I Came Back from the Dead, Quit Being a Holy Hero, and Just Wanna Shake My Hips in a Harem - Chapter 47 & 48

Chapter 47: Next – Haruya’s Hint

The trade city of Granule was known as the city that never slept.
As a major hub for countless trade routes, there was always someone awake somewhere—especially at night, when the pleasure districts buzzed with life.

That said, the back alleys were a different story.
They twisted and tangled, and once night fell, they became so dark that no one bothered going near them.
The only people who walked those paths were drunks—or those confident in their own strength.

A gas mask man dressed head to toe in black lurked in the shadows of such an alley.

Yes. That was me.

I lay in wait for Hero candidates as “You Are Certified as a Hero of Light Man.”
As I held my breath in the darkness, footsteps echoed closer.

A man with a spear strolled boldly into the alley.
He looked refreshed, like he’d just finished enjoying himself in the pleasure district.

A familiar face.

“—You’re Shun of the Silver Clock, right?”

When I called out in my fabricated voice and stepped out of the shadows, he stopped.
As expected of a seasoned adventurer—he didn’t panic.
He only frowned slightly.

“Huh? Who the hell are you?”

“I wish to cross blades with you.”

I slowly drew the sword at my waist and held it loosely at my side.

The spearman looked me over from head to toe, then spoke with clear annoyance.

“You show up dressed like that and ask for a duel? Looks like you know who I am.”

“They say your spear can pierce the wings of a fly mid-flight with perfect accuracy.”

“Then it can pierce the heart of a creepy bastard in a gas mask too.”

“That is precisely what I desire.”

When I released a silent pressure, urging him to accept the duel, the spearman scratched his neck.

“…Looks like whenever the adventurer scene heats up, idiots like you start popping up.”

“Getting cold feet?”

“No chance.”

“Relax. If you get hurt, I’ll take you to a doctor.”

Maybe it was because I spoke as if the outcome was already decided.
A crack ran through the air between us.

The spearman still looked lazy, but I could feel it—his pulse rising, slowly and surely, as he shifted into combat mode.

A good level of tension.

“Huh? If you get hurt, go see a doctor yourself—!!”

The instant he stepped in—

There was almost no warning.
A twist of the waist, a snap of the arm.

The spear shot straight at me at insane speed.

Nice skill.

I leaned my weight forward and slid my sword along the shaft, catching it cleanly.
I pulled his balance off just enough, redirected the force—

CLING!

The spear slammed into the wall.

At the same moment, I stopped my blade precisely at his neck.

“Huh…? W-What…? M-My spear… read on the very first move? A-Am I dreaming…?”

Yeah—he was shocked, but there was no fear in his eyes.
More than terror, it was disbelief at losing so cleanly.

Overflowing with warrior potential.
Good, good.

“You have a fine arm.”

“Say that after flooring me so easily. What the hell is with that ridiculous outfit—and that stupid strength? So what now… you gonna dump my head in the river?”

“I would not do such a thing.”

As I sheathed my sword, I spoke with absolute certainty.

“You possess the qualities of a Hero of Light.”

The spearman’s mouth fell wide open.

“H-Hero? M-Me? I’m a guy who just came back from messing around at an erotic shop, you know!?”

“Being a filthy pervert and being a Hero are unrelated. In fact, many Heroes are filthy perverts.”

“Eh? You’re seriously saying I’ve got Hero potential?”

“I possess discerning eyes. Do you doubt them?”

“…W-Well, your skills were incredible, but…”

As expected of the adventurer world—a pure meritocracy.
Once you overwhelm someone with sheer skill right from the start, they get honest fast.
You could also say the pecking order became crystal clear.

“Hmph… every person I have acknowledged without exception has become a strong warrior. And that very same me is telling you that you possess the qualities of a Hero.”

When I said that with maximum confidence, the spearman’s eyes began to shine.
His face slowly shifted into one that clearly said, Maybe… yeah… maybe I do…

Aaaalright, alright—Stage One cleared!!

Now then, time to guide him onto the path of Light!

“The Hero of Light life is great. Girls swarm you, royalty and nobles remember your face, and you live a life drowning in attention from all kinds of people.”

“…Then why don’t you become one?”

……

“I lack the aptitude for Light. Look at me—I’m black all over, aren’t I?”

“Yeah, totally dressed in black.”

