal poison check.”

“I will always put my fragile life on the line for your safety.”

She smiled a beautifully sweet, terrifying smile.

“Now I need to add the warm water and the active yeast.”

I poured the cloudy liquid directly into the center of the flour mound.

“I am rapidly losing the structural gluten integrity.”

Elara spun around quickly from the massive metal sink.

“I can stabilize the biological matrix for you.”

She pulled a pair of heavy black tactical goggles over her short blue hair.

“It is just wet flour and warm water.”

She tapped a glowing green button on the side of her dark goggles.

“Negative.”

A bright red laser grid shot out from the thick glass lenses. The advanced laser scanned the large glass bowl completely.

“You are pointing a military laser directly at my delicate yeast.”

“I am currently reading a critical thermal fluctuation in the core mass.”

I pushed my bare hands deeper into the sticky, wet dough.

“The kitchen is just a little bit warm today.”

She reached deep into her dirty denim overalls. She pulled out a shiny silver metallic cylinder.

“What is that weird metal thing?”

“It is a calibrated thermal diagnostic wand.”

She pointed the metallic wand directly at my glass mixing bowl.

“Please do not radiate my future bread with strange alien technology.”

“The yeast fermentation cycle is twelve seconds away from total cellular collapse.”

I grabbed my cheap plastic dough scraper in absolute panic.

“I need to fold the outer edges immediately.”

“Angle your left wrist exactly four degrees higher for optimal tension distribution.”

I adjusted my grip quickly. I folded the heavy dough entirely over itself.

“Like this?”

“Your structural application is flawless.”

I let out a long, deeply relieved breath of warm air.

“The yeast actually looks a lot happier now.”

“I have successfully averted a biological meltdown.”

She pushed the heavy tactical goggles up onto her sweaty forehead. I wiped my own sweaty brow with my upper arm.

“You are actually incredibly good at this weird science stuff.”

“Baking is just a primitive form of chemical engineering.”

I smiled a genuine, relieved smile.

“A sci-fi nerd makes a surprisingly good sous-chef.”

She stood perfectly straight and snapped a crisp military salute.

“I am honored to serve as your elite culinary operative.”

“If you salute him one more time, I will chop off your entire arm.”

Sakura leaned heavily against the cold marble counter.

“I am required to show proper military respect to the supreme commander.”

“He is not a commander. He is the absolute master of this entire golden luxury dorm. He is my exclusive and personal property.”

I stretched the heavy dough one last time to form a perfect round ball.

“Now I just need to cut the premium sweet butter.”

“I will execute the butter division protocol.”

Elara grabbed a clean kitchen knife from the polished marble counter.

“If you touch his imported butter, I will cut off your dirty fingers.”

Sakura twirled her silver blade effortlessly between her delicate hands.

“The butter requires exact geometrical division for proper pastry lamination.”

“I will mathematically divide your blue hair from your stupid scalp.”

“Sakura, you have to chill out this exact second. You are radiating intense killing intent.”

“I am entirely calm and reasonable right now. I am radiating pure, unadulterated true love for you.”

Elara raised her kitchen knife and approached the block of cold butter.

“I require exactly two feet of clear operational space to proceed.”

“If you step within two feet of my Dylan, you will definitely die.”

Sakura took an aggressive step toward the terrified mechanic.

“I am officially stepping back again.”

Elara retreated quickly toward the massive stainless steel sink.

“This kitchen standoff is ruining my peaceful baking vibe.”

“I am actively protecting your peaceful vibe from terrible mechanical trash.”

“I am a highly skilled S-Rank operative.”

“You are a broken toy sitting in my personal kingdom. This commercial-grade baking oven is incredibly spacious.”

Sakura traced the sharp edge of her silver knife with a pale finger.

“It is designed for large batches of artisan bread.”

“It looks perfectly sized to incinerate a human body.”

I stopped breathing completely for two agonizing seconds.

“We are not incinerating any students in my shiny new oven.”

“The high thermal oven output would leave zero physical evidence.”

“That is a specific and illegal threat.”

“I am just making a casual observation about the excellent kitchen appliances.”

