I Wanted To Squeeze A Magical Girl’s Boobs So Bad I Turned Into A Monster - Chapter 8: Troubles

The end of the first semester was approaching, and everyone at school was busy studying for the final exams. I could even see students cramming their textbooks during small pockets of free time.

“So, you’re not going to study, Ducky?”

A voice came from behind me while I lay face down on my desk to prevent needless daydreaming.

“Ducky” was my nickname, derived from the “daki” in Shidaki (which meant “embrace/hold”).

Not many people spoke to me.

When I looked up, it was Kawano Ren, one of my few friends.

“I’ll study at home. School is for sleeping.”

“I don’t think that’s right… but whatever. So, how’s it going with Akasaki-chan? Hmm?”

He poked my shoulder with a frustratingly handsome smirk. This fake sunny guy apparently thought Akasaki and I were dating.

“We’re not a match. She’s just a friend.”

“But you get fed with her bento and all every day, right?”

“…I guess so.”

“You can’t really call that ‘just friends’, c’mon.”

I knew that.

I cared about Akasaki, and I believed she felt the same about me. From an outsider’s view, we probably looked more than just friends.

“But we’re definitely not dating.”

“Such a waste, isn’t it? Akasaki’s cute, you know.”

“…I’m aware.”

Though I was always thinking about breasts, even ignoring that, I thought Akasaki was cute.

I sometimes thought that, if I weren’t a monster, then maybe…

It was all my fault for becoming a monster in the first place.

“Ha, well, good luck or whatever.”

“I’ll try my best.”

“That’s a pretty lazy answer.”

Since I couldn’t tell him I was a monster, that was all I could say.

The next class was about to start, so Ren went back to his seat.

At lunch break, I sat on the rooftop bench, thinking about what had happened the other day.

Maybe I should have just helped defend back then.

Maybe if I had held back more, I could have avoided killing.

Maybe Ruby should have defeated them instead.

Until now, what I called “helping” Ruby had only been dealing with Unique monsters. I told myself I hadn’t killed anybody, since those weren’t human.

That was how I’d convinced the human part of me.

But this time, I’d killed a normal monster that could have been saved.

The guilt I’d buried over deceiving her overflowed, now that I had taken a life for the first time.

Akasaki hadn’t come for a while. Maybe she was still upset.

“What should I do…?”

I looked down and finally muttered my weakness aloud.

Soft hands touched my head.

“Senpai, are you troubled?”

“Ah, Akasaki…”

“Yes, it’s me. Were you lonely since I haven’t come by in a while?”

“W-well… yeah…”

When I looked up, Akasaki was gently smiling and reaching out to touch my head.

Her breasts were close too.

Right now, the comfort of having Akasaki nearby outweighed all the swirling desires inside me.

“So, what’s troubling you? If you don’t mind, I’ll listen.”

“…I’ve been lying to someone very important to me…”

Before I knew it, I began speaking bit by bit.

“I’ve been putting a burden on that person all this time, dragging them into my own mess, using them selfishly…”

Akasaki said nothing, just silently locking eyes with me and waiting for the rest of my story.

“Then, recently, I finally broke something important to that person.”

She nodded quietly.

“I said things like it was for their own good, comforted them without any right, but even so that person was still kind to me…! I’m such a terrible scum!”

I said it aloud.

Akasaki might think it was someone else’s story, but this was about me and her… a monster and a magical girl.

I told the person I hurt, and I shared my own pain caused by hurting her.

The thought that I should have chosen death when I became a monster grew huge inside me. If I were to compare it to breasts, it would be a gigantic, fantastical pair from a work of fiction.

“That’s why I want to die already…”

“Don’t say things like that, Senpai.”

Akasaki’s hand touched my cheek. Her expression still held that same kind smile.

“Senpai’s not scum. The fact you’re struggling like this is proof of that.”

“But I hurt that person…”

Tears spilled uncontrollably.

Akasaki wiped them away with her index finger.

“Senpai, you said it yourself. What’s lost can’t be helped. You just have to make sure you don’t lose it again. You just need to try harder next time.”

Saying that, Akasaki pulled me into her chest.

…That’s right.

Even though I said those words myself, I almost lied again.

“And besides, when Senpai looks sad, I get sad too. So cheer up, okay?”

Even though I made her so sad, I almost repeated it once more.

Her words seemed to soak into my heart.

I felt like I could only try harder not to make her sad ever again. That’s what I thought.

“Yeah, you’re right. Thanks, Akasaki.”

I looked up and we shared a smile together.

Close-up boobs were the best.