Chapter 48 – The Hammer Returns and the Thunder’s Hangover

【Esdeath PoV】

I’ve dealt with gods before, plenty of them, contained half the Norse pantheon in my time as Deputy Warden. None of that prepared me for sitting across from Odin with my hands literally frozen to my own desk.

The Allfather sat in my office chair like he owned it, which technically he thought he did. One eye stared at me with the weight of eons, the empty socket covered by a leather patch that somehow made him more terrifying, not less. His ravens perched on my filing cabinets, shifting through classified documents with their beaks.

I couldn’t move my hands. Ice had crept up from the desk surface, my own power turned against me by whatever binding rune he’d carved into the wood when I wasn’t looking.

Humiliating.

“Let us review the terms of the Interdimensional Accord, Section Seven, Subsection Four.”

Odin’s voice was dry, bureaucratic, each word precisely measured. He pulled reading glasses from his cloak and balanced them on his nose, a gesture so absurdly human it would’ve been funny if I wasn’t literally chained to furniture.

“Detained entities retain the right to familial visitation within a seventy-two hour notification window. Your facility has held my daughter for six months without a single contact.”

“Loki isn’t your daughter, she’s your—”

“Adopted daughter. Legally recognized under Asgardian law. Are you discriminating based on adoption status, Deputy Warden?”

He said it so smoothly, twisting my words before they’d even fully left my mouth. This was a trap, every word a landmine, every response ammunition for whatever political game he was playing.

Behind him, Thor stumbled into a bookshelf. Again. Third time in ten minutes. The whole thing rattled, my awards and commendations threatening to crash to the floor.

“Whoops! Sorry, Ice Queen! Your office is so… small. And spinny. Why’s it spinning?”

He wasn’t drunk. Technically. He was hungover, which was somehow worse. His red eyes and the way he kept wincing at normal volume sounds betrayed the previous night’s excessive drinking. His armor smelled like mead and something that might have been vomit.

He also wouldn’t stop staring at my chest.

“Your hair is so white. Is that natural? Can I touch it?”

“No.”

“But it looks so soft! Like fresh snow! I love snow!”

He reached toward me with one massive hand. I leaned back as far as the ice binding allowed, which wasn’t far.

“Thor. Sit down.”

Odin’s command came without raising his voice. Thor dropped into the chair next to his father immediately, the furniture groaning under his weight.

“Sorry, Father. Just making conversation. Appreciating the local… scenery.”

He winked at me. Actually winked. Like this was a bar and not an interrogation.

I turned my attention back to Odin, trying to maintain some shred of professional dignity.

“Loki is free to receive visitors during designated hours. The fact that no one has visited is not our fault.”

“You failed to notify us of her containment.”

“We notified all relevant pantheons through the standard channels.”

“Asgard received no such notification.”

“Then your mail system needs improvement.”

His eye narrowed. The ravens stopped rifling through papers, both turning to stare at me with intelligent, malevolent focus.

“Are you suggesting Asgard’s communication infrastructure is inadequate?”

That was bait. I didn’t take it.

“I’m suggesting that proper notification was sent. If it didn’t arrive, that’s not a facility failure.”

“Yet my daughter remains imprisoned.”

“Your daughter violated seventeen international laws and three laws of physics. She’s lucky we have a containment cell instead of a black site.”

Thor perked up, swaying slightly in his chair.

“Black site sounds fun! Is it actually black? Or is that a metaphor? I never understand metaphors before noon.”

He pulled a flask from his belt and took a long drink. The smell of alcohol intensified.

“It’s past noon, Thor.”

Odin’s voice was cold enough to match my ice.

“Is it? Time is weird here. Everything’s weird here. You know what’s not weird? This beautiful woman’s face. Have I mentioned her face, Father? Very symmetrical. Great bone structure.”

“Multiple times.”

“Just making sure she knows she’s appreciated.”

Thor leaned toward me again, his breath a weapon of mass destruction.

“You ever been to Asgard, Ice Queen? I could show you around. We have this great mead hall, and the battles are legendary, and I have a very large… palace.”

The pause before “palace” was intentional and disgusting.

“I’m not interested.”

“You say that now, but wait until you see my—”

A raven cawed loudly, cutting off whatever Thor was about to say. Thank the gods for small mercies.

Odin pulled a glowing rune stone from his pocket, reading whatever message had appeared on its surface. His expression didn’t change, which somehow made it worse. A god showing emotion was predictable. A god going completely neutral was terrifying.

“It seems there’s been a development.”

