Chapter 43: Saint of Holy Smite, Marianne Highrendine 2

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I’m being tailed.

I had been wandering through the shops, thinking I would do some shopping on my way back from the church, but I felt like I was being watched. But it wasn’t hostility… What was it?

I had even deliberately created openings, inviting them to pick a moment to harm me, but they didn’t take the bait. Was it just surveillance? I couldn’t sense Astrea or Alicia-san’s wind, so it wasn’t related to them. A grudge… something involving the nobility? But that incident seemed to have been dealt with, so I didn’t think they would come after me.

I heard that the family who had aided in the assassination attempt on Her Highness had been executed, and everyone connected to the household had been reduced to slavery. It was cruel, but it couldn’t be helped. They were lucky they weren’t killed on the spot for laying hands on royalty. If my delusions about Her Highness ever came out into the open, it would be a choice between slavery or execution for me too. No, what I was really doing was truly disrespectful. That was why I was so careful to make sure it never surfaced.

Besides, thinking about it normally, fantasizing about a woman you know was creepy. If it got out, it would be over for me. Being a masochistic was just a fetish of mine. I didn’t want to throw my life away just for that.

『Don’t you want Her Highness to find out and call you disgusting from the bottom of her heart?』

I mean, if that happens, I guess?

It would depend on whether I was already past the point of no return, but if it was truly over, I thought I’d choose the method that would make me feel the best possible at the end. You could call it desperation. 

Your Highness! Watch me convulse in pleasure as you insult me! Aaah! I’m getting excited! Forgive me, Your Highness, for firing the Cannon of Disrespect! 

And that day, a white rainbow arced across the sky… The heroic figure of a Gold-rank adventurer was etched into the hearts of the royal capital’s people…

『Gross.』

“Huh? Finn-san. What a coincidence.”

Dark Marianne!

S-she’s finally appeared in reality…

………….

No, that was the real Marianne. She wasn’t wearing her usual priestess robes but casual clothes, so it took me a moment to recognize her.

“Yeah. What about you? Are you out shopping?”

“Yes. I have the day off today, and I need to buy ingredients for dinner.”

“I see. Mind if I come along?”

“Is that alright?”

“I don’t have anything else to do. If I’m in the way, I’ll head back…”

“Not at all! Please!”

Hmm, Marianne really was a saint. There was no way a girl this cute, with such a radiant smile, had any darkness in her. As I thought, Dark Marianne was just my delusion.

A dark personality I had created inside my head… How sinful was that… Wasn’t it practically the same as creating a whole new person? A power of imagination rivaling a goddess! The tragedy born from the crushing sin of being both a masochist and a virgin…!

If only I had at least lost my virginity, maybe it wouldn’t have turned out like this. But I was a virgin. I tried to satisfy only the masochistic part of me while staying a virgin. If one gear had been different, would I have been able to lose it? Be abandoned by my companions in disgust, or lose my virginity and hang around with men?

…There was no answer.

“The weather is nice today.”

“On days like this, it’s best to just lie around. Soak up the sun indoors where it’s warm. That alone makes you happy.”

“Hehe… when we get back, shall we lie down?”

“Not a bad idea.”

Hehe, we’d frolic around together. There was nothing to agonize over!  A life of frequenting brothels with a bunch of sweaty guys would be crap! Over here, I had such a cute saint who affirmed me. That was more precious than losing my virginity.

Virginity? Hmph, who cared… I had a dark personality in my head who insulted me, and companions in reality who lived alongside me. Whether or not I’d had sex wasn’t a measure that could define me.

『Gross Masochist Virgin-san, aren’t you just being a sore loser?』

Uuugh!! Uu—! Uuu—!! Auh!!

“More importantly, Finn-san. Um…”

“What is it?”

“No, ah… um…”

Rarely fidgeting and unable to speak clearly, Marianne hesitated before slowly taking a deep breath and saying,

“Um… I wanted to ask again about your relationship with Arianrod-san…”

“…We’re just childhood friends.”

“B-but you looked closer than that! W-w-w-what is it really!?”

“Eh… it’s nothing more and nothing less…”

What surprised me was that she didn’t think of me as nothing special. She talked about going on dates. She seemed strangely used to men, and she said she liked me so casually.

The more I thought about it, the more it seemed like she had been playing around with men, using that beautiful girl look of hers…! She understood that if you told a virgin you liked him, he’d fall for you instantly! There was no mistake! The innocent Aria had become a femme fatale!

Uuugh, my childhood friend who had once been so pure…! Used to men and fooling around…! She never did anything like that with me…! Uuuugh, I’ve been cuckolded!! Even though I met her first!! If she had invited me straight to bed like that, even I would have been in danger…

Of course, I’d prioritize 【Dawn】, but in the end, I was still a virgin.

If she had invited me to lose my virginity and live together, saying she’d support me, I was confident I would have fallen instantly. I was just that easy. Honestly, could any guy resist if his busty, beautiful childhood friend said that? The fact that I endured back there was what made me a virgin, and what made me a shield-bearer.

…Was that really a good thing?

『It is a good thing, Finn-san.』

I see… If Marianne said so, then it must be.

I was alive like this now as a shield because I was a virgin.

“Is that true? Swear to God?”

“Y-yeah. I swear to God.”

Hey, why did Marianne’s eyes look scary!? They were intense! She looked like my master the other day! Help, Dark Marianne! The real Marianne was turning dark!!

『That’ll teach you.』

Which is it…!? Dark!? Light!? Is the real Marianne dark!? No! That couldn’t be! Marianne is divinely good!

