Chapter 1 – Goodbye My Playboy Life

My name is Ataru.

I hate harem manga. The protagonists are always these dense, clueless dudes. It’s so fake.

Every girl in the story is throwing herself at him. He just blinks and acts like he has no idea what’s happening.

There is no way anyone is that innocent. Not to that extent.

If I were one of those guys, I would party hard. No questions asked. I would know exactly what to do.

The city buzzed with the energy of a thousand lives colliding.

Sunlight glinted off skyscrapers. Crowds flowed like a river along the sidewalks. It was the perfect hunting ground. I slicked my hair back using my reflection in a store window.

Operation: Find a Date was officially a go.

My first target stood near a crepe stand. She had bright pink hair tied into two messy buns and was scrolling through her phone. She looked cool, a little distant. The perfect challenge.

I took a deep breath. I sauntered over, leaning against the wall next to her. I flashed what I hoped was a charming, mysterious smile.

“If being beautiful was a crime, you’d be on death row.”

She didn’t look up from her phone.

“And if being a creep was a crime, you’d get a life sentence.”

Ouch. A direct hit. But I could recover.

“I’m just saying, a girl like you shouldn’t be standing all alone.”

She finally looked up. Her eyes were ice cold. They scanned me from my worn-out sneakers to my carefully styled hair. A small, unimpressed smile played on her lips.

“I wasn’t alone. I was having a nice, quiet moment before you showed up.”

She put her phone back in her pocket.

“Thanks for ruining it.”

She turned and walked away, melting back into the crowd.

My smile faltered. My confidence took a small hit. It was just a warm-up. The next one would be different.

A few blocks down, I spotted my next opportunity. This girl was the complete opposite. She wore a black dress with tons of lace, ripped fishnets, and heavy platform boots. A hardcore goth vibe. A silver bat necklace hung around her neck.

This required a new strategy. Dark and broody. I could do that.

I walked up and stood in her path, forcing her to stop. I crossed my arms and looked down at her with a practiced, pained expression.

“Does it hurt?”

She raised a perfectly sculpted black eyebrow. Her lipstick was the color of midnight.

“Does what hurt?”

“When you fell from heaven? Or in your case, maybe the abyss?”

A corner of her mouth twitched. I thought I saw a glimmer of amusement. This was working.

“Wow. I’ve never heard that one before.”

Her voice was dripping with sarcasm thick enough to cut with a knife.

“Is that the best you’ve got? Did you find that on some loser internet forum from 2005?”

My jaw tightened. Okay, maybe a little too salty.

“I just thought a unique girl like you deserved a unique line.”

“The only thing unique here is your nerve.”

She stepped around me without another glance.

“Try not to trip over your own ego.”

My posture slumped. Two swings, two misses. This was not how it went in the manga. The protagonist trips, falls into some girl’s chest, and she somehow falls in love. I just get verbally destroyed. The universe was seriously unfair.

I needed a win. I scanned the park entrance.

A girl was jogging on the spot, waiting for the light to change. She wore running shorts and a tank top that showed off toned arms. Her ponytail bounced with every movement. She looked energetic and focused.

Perfect. A direct, confident approach was the key here.

I jogged up beside her, faking a casual stretch.

“Hey, I’m training for a marathon. Mind if I join you for a bit? Could use a good pacer.”

The light changed. She took off like a shot.

I was not prepared for her speed. I sprinted to keep up, my lungs immediately burning. I gasped, my voice already strained.

“So… you run here often?”

She glanced over, her expression a mix of pity and confusion. She wasn’t even breathing hard.

“Are you okay? You’re bright red.”

I wheezed, trying to catch my breath.

“Never better. Just admiring the view.”

A car honked. She gave me a weird look and picked up her pace. I pushed myself harder, my legs starting to feel like jelly. This was a terrible idea. My lungs were on fire. A cramp started forming in my side. Each word was a struggle.

“You’re really fast.”

She just gave me a thumbs-up and then sprinted ahead, leaving me in her dust.

I collapsed onto a nearby bench, gasping for air. My whole body ached. I watched her disappear down the street, not even a memory of the weird guy who tried to run with her.

I got rejected a lot today.

My legendary charm had officially short-circuited. I’d had enough.

It was time to go home.

The walk back to my apartment was a march of defeat. Each step echoed my failures. Why was it so hard? The guys in the stories make it look so easy. They just exist and women flock to them.

Damn, that’s why I hate these harem protagonists. They have it all and they don’t even know what to do with it.

