I Went Into the Mountains to Commit Suicide and Picked Up an All-Purpose Perverted Maid Who Loves Serving Her Master - Chapter 22: Mysterious Assailant

Chapter 22: Mysterious Assailant

Mei is too dangerous. If this keeps up, I’m done for.

Her “service” is flawless. Cooking, laundry, cleaning, and… sexual service.

I’m completely at her mercy, just basking in her care. It’s like I’m some rich guy’s pampered pet. Food appears without effort, my “owner” plays with me, and a top-notch groomer keeps me pristine. This isn’t a human life.

Worse, Mei gives me daily pocket money from her earnings, telling me to spend it freely. If I want something expensive, she buys it, no questions asked.

I tried not to ask for things, no matter how much I wanted them. She’d buy anything, no matter the cost, and that terrified me after growing up poor.

But when I stopped mentioning my wants, she somehow figured out my tastes perfectly. Books, manga, games, appliances, clothes, shoes—things I secretly desired started appearing at home. I don’t even need to shop anymore. I just laze around, everything provided, living in bliss.

This can’t go on. I’ll become a useless husk of a person. I know it, but I can’t resist the temptation and keep wasting my days.

※

Ping-pong.

I was lounging at home as usual when, rare for us, the intercom rang. No one’s ever visited—none of my or Mei’s acquaintances even know we live in this luxury penthouse. A delivery, maybe?

“I’ll get it.”

“No, I’ll go.”

“I can’t trouble Master with such things.”

“It’s fine, it’s fine.”

Mei was cooking and still tried to answer the door, so I stopped her and hurried to the intercom.

The monitor showed a silver-haired beauty with an aura similar to Mei’s, dressed in black gothic lolita fashion. I didn’t recognize her. Not a delivery. What’s her deal? I picked up the receiver.

“Hello?”

“You got a blonde, big-breasted, sexy chick there, right?”

“…You mean Mei?”

“Yeah, that’s her. Name’s Fool. I’m, like, her buddy. Mind if I come up?”

Mei has a friend? This girl is gorgeous like Mei, with a similar vibe. Birds of a feather, huh? I had no idea she had friends like this.

“Come on up. I’ll open the door.”

“Nah, I’ll let myself in.”

With that, the girl on the monitor suddenly vanished.

“Huh?”

“What’s wrong?”

Mei, still cooking, called out.

“Oh, your friend Fool was just at the entrance, but she disappeared.”

“My friend… Fool?” Pause “Get down!”

CRASH!

As Mei tilted her head cutely, pondering, a deafening sound erupted.

I turned toward the noise. There stood the woman who called herself Fool, who’d been at the entrance moments ago. Shattered glass littered the floor.

She broke through the window…? No way, this is the penthouse! How’d she get up here!?

“Yo, 005. Your real Master’s here to pick you up.”

Stepping on the glass shards, Fool strode toward us.

“My name is Mei. And my Master is Itsuki Yamanaka, right here. If you came to spout nonsense, please leave, 004 Fool.”

“Oh? So you do know who I am. Then you must’ve figured out I’m your true Master, huh?”

“No. My only Master is Itsuki-sama.”

“Tch. I look away for a second, and you go find another Master. What a pain. Guess I’ll have to make you acknowledge me the hard way.”

“Perfect timing. I was just thinking Master could use another maid. Shall we see who’s superior with a test of strength?”

“Not bad. I like how straightforward that is.”

Mei and Fool raised their fists, ready to fight. But Mei suddenly lowered hers, gesturing to stop.

“…Don’t you think this place is too cramped for us to settle this? I assume you don’t want to draw attention either.”

“Fair point.”

Fool glanced around the room. Wait, this is one of the biggest apartments out there! Well, I guess that’s not what she meant.

“Let’s take it somewhere else. Master, come with us.”

“Whoa, you’re bringing that deadweight along?”

“Yes. If I leave his side, some liar might take him hostage.”

“I wouldn’t do that.”

“We’ll see.”

And so, we left the apartment with its shattered window, heading to a deserted location.

W-What’s going on? I can’t follow any of this. But I had a gut feeling: the mystery of Mei was finally about to unravel.