I Went Into the Mountains to Commit Suicide and Picked Up an All-Purpose Perverted Maid Who Loves Serving Her Master

Chapter 7: Neighbor, Komori

Ever since Mei and I first had sex, we’ve been going at it like animals.

—Or so I’d like to say, but it hasn’t been that simple.

Whenever we start having sex, the doorbell goes ping-pong ping-pong, the wall gets pounded with a DON, or loud music comes blasting from next door. It’s harassment.

To be fair, it’s possible the sounds of our sex have been quite a nuisance to the surrounding apartments.

So, we tried keeping our voices down and having sex quietly. That was pretty exciting in its own way. It worked for a while, but either the neighbors’ ears got sharper, or it stopped being enough.

There was no helping it, so I thought about giving up on sex altogether. But then Mei went and bought an absurd amount of soundproofing and sound-absorbing materials.

We layered them double, triple thick, and suddenly, outside noises stopped bothering us entirely. No more wall-pounding or music. Our voices during sex probably stopped reaching the neighbors too. Now we could rest easy.

※

Neighbor Komori

Lately, I’ve been nothing but irritated. And it’s all because of that new neighbor, Yamanaka, or whatever his name is.

Everything about him pisses me off. Despite his average, unimpressive looks, he has an unbelievably gorgeous girlfriend. Blonde, with an impeccable figure. The moment I saw her walking with him, I fell for her.

I figured they couldn’t be that close, so I pressed my ear to the wall to eavesdrop. But every single day, they’re flirting, and they start going at it right away.

What’s so great about that guy? I’m far more talented than that loser. No, I’m definitely better.

She might be blinded now, but she’ll come to her senses eventually. When she does, she’ll dump that pathetic guy in no time. Then I’ll have my chance. If she hears my music, my talent will be obvious. She’ll fall for me instantly. No doubt about it.

I can’t let that guy defile her beautiful body. I listened closely, and whenever it sounded like they were about to start, I banged on the wall, rang the doorbell, and did everything to interrupt them.

Thanks to my efforts, I haven’t heard those sounds lately. A victory for justice. It’s only a matter of time before they break up. Or so I thought.

※

I ran into the neighbor in the elevator for the first time in a while. Despite his dull appearance, he’s wearing a suspiciously nice suit. It pisses me off. That suit doesn’t suit you. Wear something more fitting for your status. I thought that but kept it off my face.

“So, how’s it going with your girlfriend lately?”

“Oh, great, of course.”

Don’t give me that pathetic lie. I know you two aren’t even talking properly. I can’t hear a single word.

“Good to hear. I was worried since I haven’t heard a peep from next door lately.”

“Oh, that’s because we’ve been using good soundproofing. The walls in this building seem pretty thin.”

As we talked, the elevator stopped. A short walk later, we reached his apartment. There, his stunning girlfriend was waiting.

I hoped she’d gotten fed up with this Yamanaka jerk and come to greet me, but no such luck. She’s still brainwashed by him. Disgustingly, she hugged him, and they disappeared into the apartment. While the door was open, I could hear their lovey-dovey chatter, but once it closed, nothing.

Damn it! That’s the soundproofing’s effect! Screw you! I slammed my fist on their door.

I’d been gentlemanly until now, but no more. I’m done. From that day, I ditched polite methods like ringing the doorbell and started throwing eggs at their door and windows, making them as filthy as possible.

But cleaning could fix that. So, I went further. While Yamanaka was out, I filled their door lock with solder. Now they can’t get in with a key. I kept up various harassments until, finally, it seems the neighbor caved. I heard they’re moving out. Another victory for justice. Now, I just hope he leaves that beautiful woman behind and moves out alone. She’s too perfect for him.

On moving day, I spoke to him.

“Moving out, huh? I’ll miss you.”

“Yeah, we saved up some money, so we’re moving. This area seems pretty unsafe too.”

That’s the result of my harassment. Living here must’ve become unbearable.

“Unsafe? Did something happen?”

“Yeah, but it’s over now. The new place is in a prime downtown area. Soundproofing’s perfect, so we’ll be fine.”

Tch, prime downtown? As if a guy like you could move somewhere decent. A jobless loser. I know your job hunt’s going nowhere.

“Oh, you don’t have to believe me. But the new place has tight security, so no more harassment, okay?”

“Huh? Harassment? Me?”

“Yeah, we set up a security camera recently. Got you on tape, clear as day. We’re heading to the police with the footage to file a report. Good timing, huh? Looks like you’ll be moving too. Hope it’s quiet in jail.”