I Don’t Like Endings Where the Person who Cheats Gets Forgiven, so I Will not Forgive Her - Chapter 40-41

Chapter 40

Yukina’s POV

‘Senpai, can I see you this weekend?’

It’s been a day since I sent that message to Senpai, hasn’t it?

It’s been quite a while since I had sex with Senpai.

At first, I would get replies from Senpai right away, but gradually he starts to reply me slower and slower.

Now, at best, I would get a reply after a few hours. At worst, it takes two or three days for Senpai to reply my message.

When we meet, he treats me normally just like before, and when I get to work with Senpai on the same shift, we just work together as usual, but…

The anxiety building up inside my heart is hard to shake off, and it only seems to grow.

Maybe Senpai is in a relationship with another girl…but there is nothing I can do about it.

I’m not actually Senpai’s girlfriend…it’s just a physical and ambiguous relationship.

If I’m asked whether I like senpai or not, I’d struggle to find an answer to that question.

However, if Senpai were to disappear from my life, then the worst thing I’ve done to Yukito would be meaningless.

Because I have nowhere to belong, I’m just anxiously waiting for a reply from Senpai.

…I’m really a piece of trash.

How did all this happen?

Was I always like this from the beginning?

I guess that’s probably the case.

I’m not the kind of person who can stand by Yukito’s side from the beginning.

I close eyes and hug myself tightly.

I don’t want to think about anything.

I feel my heart is getting more and more messed up.

I’m starting to lose sight of myself.

At that moment, I hear a notification sound from my smartphone.

I get up and hurriedly check it.

‘Yeah, we can meet, but…’

I gently pat my chest in relief at the reply from Senpai.

It seems like we’ll be able to meet this weekend.

‘There’s something I want to talk about when we meet.’

What could Senpai want to talk about? Maybe…

‘I understand. Looking forward to this weekend.’

‘Yeah.’

Perhaps Senpai is planning to confess to me.

Maybe instead of just physical relationship, he wants us to be actual lovers.

I feel slightly happy, but at the same time, I feel anxious and I’m thinking of turning down Senpai.

I think it’s because I still harbour feelings for Yukito, along with the lingering hope that there might still be a chance for me to get back with Yukito.

That’s why I’m thinking of turning down Senpai’s confession.

However…seeing Setsuna and Yukito, I realize that those two will probably never leave each other until the day they die.

Especially Setsuna, she will never let go of Yukito.

I can imagine her staying by his side forever, continuing to love him.

…if Senpai confesses to me.

…I’ll accept it.

Because that’s all I have.

Chapter 41

Everything doesn’t matter anymore to me.

I’ve lost everything.

I’m a human…or rather, I’m just a piece of trash that doesn’t have anything to begin with.

…no, it’s more accurate to say that I let go of everything myself.

I had such a perfect boyfriend like Yukito, but I betrayed and cheated on him.

I can’t even shed tears anymore, because I have no right to do it.

Instead, all that came out were dry laughs and sighs.

If I were to ask what went wrong, I’d think that even being born was a mistake now.

I’m such a scumbag.

I stare at the door where Senpai left.

I’m sure we will never meet again. I’ve been discarded. Trash belongs in the bin.

It’s just the expected result.

“I think we should end this relationship.”

Senpai said so casually, as if it was an ordinary conversation.

I, who thought that Senpai would confess his feelings to me, was taken aback.

At that moment, I must’ve had a dumbfounded look on my face, I couldn’t understand what he just said.

“W-Why…? D-Don’t you like me, Senpai?”

“Eh? Ah…yeah. I like you.”

“Then!! Why?”

I was desperate, I thought that if I didn’t do anything to stop Senpai at that moment, everything would be lost.

So I yelled, demanding an answer from him.

“I think I’m getting back together with my ex-girlfriend I mentioned before. That’s why I want to end this relationship.”

“T-That’s…that’s just too selfish!!”

Then…what did I do all this for…?

In an instant, I reached my boiling point and began to lash out at Senpai.

“You piece of trash!! Then what did I do all this for…!? Why!?”

“Calm down, Yukina-chan.”

“I can’t calm down!! Whose fault do you think this is!?”

I continued to scream hysterically and hurl insults at Senpai.

After my rage had somewhat subsided, Senpai stood up and began to leave the room.

I panicked and hurriedly grabbed his arm, trying to stop him, but he shook me off.

“S-Senpai…”

“Thank you for everything until now, Yukina-chan. Forget about me and get along well with your boyfriend.”

“……”

“Ah, and…”

Senpai continued.

“You’ve been berating me, but aren’t you just like me, Yukina-chan?”

“…eh?”

“You’re a piece of trash as well. Even though you have a boyfriend, you’d spread your legs for someone else. I know Yukina-chan looked down on me, but no matter how you look at it, you’re a scum just like me.”

“……”

I stood there in shock, unable to say anything back.

“Well, that’s about it. I’ll quit my part-time job, so I don’t think we’ll ever meet again. Good luck. Well then, see you.”

With that, Senpai left the room.

Then…I thought about it with my calm head.

Hey, Senpai.

What you said is true, we are both scums.

We’re the kind of people who are just alive without any purpose, causing trouble for others.

Then, isn’t it strange for Senpai alone to try acting like a human?

After all, that’s what Senpai said, right?

We’re the same.

So, let’s go to the trash can together, okay?