“Indeed. I look exactly like a being of the abyss. That said, I am not an enemy of the world. I sensed a sign that darkness might one day engulf everything, so I began searching for someone with talent—someone like you. You will become a very big deal in the future. So please, by all means, aim to become a Hero of Light.”

…How’s that?

Yeeeees, yes, yes—
That face says, Maybe aiming for it wouldn’t be so bad.

With a grin hidden behind my gas mask, I quietly turned on my heel.

“Young man… be consumed by the Light…”

Leaving those words behind, I hurriedly slipped away from the scene.

That made three so far.

Whether it was hero worship or just plain ambition, everyone was getting surprisingly into it.

Good, good—this was very convenient for me.

By all means, aim to become a Hero of Light.
The Grand Goddess Church would pounce on you like a pack of starving wolves!

That’s right!
Light isn’t something you search for—it’s something you create!

Fuhahahaha! I shall scatter the buds of Light everywhere!!!

Maybe I should rope in a few more promising candidates while I was at it.

And so, I once again took position in the back alleys.

As I watched from the shadows, a well-built man approached.
Late thirties, maybe.
A calm expression, clearly well-trained.

He carried a sword at his waist, but his gear was light, layered with thick clothing.
Didn’t really look like an adventurer.

…A face I didn’t recognize.

The way he walked screamed strength.

What to do…?

“—Do you have some business with me? That stare is starting to bother me.”

The man stopped and spoke.

……Oh? He noticed my gaze.

Ohhhhh? My interest shot up instantly.

I slowly stepped out from the shadows.

“Who are you? To notice my gaze so easily…”

“…Says the guy wearing a gas mask and dressed head to toe in black.”

“The gas mask is a trendy fashion item.”

“Sorry, I’m not up to date on trends… Care to explain it to me, youngster?”

The man spoke as if he were sizing me up.

Ohooooo? Did he just guess my age from my voice, build, and how I stood?

Ohohohohoho!! This one smelled like a top-tier candidate!

I am not letting you get awayyyyyy!!

…Ah.

I kind of understood how Lily felt now, just a little.

“I wish to cross blades with you.”

“Straight to it, huh… And you don’t look like you plan on losing. You must be pretty confident.”

“The same could be said of you.”

“I’m getting old, you know… I’d rather not do anything that leaves me sore tomorrow.”

I drew my sword and held it loosely.
The man drew his own sword as well, adopting the same relaxed stance.

Mine was a fake stance I normally never used, meant to hide who I really was.
His, on the other hand, had weight and presence behind it.

So—you’re ready to fight.

“Shh!”

I stepped in and slashed horizontally.

Naturally, he met it with his blade.

CLANG!

Sparks scattered.

He’d matched my sword by predicting my speed.
For the next move, he was probably expecting something three levels faster.

Then let’s make it six—or so I thought—

“Hah.”

With a completely relaxed voice, he swung at me at eight levels faster.

You’ve gotta be kidding me???

I jumped back in a panic, barely avoiding it.
Still, the tip of his blade lightly grazed the back of my hand.

No follow-up came.

The man looked just as surprised.

“You dodged that…? Just who are you, exactly?”

“…”

I said nothing and stared at the back of my hand where the blade had grazed me.

It was barely more than a scratch—just a thin cut, blood slowly seeping out.

I’d more than confirmed his skill.

This should’ve been the Hero of Light recruitment route…

But—

……

…………

Seriously!?

It’s been forever since someone actually cut me with a sword!!

“? What’s wrong?”

Unable to contain my excitement, I swung my sword right there on the spot.

Cutting through the wind. Cutting through malice.
Swinging as if I were slicing through space itself.

The man must’ve sensed my true strength—the calm ease vanished from his face.

Fuuuu—haaah…

I synced my breathing with the beat of my heart.

I wanted to trade blows properly, but I couldn’t make a scene.
One decisive exchange—that would do.

The man seemed to understand as well.
He relaxed his stance, releasing a sharply honed killing intent.

Fuu… haa…………

My breathing disappeared.

A shift in center of gravity alone.
A strike with no visible wind-up.

Our blades met again—

And this time, instead of sparks, both swords snapped clean in half.

“They broke—!? Guhhh!! No way!!”

Behind the gas mask, I was grinning ear to ear.

“…Mine was a first-rate blade, you know. Yours looked like a cheap one.”

“It was a single-exchange duel! Sword quality barely matters!”