He stood, robes sweeping dramatically. The ice binding my hands cracked and released. I pulled them back immediately, rubbing feeling back into my fingers.

“A development?”

“Mjölnir has been located. It was in Thor’s quarters on Asgard. Safely secured in his bedroom, where it had apparently been for the past three days.”

Silence fell over the office. I processed that information, running through the timeline. Three days ago was when Thalia had been allowed her extended recreation period with Kai. Three days ago was when the hammer had supposedly been stolen.

“So it wasn’t stolen.”

“So it appears.”

Odin’s voice gave nothing away. He wasn’t embarrassed, wasn’t apologetic, wasn’t anything. Just stating facts with the emotional investment of someone reading a phone book.

Thor blinked slowly, confusion spreading across his face.

“Wait. My hammer was home? I’ve been upset for nothing?”

“You’ve been upset for political leverage.”

Odin said it so casually, like using his son’s emotions as a diplomatic weapon was just another Tuesday activity.

“Then… we can go?”

“We are not leaving.”

The temperature dropped. Not my power, his. The Allfather’s presence pressed down on the room like a physical weight.

“This facility’s chaotic aura confused Mjölnir’s tracking enchantment. That represents a fundamental security flaw that could have led to genuine theft. Additionally, my son has suffered three days of emotional distress believing his weapon was stolen.”

I stared at him.

“You’re blaming us for your tracking system failing.”

“I’m identifying a facility liability that requires compensation.”

“Compensation.”

I repeated the word, unable to believe what I was hearing.

“Emotional damages for distress caused. Administrative fines for the confusion. And a formal apology from your Head Warden for the inconvenience.”

This was insane. This was bureaucratic gaslighting on a cosmic scale. He’d barged into my office, restrained me with magic, and now wanted me to apologize for his son’s hammer being exactly where Thor had left it.

“We did nothing wrong.”

“You created an environment that disrupted divine artifacts. That’s negligence.”

“That’s existing. Reality is disrupted here, that’s the entire purpose of the facility.”

“Then perhaps the facility requires additional oversight. Asgardian oversight.”

There it was. The real play. He didn’t care about Loki, didn’t care about the hammer. He wanted political leverage, wanted a foot in the door for controlling how we managed interdimensional threats.

If I fought this physically, Asgard had grounds for retaliation. If I fought this legally, Odin would twist every word into ammunition for his case.

I was checkmated and we both knew it.

Thor stood up, wobbling slightly.

“Father, can we please just go? My head hurts and the Ice Queen isn’t interested in my palace and I really just want to sleep for like a week.”

“We’ll leave when proper reparations are agreed upon.”

Odin turned that single eye back to me.

“Unless the Deputy Warden would prefer to escalate this to the full Council?”

The threat was clear. Take the loss quietly or drag this out publicly where Asgard’s political weight could crush us.

I took a breath. Held it. Released it slowly.

“What exactly are you asking for?”

A smile crossed his face, thin and cold.

“Nothing unreasonable, I assure you. Simply a formal acknowledgment of the facility’s role in this incident, a pledge to improve security measures, and perhaps… a small adjustment to Loki’s containment privileges.”

“What kind of adjustment?”

“Extended visitation. Expanded recreational access. Nothing that compromises security.”

Everything that gave Asgard more influence over our operations, in other words.

I wanted to flip the desk. Wanted to freeze both of them solid and deal with the diplomatic fallout later. Wanted to call Kai and have him use that terrifying voice to make them both leave.

Instead I smiled. Professional. Cold. Every inch the Ice Queen Thor kept calling me.

“I’ll take your requests to the Warden. He’ll make the final decision.”

“Of course. I look forward to his response.”

Odin gestured and the ravens took flight, swooping out through my window that hadn’t been open a second ago. Thor stumbled after his father, pausing at the door to look back at me.

“Seriously though, if you change your mind about Asgard, I know this great blacksmith who makes amazing jewelry. I could commission something. Maybe a ring?”

“Goodbye, Thor.”

“Playing hard to get! I respect that! Very warrior-like!”

He finally left, his heavy footsteps echoing down the hallway.

I sat in my chair and stared at the mess they’d left. Papers scattered, ice still clinging to my desk, the lingering smell of mead and divine arrogance.

I pulled out my phone and dialed Kai’s number.

It went straight to voicemail.

Of course it did. The one time I actually needed the man, he was probably being worshipped somewhere or dealing with his own cosmic drama.

I hung up and dropped my head onto the desk.

This job was going to kill me.