I'm a Middle-Aged Man with No Degree or Job History Who Got Kicked Out of the Hero's Party. After I Started Crushing Them with My Power of Revenge, They Begged Me to Come Back, but There's No Way in Hell I'm Going Back - Chapter 22
Chapter 22: Reven the Avenger Takes Revenge on Behalf of a Cuckolded Man
In the quiet forest, monsters lived in peace.
As the monsters quietly attacked travelers and ravaged crops, a man appeared.
“Environmental destruction feels so goooood!”
Reven the Avenger equipped the “Fully Automatic Environmental Destruction Sword” in one hand—a weapon specialized in indiscriminate deforestation that he’d just picked up right there a moment ago.
The sword’s effect was specialized solely in destroying the environment, making it an incredibly convenient yet utterly obnoxious weapon for cutting down trees.
Thanks to the Environmental Destruction Sword’s effects, the monsters’ habitat was stripped completely bare.
“GRYYAAAAAAAAAA!?”
The intelligent monsters (like orcs) were shocked by the incomprehensibility of it all.
“Phew… this much deforestation should be enough to make a goblin field…”
With that, Reven pulled out a dying goblin from a basket.
Then he proceeded to bury goblins headfirst into the ground, one after another.
“GRYYAAAAAAAAAA (What are you doing)!?”
The orcs watching were stunned, but their appearance was spotted by a nearby gorilla-like monster.
“GRY (What is this disgusting freak)!?”
The gorilla-like monster grabbed an orc and snapped off its fangs.
“GYYAAAAAAAAAAAA!!”
“Uho! Ah-yeah! Ah-yeah!”
The monster was overjoyed watching the orc suffer.
“Shut the hell uuuuuup!! You’re making it hard for the goblins to grow!!”
WHAM!
Reven punched the gorilla-like monster away, as usual.
“Geez! ♡ Goblins are delicate crops, so you need to be quiet, o-kay? ♡”
He said this while resuming burying the goblins.
Watching this scene, Lumie said:
“What is that?”
To which Roaks replied:
“Beats me?”
“He said he was going to get revenge on some big shot in a hero party named Bow, so what’s he trying to do, that old dude?”
“Beats me?”
As Roaks said this, Flam brought over lunch.
“Come on, it’s not good to just talk about depressing stuff.”
With that, Flam placed omurice for everyone on the table.
“What’s this?”
“I made it. Want to eat together, everyone?”
Lumie was a bit surprised by those words.
“I know it’s a bit late to ask, but are you really a princess, Flam?”
“? I am, though?”
Flam answered with a puzzled look.
“I mean, rumor has it you’re ‘the princess of the Serenade Kingdom who can use summoning magic,’ but I’ve never seen you use summoning magic, and you came to this town all by yourself, so I was just wondering if it’s really true.”
“Oh, that. The summoning magic we princesses of the Serenade Kingdom use is a bit special.”
“What do you mean?”
Flam made a somewhat troubled expression, then answered vaguely:
“Eventually, okay?”
After answering only that, she sat down in a chair.
“Looks delicious!!”
“Roaks, not everyone’s here yet.”
Flam gently admonished Roaks, who was about to start eating ahead of everyone.
“Huh, so how’d you make this!?”
“Oh, well, you see…”
With those words, an eraser with arms and legs sprouted from the grass.
“All Delete!!”
Probably one of the monsters driven from its habitat.
The eraser appeared before Reven, who was in the middle of burying goblins.
Seeing the eraser, Reven drew his swords.
“This bastard!! Came to steal my goblins!! Take this—Baakaho Two-Sword Style Secret Technique: ‘The Foundation of Cooking Starts with Eggs’!!”
With that, Reven slashed the eraser with both swords.
“Kneaded eraser!!”
The eraser saw its life flash before its eyes before the cooking class «torture» could begin.
◇Long Ago◆
This was back when things were still peaceful.
The eraser was the second son of the Rubber Brothers and an academically excellent eraser.
He was engaged to his girlfriend, Pencil, and was scheduled to become the king of the Textbook Kingdom in the near future.
But then, one day.
Suddenly, his fiancée Pencil vanished without a trace.
Suspicious, Eraser requested his friend Ruler and his older brother Rubber Band to search for Pencil.
And she was found.
“Huh, Pencil… that guy is…”
Yes, he had been cuckolded.
“Oh my, Eraser. What are you doing here?”
“Hmm? Eraser? That’s a nostalgic name~”
By the hand of the man who used to bully Eraser—none other than C*ndom.
“Y-you’re C*ndom!!”
“What? I’m happy you remember me, Eraser.”
“What… what is the meaning of this!! Pencil!! What is this!!”