“…You look way too happy about this.”

“It’s been ages since I fought a master! Hahaha, that was seriously fun! So who are you? Some kind of Sword King in disguise?”

“Hm… So this is your true nature, huh?”

I’d gotten so caught up enjoying myself that I reacted completely honestly.

The man quietly observed me the whole time.

I figured the gas mask would keep me safe.
Still, those eyes—they felt like they could see straight through everything in just a few minutes.

Cold sweat poured down my back.

“Kukuku… you seem to possess the qualities of a Hero of Light. You should aim for it.”

“A Hero of Light? Why don’t you become one?”

“I am of the darkness—”

“Your sword was clean, though. I didn’t sense any malice at all. At the very least, I’ve never seen a swordsman stronger than you. So why not become the Hero of Light yourself? Do you have some connection to this ‘Hero of Light’ you keep talking about?”

“…F-Fuhahahaha! We shall meet again, O one of Light!”

I bolted like a startled rabbit.

It didn’t seem like the man chased after me.

After running for more than ten minutes, I finally leaned against a back-alley wall, gasping.

T-That was close!!

I was this close to having everything exposed!

Man… there really were masters out there I didn’t know about.

I didn’t recognize his face—maybe some knight commander who turned adventurer?

With that level of skill, I should’ve met him in my previous life…

Well, maybe we just barely missed each other.

“Gufufufu… If I ever run into him at the Adventurers’ Guild, I’m definitely going to recommend him.”

He’d probably become a top-famous adventurer in no time.

And if he turned into a Hero of Light candidate? Even better—perfectly convenient for me!

Fuhahahahaha!

Responsibility, you see!! When you spread it out, the burden gets lighter!!

—That said, there had been faint hints here and there.
Less “foreshadowing” and more like obvious signs piling up.

The adventurer scene was booming like crazy.
The Adventurers’ Guild was so understaffed they were constantly recruiting.
Troublemakers calling themselves adventurers kept coming in from outside the city.

And since it was a job that dealt with people, there were those who remembered voices and physiques frighteningly well.

Well then, I’ll just leave you with a few hint words for what came next.

“The New Guild Master.”

Look forward to my next round of brilliance!

…Or rather, my suffering.
Or my self-inflicted disaster.
Or my anguished screaming.

Yeah—something like that.

Chapter 48: Regret Seriously—Like, Seriously—Never Comes First

The next day.

I headed to the Adventurers’ Guild alone, sat at a table in the attached café, and elegantly sipped my tea.

The guild, which was always lively, was even louder than usual today.
Adventurers everywhere were talking about the mysterious gas mask man.

“You too? Did the gas mask guy come after you!?”

“Yeah. In the middle of the night.”

“He was insanely skilled, right!? How’d you make it out alive?”

“It felt like the fight would never end… his swordplay was, like—just absurdly insane, absurdly fast… I pushed him right to the edge, but my old injury flared up…”

The spearman rolled his shoulder as if it still hurt.

It felt like the fight ended in one exchange, but I’ll keep that to myself.

“And then he said it—‘You’re an outstanding man. You have the qualities of a Hero of Light.’”

The spearman said it with a face that was completely, utterly sold.

“You? With your wild womanizing?”

“Hmph… heroes are fond of pleasure, after all.”

“…Sounds like that gas mask guy only shows up in front of skilled adventurers.”

“Exactly. Which means—I’m one of the chosen.”

The spearman looked visibly proud of himself.

At the other tables too, the talk was all about the gas mask man.

“Did you fight the gas mask guy too!?”

“Yeah. It was a good match. …I was this close—just a little more and I would’ve won, but his sword skill edged me out.”

“So he told you too, right? That you’ve got the qualities of a Hero of Light?”

“Damn right. Looks like he sensed the massive talent hidden inside me… Heh. Seems he only shows himself to capable adventurers, huh? Guess I really caught his eye!”

The greatsword user said it with ridiculous pride.

It felt like it ended in the first exchange, but… well, whatever.

Because only skilled adventurers were being “attacked,” and because the gas mask man’s ability was overwhelmingly superior, those who encountered him seemed to treat it as a kind of status symbol.

Inside the guild, the excitement wasn’t just about the gas mask man anymore—talk about the Hero of Light was exploding too.

“If you become a Hero, you’re set for life, right?”

“I heard the benefits are amazing! The Church takes care of everything!”

