Chapter 38 – Get in Loser, We’re Going on a Date

【Loki’s POV】

Checkmate.

I stood on Kai’s sad little lawn, staring at his sad little house with its peeling paint and crooked porch. The pieces had fallen exactly where I wanted them. Sarah was trapped in a pocket dimension doing whatever void entities did when they got bored. Thalia was pinned under Mjölnir, probably still screaming about worthiness. Esdeath was drowning in bureaucratic paperwork that would take her actual months to complete.​

And the humans had blockaded every road with tanks and religious fervor.

Nobody was coming to save him.

Nobody except me.

I grinned at the empty street, feeling victory settle into my bones like expensive wine. This was what happened when you played the long game, when you thought seven moves ahead while everyone else was still figuring out which piece to move first.

The cult blockade kept everyone out but it wouldn’t stop me. I could walk through dimensions like they were doorways. Physical barriers meant nothing to someone who could rewrite the concept of inside versus outside.

But Kai didn’t need to know that.

Kai needed to think I was his only option, his hero, his salvation from the chaos surrounding him.

I looked down at my usual outfit, the ripped jeans and band t-shirt. Too casual, too familiar. I needed something that would throw him off balance, make him see me differently.

Something dangerous but approachable.

I let reality shift around me, rewriting my appearance with casual ease. The jeans morphed into a pleated skirt, black and just short enough to be distracting. My t-shirt became a white button-up, slightly oversized, the top two buttons undone. I added a loose tie, hanging askew like I’d been in a hurry.

School uniform aesthetic, but disheveled. The girl-next-door who just survived something dramatic.

I messed up my hair, making it look windswept and natural. Added a slight flush to my cheeks, made my eyes look wider, more vulnerable.

Perfect.

I walked up the steps, each one creaking under my weight. The porch listed to the left, probably had for years. I raised my fist and knocked, three sharp raps that echoed through the quiet afternoon.​

Silence.

I knocked again, harder this time.

“Kai! Kai, please open up!”

I made my voice higher, breathless, like I’d been running.

Footsteps inside, heavy and tired. The kind of walking that suggested someone who really didn’t want to deal with more chaos today.

The door opened.

Kai stood there in his hoodie and jeans, looking exhausted and confused. His hair was messy, probably from the steering wheel earlier. His eyes scanned me, taking in the outfit, clearly trying to figure out what fresh hell this was.

“Loki.”

“Oh thank god you’re here!”

I threw myself forward, grabbing his arm with both hands. He stumbled back half a step, caught off guard by the sudden contact.

“Whoa, hey—”

“My family, Kai! My insane family is attacking the facility!”

His expression shifted from confused to alarmed.

“What?”

I pulled him slightly, tugging him toward the doorway like I was trying to get him to come outside.

“Thor showed up looking for his hammer! He destroyed half of Sector Command! And then Odin appeared and he’s suing everyone for divine rights violations!”

Technically all true. I just left out the part where I orchestrated every single detail.

Kai’s alarm turned into resignation.

“Of course he is.”

“It’s not safe! The whole facility is falling apart! Esdeath is trapped in her office and Thalia’s sector went dark and nobody knows what’s happening!”

I let my voice crack slightly, adding genuine-sounding fear into the mix.

Kai ran a hand through his hair, the gesture tired.

“So you came here.”

“Where else was I supposed to go? You’re the only one who can handle this kind of mess!”

I squeezed his arm, looking up at him with wide eyes.

“And the cult blockade, Kai! There are tanks everywhere! Armed guards! I barely got through using dimensional shortcuts!”

He looked past me toward the street, probably remembering the checkpoint he’d encountered earlier.

“Yeah, Elizabeth went full fanatic. Something about Asgardian invaders.”

I gasped, making it dramatic and shocked.

“That’s my fault! She must have heard about Thor and assumed the worst!”

Not exactly wrong. She did assume the worst. I just helped her assume it in a very specific direction.

Kai sighed, the sound deep and defeated.

“This is a disaster.”

“I know! That’s why we need to leave!”

He looked at me like I’d suggested we fly to the moon.

“Leave.”

“Yes! Get out of here before it gets worse!”

I gestured wildly toward his VW in the driveway.

“I know a route, Kai! A back road the cultists haven’t blocked yet! We can get away from all of this!”

He stared at me for a long moment, clearly trying to figure out if this was another trick.

Smart boy.

Too bad he was also desperate and tired.

“Why would you help me escape?”

I softened my expression, going for genuine and vulnerable.

“Because you’re the only person in that entire facility who treats me like I’m not a monster, Kai. You play games with me. You talk to me like I’m a person. You’re nice.”

All true, actually. That was the beauty of good manipulation, wrapping lies in genuine emotion.​

“And honestly? I don’t want to be there when Thor and Odin level the whole place looking for me.”

Kai rubbed his face, thinking it through.

I could practically see his brain working, weighing options. Stay here and hide from the chaos, or leave with me and potentially escape the religious blockade.

“Where would we even go?”

“I don’t know! Anywhere but here! A diner, a park, literally anywhere that doesn’t have armed cultists or angry thunder gods!”

I tugged his arm again, gentler this time.

“Please, Kai? I promise I’ll behave. No tricks, no games. Just two people getting away from the absolute insanity for a few hours.”

He looked at his house, then at me, then at his car.

I could see the exact moment he made the decision, his shoulders dropping in resignation.

“Fine. But if this is a trick—”

“It’s not! I swear!”

Total lie, but he didn’t need to know that yet.

He grabbed his keys from inside, locked the door behind him, and headed for the car.

I followed, keeping my expression grateful and relieved.

He unlocked the passenger door for me, gentlemanly despite everything.

I slid into the seat, adjusting the skirt so it rode up just slightly. Nothing inappropriate, just enough to be noticeable.

Kai got in the driver’s side, starting the engine on the second try.

“Which way?”

“Head toward the old industrial district. There’s a service road the military wouldn’t think to block.”

He pulled out of the driveway, turning away from the main highway.

I settled into the seat, letting a small smile play across my lips.

The board was clear. The pieces were removed. And I had Kai all to myself in a car headed away from anyone who could interfere.

No Thalia to freeze everything. No Esdeath to impose order. No Sarah to create dream prisons. No facility personnel to interrupt.

Just me and Kai and whatever chaos I decided to create next.

This was exactly what victory looked like.

I glanced at him as he drove, his expression focused on the road.

He had no idea this was all part of the plan. He thought he was escaping. He thought I was helping him.

By the time he figured out the truth, we’d be miles away and it would be too late to turn back.

The False Ragnarök had begun and I’d already won.

I leaned back in the seat, watching the houses pass by through the window.

“Thanks for trusting me, Kai.”

He grunted, eyes on the road.

“Don’t make me regret it.”

I smiled wider, turning to look at him fully.

“I would never.”

Liar, liar, pants on fire.

But he didn’t need to know that yet.

The VW rattled down the street, heading for the industrial district and the secret route I’d scouted yesterday specifically for this moment.

Everything was falling into place.

I’d removed every obstacle, orchestrated every crisis, manipulated every piece until the only option left was exactly what I wanted.

Kai alone in a car with me, driving away from everyone who might stop whatever came next.

The goddess of mischief strikes again.

I settled deeper into the passenger seat, already planning the next seven moves.

This was going to be so much fun.