To Eraser’s desperate plea, Pencil answered in an annoyed manner:
“Eraser, too bad.”
“Huh, what are you talking about…!! You’re my…”
As Eraser said this, Pencil sighed and answered:
“Oh, that thing about being your fiancée? I forgot about that.”
“Wh-what are you saying!! Pencil!! Hey, C*ndom!! What did you do to her!”
C*ndom laughed and replied:
“Huh? I didn’t do anything!”
“Look, I chose him—with his manly form—over a worn-down, blackened, rounded guy like you who’s been used too much!!”
“Wha…!!”
Eraser was left speechless.
Though he didn’t have a mouth to begin with.
“N-no way!! That’s a lie!!”
“It’s true, Eraser!! This woman saw me and immediately said, ‘I’m breaking up with that shitty rubber, so go out with me!!'”
“Th-that’s ridiculous!! That can’t be!! Wake up, Pencil!! You’re my…”
Pencil responded with unbelievable words:
“I mean, you’re only used by kids!!”
Eraser was rendered speechless by those words.
“I don’t want some rubber that only kids use—I want rubber that adults use!!”
“N-no…!!”
Eraser collapsed on the spot.
“Heh, how pathetic. A loser this worn-out should just disappear already.”
With that, C*ndom grabbed Eraser and threw him outside.
“Damn it… damn it…!!”
Eraser said this and lost consciousness.
◆Now◇
“I see… so you had a painful past too…”
Having defeated the eraser, Reven muttered this while looking at him lying there.
“Not that I give a damn.”
Just as Reven was about to return to burying goblins—
“Hmm~ that’s some loser over there~”
What do you know—Eraser’s sworn enemies, C*ndom and Pencil, happened to pass by.
“It’s a dirty jooooke!!”
Seeing this, Reven abandoned his work and rushed at full speed to beat down C*ndom and Pencil.
“Whoa! What’s with this old dude!”
Reven drew his two swords and immediately decided to turn the two into omurice.
～◇A Little Earlier◆～
Flam minced onions to make omurice for everyone.
Next, she cut the chicken into easy-to-eat dice.
“All right, that should do it.”
～◆Meanwhile, at That Time◇～
Reven sliced the two into mince with his swords.
“Diiiiie! You dirty jooooke!!”
“Gyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!”
～◇Flam’s Side◆～
“Next, I heat olive oil in a frying pan and add the onions first…”
With that, she used magic to stir-fry the onions over low heat.
“Once they’re soft, add the chicken and season with salt. When it’s cooked through, add ketchup and stir-fry while letting the acidity evaporate, then add rice and mix it all together… and the chicken rice is done!”
With that, she carefully portioned out the chicken rice.
～◆Reven’s Side◇～
“Flames of Vengeance!!”
ROOOOOAAAAR!
Reven breathed flames from his mouth onto the two he’d minced.
“Hot hot hot!! I’m melting! Melting!!”
“Kyaaaaaaaa!! I’m made of wood, so I’m burning! Burning!!”
Then Reven skewered the torso of the nearby gorilla-like monster.
“U… Uho…”
When he pulled his hand out, blood gushed out in torrents.
“Eek! Blood!!”
“Kyaaaaaaaa!!”
Then he grabbed a bunch of silver balls and threw them at them.
“Disappear!! You dirty jooookes!!”
The silver balls pierced the two like bullets.
“Gyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!”
～◆Flam’s Side◇～
Flam poured well-beaten eggs mixed with milk into the frying pan where butter had melted.
After waiting five seconds without touching it, she used chopsticks to mix from the edge of the pan toward the center in large strokes.
“The trick is to make it like scrambled eggs.”
“Who are you explaining this to?”
She moved the frying pan back and forth while sliding it onto the chicken rice.
“Perfect!!”
And with that, the omurice was complete.
～◆Reven’s Side◇～
Reven killed C*ndom by pickling him in chili peppers.
“That’s what you get for being a shitty dirty joke!!”
Watching this scene, Pencil was left speechless.
“Ah… ah…”
Reven whirled around to face Pencil.
She flinched and quickly prostrated herself.
“P-please!! Forgive me!! I was just threatened by that dirty joke over there!! Please let me go!!”
Hearing those words, Reven grabbed her.
And then—
“You’re the one who does the penetrating!!”
—he delivered a backdrop that snapped Pencil clean in half.
“Heh, I got your revenge for you.”
With that, he resumed burying the goblins.
And thus, he completed his goblin field.
There sat a single omurice.
As if to comfort a certain man.
“Stop trying to end this on a touching note!! To be continued!!”
“Um… the omurice is getting cold, you know?”
Flam said to Reven with a troubled expression.
But they didn’t know.
That this goblin field would draw out Reven’s greatest enemy.
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