Chapter 5 – I Love Crazy Girls 2

Her eyes were locked on mine, a playful glint in their cold depths.

The space between us crackled with a weird energy. My brain was still rebooting from the last shock, but my heart was hammering for a totally different reason. She was trouble. The best kind of trouble.

“So. Pinched nerve, huh?”

Her voice was low, laced with amusement.

“You get those a lot?”

I forced a laugh, trying to sound casual and not like a guy who just got cattle-prodded by a cosmic deity.

“Only when I’m in the presence of overwhelming beauty. It’s a medical condition.”

The corner of her mouth twitched. It wasn’t quite a smile, but it was close.

“Wow. You’re actually worse up close.”

She took a step back, breaking the spell. The air rushed back into my lungs. She glanced around my tiny, messy apartment, her gaze lingering on a pile of manga.

“My aunt really is the landlord, by the way. This wasn’t some elaborate plan to get your number.”

She paused.

“Not that I’d want it.”

Ouch. She was a master of the backhanded compliment. Or, in this case, the backhanded insult. She tossed the spare key onto my cluttered coffee table. It landed with a soft clink.

“Anyway, I live just down the hall. So I guess that makes us neighbors. Try not to be too creepy.”

She walked to the door, her movements casual and confident. She didn’t look back when she opened it.

“See you around, Twitch.”

The door clicked shut, leaving me alone in the sudden silence.

I stood there for a full minute, replaying the entire encounter in my head. A beautiful girl broke into my apartment, insulted me multiple times, and gave me a demeaning nickname.

It was the best first date I’d ever had.

The blue screen of doom flickered to life in front of me.

《Are you dummy?》

The text was blunt, even for Systema.

Of course not. I let out a giddy laugh. But think about it, just for a second. Isn’t that kind of crazy hot?

《Explain. And this had better not be stupid.》

Think. Girls like that, they’re not normal. They’re unpredictable. They’re eager for you, possessive even. They would do anything for you. That’s so, so hot. So damn hot that I would go after them for sure. My mind was already racing, filled with scenarios that were definitely not pure.

The blue screen glitched, the text turning a furious red.

《Are you some species of dog in heat? You just think with your lower member. And again. ZAPPP.》

A bolt of energy, less of a full-body seizure and more of a concentrated punch, slammed into my chest. I grunted, stumbling back against the wall, but I didn’t fall. I didn’t even yell. A wide, stupid grin spread across my face.

I’m getting used to this electricity. It barely even hurts anymore. Hehehehe.

The system seemed to pause, as if it was processing my reaction.

《That isn’t a thing to be proud of, you damn dummy.》

Of course it is!

I pushed myself off the wall, feeling a surge of idiotic confidence.

It’s my superpower!

My new mission was clear: Operation Sakura.

The next morning, I felt a prickle on the back of my neck, the kind you get when you’re being watched.

I was halfway to school, the street busy with the usual morning rush of students and office workers. Everything looked normal, but the feeling wouldn’t go away. I scanned the crowds, looking for anything out of place. Nothing. Maybe the constant electrocution was finally making me paranoid.

《Someone’s on your six.》

Systema’s text popped up, sharp and to the point. I slowed my pace, pretending to check my phone.

I muttered under my breath.

“Where?”

《Behind the telephone pole, moron. Pink hair isn’t exactly camouflage.》

I casually glanced over my shoulder. For a split second, I saw it. A flash of bright pink hair and the top of a head ducking behind the concrete pole with comical haste.

It was Sakura.

A slow smile spread across my face. I knew this game. I’d played it a thousand times from the other side. She was using the oldest trick in the book, the classic “hide behind something way too narrow for your body” maneuver. An amateur move.

I kept walking, a new spring in my step.

A few blocks later, the feeling returned. This time, I knew what to look for. I pretended to tie my shoe, angling my body so I could see the street behind me in the reflection of a store window.

There she was.

She was crouched behind a public mailbox, peering over the top. When a woman stopped to mail a letter, Sakura dropped to the ground like a secret agent, pretending to be invisible. It was the most ridiculous and adorable thing I had ever seen.

The system’s blue screen appeared in my peripheral vision.

《This is not normal. She was in your apartment, and now she’s following you. That’s a red flag, idiot. You need to be careful.》

The warning was clear. Logical. Something a normal person would probably listen to.

But I wasn’t scared. I was flattered. This was a five-alarm fire of a red flag, and I was running straight into the flames. This wasn’t creepy. This was confirmation. This was a girl going out of her way to watch me. It was the ultimate compliment.

She wasn’t just a crazy girl. She was a legit stalker.

A crazy, pink-haired, beautiful stalker. And she was so, so hot.

《You are the dumbest creature in the known universe.》