“…………Phew. Then, I’m glad.”

………….

Hey, could it be that Marianne liked me? Right??  At this point, she obviously liked me. Otherwise she wouldn’t ask something like that just because my childhood friend showed up. Even I could tell that much. I prided myself on being normal, aside from the masochistic part.

“You thought I’d be taken away?”

“…Yes. I can’t imagine Finn-san not being there.”

H-hey hey hey, wasn’t that basically a confession!?

Dark Marianne! Give me the go-ahead!

I’ll marry the saint like this, lose my virginity, and have her do SM play with me every night!

『You really are a pervert, Finn-san…♡』

 Saint by day, sex saint by night, the staff gripped in Marianne’s hand pierced sharply into my rectum. As I writhed in pain and the strange sensation of my organs lifting, she gazed at me with a rapturous expression and said, 『So reliable, and yet so cute♡.』 Eventually, the passionate activities of the two of us became known to Carla and Astrea, and every night in the royal capital’s prime district echoed with the moans of a man toyed with endlessly by a swordmaster, a saint, and a high elf princess…

“A-ah, um, that’s not what I meant. I meant as a party member! If you weren’t there, I’d be troubled,  you know?”

………….

I’m trash. A delusional virgin piece of crap and a masochistic scumbag.

Yeah, I knew. I knew that, and yet I let myself hope. If possible, I wanted everyone in 【Dawn】 to like me… I didn’t want them to end up with other men… I wanted them to do lewd things… I wanted to be whipped… Those desires were why I had such ugly fantasies.

Marianne likes me as a man? Heh, don’t joke.

What she was worried about was 【Dawn】. Of course, she cared about me appropriately as well. But that didn’t mean she liked me as a man. There were feelings between men and women other than sexual desire.

Unlike a gross hardcore masochistic virgin like me…. I was different from her in every way—me, who could only think about being a masochist or a sadist.

“I know. My place is with 【Dawn】. I’m not going anywhere.”

“…Finn-san…”

They gave someone like me a place to belong. That fact alone made me happy. Even if they looked down on me, I didn’t mind. Because this was my place.

If I lost this, I’d die. Rabbits die of loneliness, you know. Think of me as a pet and dote on me. A collar? Yes! I’ll wear it! Food? Yes! I’ll eat it! Hand-fed is the best! Tastes twice as good!

『Tch… You chickened out.』

Huh? About becoming a rabbit?

“Ugh… w-why didn’t I say it…!?”

“…? Did you have something you wanted to say?”

“N-n-no, nothing! The weather is nice today, right!?”

“!?”

“O-over there—i-it’s nice weather, isn’t it!”

“Y-yeah. It’s nice weather…”

“…………”

“…………”

Uh, was Marianne kind of tired? Maybe it made sense that Master told her to rest. She seemed scattered, like she’d forgotten the conversation we were just having.

『Wimp, coward, chicken bastard.』

Suddenly dessert!!?

“N-no… making a move on my own wouldn’t be right. Yes. That’s correct. I upheld the agreement.”

Staring into the distance, Marianne muttered to herself. Honestly, it was a little scary.

Dark Marianne suddenly called me a wimp… Say it more! Call me a spineless piece of trash! Alicia-san! I have no idea what Marianne is thinking, so please tell me!!

『Please stop.』

Ah, yes. Understood. If Dark Marianne said so, I’d stop.

Still, even after all this idle chatting, whoever was watching hadn’t made a move. What exactly was this presence after?

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I finally understood what Seraphine-sama meant when she said she couldn’t say it. A Gold-rank adventurer connected to 【Starry Sky】… I had thought it was impossible, but it was true.

The Gold-rank adventurer party 【Dawn】. I had heard there was a male shield in the party that Saint of Holy Smite, Marianne Highrendine-sama, belonged to. I never imagined that man was the one… Judging from their conversation, he and Marianne-sama seemed extremely close.

Two saints… And that kind of relationship? And on top of that, he fathered a child? And he didn’t acknowledge it? After engaging in lewd acts with a saint?

How disgusting…

My hand tightened. Hatred burned in my heart. I hated men without restraint. I loathed men who saw women as nothing more than tools. They shouldn’t exist. Like demons, they were beasts without reason.

“—!”

My body trembled. I remembered something unpleasant. When I had once gone to the battlefield as a Holy Knight, I had fallen into a trap and seen hell. I knew not all men were like that. Even so, that man—the one involved with multiple women—was evil. An unforgivable evil.

Why would they choose such a man…

Marianne-sama… Seraphine-sama… Are you truly content with that? I… cannot forgive it. That the two saints are being toyed with by a man like that…

─『Because this is the path I chose.』

Seraphine-sama’s words resurfaced. I suppressed the killing intent rising within me. I couldn’t act recklessly. There would be no meaning in targeting that man here and now. If I were to do it, it would at least have to look like an accident.

Make the death of a Gold-rank adventurer look like an accident? Honestly, it was a very difficult feat to achieve. Not to mention, I needed to consider the saints’ feelings as well. A difficult problem. I couldn’t act on my own…

…What should I do…?

My chest felt tightly constricted. My throat went dry, and sweat poured out. I wish I had never learned about this fact…  But I had. I had thrown myself into it… Into the vortex of saints fighting over a man.

If the worst comes to pass, even if I must use my own body…

I could not allow great chaos to befall us.

The sweat trickling down my forehead felt unbearably unpleasant.

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