Chapter 2 – The System Really Pisses Me Off!!!

Falling through nothingness is a weird sensation.

One moment, my floor was gone. The next, I was tumbling through a kaleidoscope of blinding colors and screaming wind. It felt like being flushed down a cosmic toilet. My stomach tried to climb out of my throat. There was no up or down. Just a nauseating, endless plunge.

Then, just as suddenly, it stopped.

My feet hit solid ground with a jarring thud. I stumbled forward, arms pinwheeling, before collapsing onto my hands and knees. I stayed there for a second, kissing the cobblestones. They were solid. They were real. I was alive.

I pushed myself up and took in my surroundings.

I was in the middle of a massive town square. The architecture was fantasy-level cool. Buildings were made of white stone and dark timber, with high-peaked, colorful roofs. A huge fountain with a statue of a warrior woman dominated the center. The air smelled clean, mixed with the scent of baking bread and something like cinnamon.

But that wasn’t what made my jaw drop.

It was the people. Everywhere I looked, there were women. A blacksmith with soot on her cheeks hammered a glowing blade. Two guards in polished silver armor laughed together, spears resting on their shoulders. A group of mages in pointed hats argued over a floating scroll. Knights, merchants, archers, scholars. All women.

There were no men. Anywhere.

And the best part? The way they looked at me. It wasn’t with the cold dismissal I was used to. It was with curiosity. Some of them smiled. A few even waved. They weren’t looking at me with contempt.

This is paradise. It can only be paradise.

I’m in heaven.

My gaze locked onto a girl leaning against the fountain. She had fiery red hair in a practical ponytail and a dusting of freckles across her nose. She wore leather armor and had a bow slung over her back. She looked strong, confident, and completely out of my league back home.

But this wasn’t home. This was my world now.

I smoothed my shirt. I ran a hand through my hair. I started walking towards her, a perfect opening line already forming in my mind. This was it. The start of my new, glorious harem life. My first step to becoming the king of this world.

《Detected perverted thought. Punishment applied.》

What.

A bolt of pure energy shot through my entire body. My teeth rattled. Every muscle seized up. My hair stood on end. A high-pitched ringing filled my ears, and I tasted burnt toast. The world went white for a second.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

The shock vanished as quickly as it came. I crumpled to the ground, twitching. Smoke curled from the collar of my shirt. The redhead by the fountain was staring at me, her expression a mix of alarm and confusion. Several other people had stopped to look.

Before I could even think, that damn shock.

Damn, what the hell is this.

A transparent blue screen popped into existence in front of my face. White text typed itself out.

《Name’s the Purity System. The goddess you ticked off stuck me in your head. My job is to fix you.》

The system. Right. The psycho goddess mentioned a system. I must have blacked it out.

You have got to be kidding me. A system, you idiot? Haven’t you ever read a manhwa? Systems are supposed to give you powers. They make you stronger. They don’t electrocute you for no reason.

The text on the screen blinked and changed.

《Don’t compare me to your trashy manga, moron. And yeah, there was a reason I zapped you.》

What? It can read my thoughts?

《Duh, I can read your thoughts. How else am I supposed to catch you being a creep?》

Damn.

What a damn system.

What the hell did I do? I didn’t even say anything to her. I was just walking.

《’What did I do?’ Seriously? You mentally stripped that archer. Planned your whole gross harem with her. Called yourself a ‘king.’ That’s what you did, perv.》

Well, I that deserved a reward. But why was I punished for what?

《That’s the problem, dummy. You got no chill.》

The system just called me a dummy. A disembodied blue screen just insulted my intelligence. I was getting owned by divine malware.

What the hell does that mean? No chill?

《It means being a perv is, like, your entire personality. So any time you think about a girl in that way, you get the jolt. Simple.》

This was insane. That covered basically every thought I’ve ever had about women. This wasn’t a re-education. It was torture.

The system screen flickered and vanished. The crowd was starting to disperse, writing me off as some weirdo who had a seizure in the town square. The redhead was gone. Of course she was.

Fine. I get it. No impure thoughts. But the goddess sent me here to a world full of babes. It’s a trap. A huge, cosmic, totally unfair trap.

But I’m Ataru. I don’t give up. There had to be a loophole. Maybe it’s about the level of perversion. I just had to be more subtle. More charming. Less “harem king” and more “mysterious, interesting guy.”

Anyway, time to flirt.

I spotted another target. A woman with short, silver hair was reading a book at an outdoor cafe. She wore glasses and a smart-looking vest. The intellectual type. A totally different vibe. I could work with this.

I took a deep breath. I cleared my mind. I thought about puppies. And rainbows. And homework. Anything but what I usually think about. I walked towards her, keeping my thoughts as pure as possible. I can do this. I’ll just say hello. A simple, friendly greeting. Nothing perverted about that.

My brain, however, had other ideas. A single, traitorous thought flashed through my mind.

I bet she’s a freak in the library stacks.

《Detected perverted thought. Punishment applied.》

Again?

The world exploded in electricity again, this time even stronger. My back arched. My vision went blurry. I let out a scream that sounded like a cat being put in a blender. I collapsed onto the ground, limbs flopping uselessly like a fish on a dock.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

The blue screen reappeared in front of my face as I lay there, drooling on the cobblestones.

《Detected perverted thoughts. Punishment applied.》

But I didn’t think anything! Not really! It was just a flicker. A tiny, insignificant thought. It barely even counted.

The text on the screen began to type again. I watched it, my eye twitching.

《Yo, your heart rate’s jacked up. And not just from the pain, weirdo.》

What is it talking about? Of course it was pain. Blinding, agonizing pain.

《Running the numbers on your messed-up brain… Yep. Got it.》

The screen went blank for a second. New text appeared in a larger, bolder font. It was bright red.

《Figured it out. You’re a masochist. You actually kinda like this, don’t you? Total pervert confirmed.》