A golden light leaked from under my apartment door.

That was weird. I definitely didn’t leave a lamp on the floor. I hesitated, my hand hovering over the doorknob. Maybe a fire? I pressed my ear to the door. I didn’t hear a crackle or smell smoke. Just a faint, humming sound.

I twisted the knob and pushed the door open.

My tiny, messy apartment was gone. Instead of my piles of manga and dirty clothes, the room was vast and empty. It seemed to stretch into infinity, a void of shimmering white and gold. In the center, sitting on my worn-out gaming chair like it was a throne, was a woman.

She was ridiculously beautiful. Like, “render a man speechless” beautiful. She had long, silver hair that cascaded around her and eyes that glowed with the light of distant stars. She wore a simple white dress, but it seemed to radiate its own power. She was looking at her perfectly manicured nails, looking incredibly bored.

My day of rejections was instantly forgotten. My confidence surged back, a tidal wave of stupid optimism. This had to be a sign.

“Wow. I must have died and gone to heaven, because I’m looking at an angel.”

The woman slowly lifted her head. Her cosmic eyes landed on me. There was no warmth in them. It was like being analyzed by a supercomputer.

“Don’t compare me to those feathered bores.”

Her voice was like music, but it was cold and sharp. It echoed in the vast space.

“My apologies. A goddess, then? You’re definitely divine enough to be one.”

I leaned against the doorframe, trying to look casual. My heart was hammering in my chest. This was the big leagues.

“And you are a human. A particularly loud and irritating one.”

She stood up. The gaming chair vanished in a flash of light. She glided towards me, her feet not quite touching the floor.

“Your thoughts are like a swarm of angry gnats. So crude. So predictable.”

My smile tightened. This was not the reaction I was expecting.

“I’m Ataru. And you are?”

“I am a being whose name your tongue is unworthy of pronouncing.”

She stopped a few feet in front of me. The sheer force of her presence was overwhelming. It made the air thick and hard to breathe. I felt small, like an ant under a magnifying glass.

“I have been observing your species. Your shallow mating rituals. Your fleeting desires.”

Her gaze was intense. I felt like she could see every stupid, embarrassing thing I had ever done.

“And you, Ataru, are a perfect specimen. The absolute pinnacle of shallow, perverted thought.”

I swallowed hard. The word “perverted” stung.

“Hey, I’m just a guy who appreciates beauty. There’s no crime in that.”

“There is when it is the only thought in your head.”

A crackle of ozone filled the air. Her eyes narrowed to glowing slits. The vibe in the room went from weird to legit terrifying.

“I have grown tired of it. I have grown tired of mortals like you, who treat relationships like a game to be won, who see others as objects for your collection.”

She raised a hand. A ball of pure, white energy formed in her palm, pulsing with power.

“So, I have decided to conduct an experiment. And you will be my first test subject.”

A genuine spike of fear shot through me. This was not a joke. This was not a dream.

“What kind of experiment?”

“A re-education.”

The ball of light in her hand grew brighter, illuminating the infinite space around us.

“I am sending you to a world where the social dynamics are reversed. A world where women hold the power in romance. Where men are expected to be pure, chaste, and demure.”

I stared at her, my mind struggling to process her words.

“What? That’s insane.”

“In this world, you will be judged by the standards they hold for men. You must remain pure. You must not act on your lecherous impulses. You must not even think a single perverted thought.”

The fear was quickly being replaced by horror. Not think a perverted thought? That was my entire personality.

“That’s impossible! You can’t do that!”

“Oh, I can.”

A cold, terrifying smile spread across her perfect face. It was not a friendly smile. It was the smile of a scientist about to stick a pin in a bug.

“Every time you have an impure thought, you will suffer a penalty. A small, inconvenient jolt of divine punishment. It will be… educational.”

She took another step forward, the light in her hand so bright I had to shield my eyes.

“You hate those dense harem protagonists? Let’s see how you fare when the game is completely rigged against you. Let’s see if you can become the pure, innocent hero you seem to despise so much.”

Panic set in—pure, raw panic.

“Wait! You can’t just do this! I’m sorry! I’ll be good! I’ll become a monk!”

“It’s far too late for that. I’ve seen the contents of your soul.”

Her voice dropped to a whisper, but it boomed in the emptiness around me.

“And you, Ataru, are without a doubt the single biggest pervert I have ever had the displeasure of observing.”

The floor disappeared.