Chapter 7 – My Pure Heart

Her head tilted. She didn’t scream. She didn’t run. She just stood there. She was a statue in the moonlight. I could see a small smile playing on her lips.

This was going to be fun.

She finally pushed the hood back from her head. Her pink hair seemed to glow in the dim light. Her expression was completely deadpan. It was the same look she gave me at the crepe stand. Total, absolute boredom.

“You left the window open, idiot.”

《She has a point.》

“It’s called an invitation.”

“It’s called being lazy. Anyone could have climbed in.”

“But they didn’t. You did. That makes it special.”

I gave her my best smile. The one I practiced in the mirror. It usually didn’t work, but hope was a powerful thing. She just stared at me. Her silence was a weapon. I felt my confidence start to crack.

She took a step forward. Then another. She circled the coffee table, her eyes scanning everything. She was like a cat investigating a new room. A very unimpressed cat.

“Your cleaning skills are terrible.”

“Hey, I worked hard on that.”

《For a whole ten minutes.》

“The pillows are lopsided. And you missed a spot on the counter.”

She pointed a finger toward the kitchen. I squinted. She was right. There was a small smudge of something next to the sink. How could she even see that in this light?

“You have incredible attention to detail.”

“I’m observant.”

“It’s a great quality for a stalker to have.”

The word hung in the air between us. I had said it. The truth was out. I watched her for a reaction. A flicker of surprise. A hint of denial. I got nothing. She didn’t even blink.

“Your ‘traps’ were also really obvious.”

She reached into the pocket of her black hoodie. She pulled out my student ID card. She flicked it with her thumb. It spun in the air. I caught it reflexively.

“And this key by the plant pot? Super lame. It’s the first place anyone would look.”

She pulled out the spare key. She dangled it in front of my face. It glinted in the moonlight. I felt a weird sense of pride. She had found all my clues. It was like we were playing a game and she was winning.

“So you admit it. You were following me.”

“You’re the only other guy in my year. It’s hard not to notice you.”

“Notice me? You were hiding behind a tree.”

“It was a good tree.”

《It was a twig. A glorified twig.》

“It was a terrible tree. I could see your entire head.”

A flicker of something crossed her face. Annoyance. It was the first real emotion I had seen from her. It was a victory. I pressed my advantage.

“But I want you to know something, Sakura.”

“How do you know my name?”

《ARE YOU SERIOUS? YOU MET HER WHEN SHE BROKE INTO YOUR APARTMENT, YOU ABSOLUTE MORON! SHE’S THE LANDLORD’S NIECE!》

“It’s on my class roster. And I’m observant, too.”

“I want you to know that I’m cool with it.”

“Cool with what?”

“This. You. Following me. Breaking into my house. The whole stalker vibe you’ve got going on.”

《This is the dumbest conversation in human history.》

“I’m not a stalker.”

“You literally climbed through my window.”

“The window was open.”

“I left it open for you.”

She finally paused. Her brain seemed to be buffering. She was trying to process the sheer stupidity of my logic. I could practically see the loading icon spinning in her eyes.

“You’re weird.”

“Thank you.”

I stood up from the couch. I walked over to her. I kept a safe distance. I didn’t want to spook her. This was a delicate negotiation. Like taming a wild animal. A wild, pink-haired, very sarcastic animal.

“Look, I get it. I’m a pretty interesting guy.”

《I’m going to shut down out of secondhand embarrassment.》

“The mystery. The allure. The fact that I twitch randomly every five minutes. It’s a lot to take in. I can see why you’d want to learn more.”

I gestured to my apartment.

“So I accept it. I accept this part of you.”

“The part that thinks you’re an idiot?”

“The part that’s my stalker.”

I said it with all the sincerity I could muster. I looked her straight in the eyes. I wanted her to see that I was being real. That this was a safe space for her to be her creepy, stalker self.

She just stared. Then, the corner of her mouth twitched upwards. It was a tiny, almost invisible smile. But it was there.

“You’re a total moron.”

“But I’m your moron, right?”

Her smile grew a little wider.

“Maybe.”

My heart did a backflip. This was it. This was progress. We had an understanding. A weird, probably illegal understanding. But it was ours. I felt a warmth spread through my chest. It was a feeling of pure, genuine connection. I was accepting her for who she was. The real her.

“I accept you, Sakura. All of you. Even the part that breaks into my apartment.”

My heart felt so full. My intentions were so pure. I was being the perfect, understanding guy. A guy who could look past the breaking and entering and see the beautiful soul underneath. I was a true romantic.

And a true romantic would know exactly how to celebrate this moment.

First, we’d have a wedding. A nighttime ceremony, naturally. She’d wear a black wedding dress. I’d wear a ski mask. Our vows would be us confessing to all the times we’d stalked each other. Instead of a ring, I’d give her a brand new set of lockpicks. Our honeymoon would be spent breaking into a museum to “borrow” a famous diamond. We’d have kids. Little ninja babies. We’d train them in the art of espionage and reconnaissance from birth. Our family vacations would be stakeouts.

My thoughts were a runaway train of perversion, picking up speed as they barreled down the tracks of my mind.

Then the world exploded.

《ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!》

It wasn’t a shock. It was a tactical nuclear strike delivered directly to my brain stem. Every muscle in my body seized at once. My teeth slammed together. My vision went white. I felt myself lifting off the floor as my back arched like a bow. A sound like a dying transformer ripped from my throat.

I crashed to the floor. My limbs twitched uncontrollably. The smell of burning ozone filled the air. My last conscious thought was that Sakura looked vaguely concerned. Then everything went black.

《You disgusting, masochistic, irredeemable piece of trash!!!》