“They say you get the gods’ blessing! Tons of super useful divine protections!”

“Apparently they’re just a bit strict about manners—that’s it!”

“You can even get close to royal and noble girls!”

“And the responsibility of being a Hero isn’t as heavy as people think!”

The adventurers I’d “attacked” were clearly getting carried away, imagining themselves as Heroes.

““““Maybe I’ll aim to become a Hero of Light!””””

……

……

Fuhahahahaha!!

Go ahead, go ahead!!

By all means—aim for becoming a Hero of Light!

I might’ve exaggerated a bit here and downplayed a bit there, but I didn’t lie.

Even if they didn’t actually become Heroes, there were people everywhere seeking Light (Tera).
I really wanted the churches and gods to take notice of them.

That would surely lead to saving the world—and more importantly, reduce my workload.

Still… everyone was really into it.

Did they all secretly have Hero dreams?

Gufufufu…

As I sipped my tea, I started thinking maybe I’d pick another promising adventurer to challenge tonight.

“—Lord Haruya.”

Lily was standing right beside me, her expression dead serious.

Some tea went straight into my lungs, and I nearly choked dramatically, but I desperately forced myself to stay calm.

“H-Hey. Good morning, Lily.”

“…Good morning. The Adventurers’ Guild seems especially noisy today.”

“Yeah, it does.”

“Apparently, a mysterious gas mask man has been attacking people? Saying things like, ‘You have the qualities of a Hero of Light’? I suppose there really are people in this world who live off nothing but absurd impulses.”

Lily leaned in closer, her face clearly saying, There is exactly one idiot like that in this world, and it’s you.

My hands rattled the teacup and saucer in fear as I gambled on a certain possibility.

“Maybe there’ll be more Hero of Light candidates?”

“…Lord Haruya, that—”

“Even if they don’t become Heroes, we might still find some really good talent, right?”

Lily looked away slightly, then sat down across from me.

“That is quite true. One really wonders which eccentric fool would do such a thing.”

She dismissed it lightly.

Yeah—she’d clearly judged that it benefited the Church.

Maybe this kind of thing was also part of being purified by Kokono’s Light.

As I enjoyed my elegant tea time, Lily’s gaze shifted to my hand.

“Lord Haruya, you’ve injured the back of your hand a little, haven’t you?”

“…I overdid my training.”

“Shall I heal it?”

I gave a wry smile and waved my hand.

“No, it’s fine like this.”

“? Leaving even a small wound untreated is—”

“It’s been a while since I got really absorbed in swordplay. It’s like a medal, so I’ll keep it.”

“I don’t quite understand, but I can tell that you’re making the face of a boy, Lord Haruya.”

…So that’s the kind of face I had.

Well, swordsmanship was the one thing I truly took pride in.

Meeting a pure martial master—someone who didn’t rely on holy arts or magic—was something that genuinely made me happy.

Come to think of it…

I wondered if that master from last night was in the guild today.

As I looked around—

I saw Sweet, the bespectacled guild staff member, emerging from the back room with a man.

Huh? That master guy from yesterday?

Why was he coming out of the back room?

Sweet followed him almost like a subordinate.

The man from last night, now carrying a new sword at his waist, stepped out before the gathered adventurers.

“Good day, adventurers.”

His light but clearly carrying voice drew everyone’s attention.

After a brief pause, he spoke again—this time in a friendly, familiar tone.

“Allow me to introduce myself. I have taken over as the Adventurers’ Guild Master of Granule, replacing my predecessor who has entered long-term recovery. My name is Dangen. I look forward to working with you all. …You all have good faces. The guild is full of energy. Though I’ve retired from being an adventurer, my blood still stirs.”

The new… Guild Master…?

Slowly. Very slowly.

I felt the blood drain from my face.

The unusual presence of the man calling himself Dangen sent murmurs rippling through the adventurers.

“Dangen? H-Hey, no way!?”

“Don’t tell me—that Dangen!?”

“‘Dangen of Deadly Roads’!?”

“He was working at the guild this whole time!?”

“Whoa—after this, I’m getting his autograph!”

“Is he famous?”

“Idiot! If you don’t know Dangen, then—”

………

At that moment, I was pretty sure I aged about ten years in an instant.

Dangen of Deadly Roads.

A man said to walk through any battlefield, any death trap, as if taking a casual stroll.

I’d heard the rumors even in my previous life.