She leaned over the marble counter and stared directly at Elara. Elara gripped her normal kitchen knife with violently shaking hands.

“My structural integrity is failing.”

“Your structural integrity is pathetic.”

“Can everyone please just stop talking about murder for five minutes? I will cut the stupid butter myself.”

I grabbed the kitchen knife directly from Elara’s trembling hand.

“You should not have to perform manual labor while the servant stands there.”

“Baking is the only manual labor I actually enjoy doing.”

I sliced the cold premium butter into perfectly even, thick squares.

“Your knife technique is flawless and incredibly handsome.”

“Please do not compliment my basic butter slicing skills.”

“I will praise every microscopic thing you do.”

Sakura wrapped her thin arm tightly around my average bicep.

“You are standing entirely too close to me while I hold a sharp knife.”

“I trust you with my physical life.”

She rested her soft chin perfectly on my aching shoulder.

“I am going to check the thermal oven output now.”

Elara practically sprinted away from us toward the massive industrial oven.

“The internal temperature is perfectly stable at exactly 180 degrees Celsius.”

“Thank you for the accurate temperature reading.”

“I am actively monitoring the ambient heat distribution grid.”

“She sounds exactly like a broken robotic toy.”

“She is just trying to be a useful academic assistant.”

“She is ruining our romantic, private kitchen date.”

“This is not a private romantic date.”

I placed the perfectly cut butter squares onto a chilled metal tray.

“Every single second I spend with you is a glorious romantic date.”

She squeezed my trapped arm with terrifying, unyielding strength.

“I need to score the top of the artisan loaf now.”

I grabbed a specialized, extremely sharp baker’s razor.

“I will eliminate any targets you point that tiny blade at.”

“I am only pointing this blade at the wet dough.”

I dragged the razor quickly across the smooth top of the heavy dough. I cut a perfect, decorative wheat stalk pattern into the surface.

“The structural scoring pattern is mathematically perfect. It allows the hot steam to escape evenly during the intense baking process.”

Elara adjusted her heavy tactical goggles from across the wide kitchen.

“You are an absolute genius of culinary thermodynamics.”

“I am just following a basic baking recipe.”

I lifted the heavy glass bowl and transferred the dough to a baking stone.

“The target is fully prepped for immediate thermal insertion.”

“Please stop calling my beautiful bread a target.”

I walked carefully toward the massive commercial-grade oven. Sakura followed me closely. She was still permanently glued to my left side.

“Open the heavy metal door for me, please.”

Elara grabbed the thick metal handle. She pulled the heavy oven door wide open. A massive wave of intense, wonderful heat washed over my face. It smelled faintly of toasted flour and pure, unadulterated potential.

“Stepping back to a safe operational distance.”

Elara retreated quickly to avoid the burning hot air. I slid the heavy baking stone perfectly onto the center metal rack.

“The holy golden hearth accepts your beautiful and perfect sacrifice.”

Sakura whispered the creepy statement directly into my right ear.

“It is just a loaf of bread, not a weird magical sacrifice.”

I closed the heavy oven door with a loud, satisfying metallic clank. I let out a long, deeply exhausted sigh of pure relief. The stressful preparation phase was finally over.

“Now we just have to wait for exactly forty-five minutes.”

“I will fiercely guard the oven door from any potential saboteurs.”

Sakura turned around and glared violently at the terrified mechanic.

“I am not going to sabotage the primary culinary objective.”

Elara raised both of her hands in a desperate gesture of peace.

“If the bread burns, you will definitely burn.”

“The digital thermostat is self-regulating.”

“Your pathetic excuses mean nothing to my silver blades.”

I rubbed my tired eyes with my flour-stained knuckles. My quiet, peaceful baking life was gone forever. I was officially staffed by a paranoid sci-fi mecha pilot. I was also chained to an overly-attached yandere assassin.

“You guys are going to be the death of me.”

“I will murder anyone who tries to bring you death.”

Sakura smiled her deeply sweet, unhinged smile again. I just stared blindly at the glowing digital numbers on the massive oven. I really wished I was just a normal baker right now.