I’d been told he’d withdrawn from the front lines due to old injuries and moved into support work.

So…

Did I… just pick a fight with the Guild Master?

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO—!!

I desperately resisted the urge to collapse and roll around on the floor.

The reason the Guild Master himself had come out to greet everyone was way too easy to guess.

My stomach churned violently.

Dangen swept his gaze across the guild and continued speaking.

“About that gas mask man everyone’s been whispering about… I was attacked by him last night as well. Honestly, getting old isn’t great—I was beaten soundly.”

Our swords just broke, that’s all! And you clearly still had plenty of strength left, didn’t you!?

The adventurers around him erupted.

“Even Dangen got beaten badly!?”

“N-No way!!”

“Is the gas mask guy’s strength seriously limitless!?”

Those who’d been saying they fought him evenly suddenly stared off into the distance, pretending not to hear a thing.

I-It’s a lie!! That old man is lying his ass off!!

“There is no one whose sword skill impressed me more. Why does he hide his identity? Why does he attack adventurers and then invite them to become Heroes of Light? He hinted at a crisis facing the world, but… I believe there is another reason. I spent the night carefully thinking about it while tending to my defeat.”

…H-He’s probing.

No doubt about it—he was gauging everyone’s reactions.

Looks like he’d already guessed the gas mask man was an adventurer.

T-This is bad, this is bad!!

I needed to leave right now.

I tried to stand up as naturally and quietly as possible—

“Where are you going, Lord Haruya?”

Lily stopped me cold.

“Huh? Oh, uh, I was just going to the restroom—eh!?”

Dangen’s eyes locked onto me with terrifying sharpness.

I put on a what, me? kind of smile, but his expression didn’t change at all.

Then, as if he’d finished observing, he slowly walked straight toward me.

Even when Sweet called out, “Guild Master Dangen?” and despite the curious stares around us, he ignored everything and stepped right in front of me—blocking my path.

“What’s your name, lad?”

“Heheheh… I’m just a lowly pack mule, y’see… Don’t have a name worth telling a fine sir like yourself…”

I pitched my voice weirdly and rubbed my hands together like crazy, hiding the back of my hand.

S-So… how about that…?

Aaaa—yeah, no, impossible.

That is absolutely the face of a man thinking, It’s this guy.

U-Unooooooooohhhhhhhh!!

“Guild Master Dangen, this is Lord Haruya Arden.”

Sweet caught up and said it flat-out.

“This one? The Haruya Arden?”

“Yes. Haruya Arden—highly skilled, yet stubbornly refuses to get promoted.”

Dangen stared straight at me, sweat pouring down my face.

He probably hadn’t reached the full truth.

But did he realize I’d done all that just to dodge duties and responsibility…?

I forced a tiny, awkward smile.

Dangen quietly smiled back.

“…I did lose last night, after all. Ordinarily, the dead tell no tales.”

He muttered that to himself and stepped away from me.

While I stood there dumbfounded, Dangen suddenly shouted toward the adventurers.

“The rumored gas mask man! Far stronger than even I, Dangen of Deadly Roads! If he were to lend his strength to this Adventurers’ Guild—no, to the entire adventuring world—our momentum would surge! And beyond that… a glorious era surely awaits us!”

For just a moment—just a brief moment—Dangen smiled like a mischievous boy.

Then, as if flipping a switch, he returned to the calm, composed expression of a man befitting his age and continued.

“So then! Whoever brings the gas mask man to me… will receive a pouch of gold from the guild, along with a special reward!”

A sudden surprise quest.

And coming directly from the Guild Master himself, no less—the guild erupted into cheers.

Y-You… you old man!! What the hell are you saying all of a sudden!?!?

The situation just went completely off the rails!!

I stood there with my mouth hanging open, brain short-circuiting, when my eyes met Lily’s.

She was calmly observing the chaos.

I tried to ask for help with my eyes.

“L-Lily… uh, listen…”

“The mysterious gas mask man… I wonder what sort of frivolous fellow he might be?”

“…Uh—he’s probably super popular with girls, and definitely a really nice, great guy.”

Lily’s eyes were already calculating how to get the most out of this situation.

Because she was my ally—precisely because she was my ally—I instantly understood she’d switched sides.

“I imagine he’s the kind of person who sprints full speed straight into very obvious pitfalls.”

I-Is he really?
M-Maybe?

…But is he really!?