I Came Back from the Dead, Quit Being a Holy Hero, and Just Wanna Shake My Hips in a Harem - Chapter 45 & 46

Chapter 45: Even Bad Reputation Is Still a Reputation

After slaying the dragon, we marched back to the Adventurers’ Guild in high spirits—well, mostly high spirits. One of us was wobbling like a zombie, for complicated reasons.

Word had already spread, and adventurers crowded around, welcoming the girls with open excitement.

“I heard it! You guys took down a dragon!”
“They say you beat it with holy magic—is that true!?”

“What, you don’t know!? That’s the miracle of the Grand Goddess Church—Priestess Lily Alshiana herself! The so-called Iron Maiden! Her ironclad faith smashes evil to pieces! A priestess isn’t just about protecting allies, y’know!”

Lily tilted her head and gave a polite bow.

“Ooooh!” The guild erupted in cheers.

“But dragons are tough as hell, right!?”
“How did your magic even work on it!?”

“What, you still don’t know either!? Their party’s got Yin Princess Kokono Jukai! When the shrine maiden of Kamunkotan starts dancing, she gives her allies unbelievable power! She’s not just some cute, delicate girl!”

Kokono bowed repeatedly, her cheeks flushing bright red.

“Ooooooh!” The excitement swelled another notch.

“But I heard the ruined castle turned into a dungeon—full of twists and passages!”
“You cleared it all that fast!?”

“What, you really don’t know!? Their party’s got the noble thief Filio Valshad! He controls a magic ring, excels at ranged combat, and he’s a master scout! Recon, detection, trap disarming, treasure chests—you name it, he handles it!”

Filio gave a slightly troubled smile, then bowed gracefully, true to her noble upbringing.

“Oooooooooh!” 

The roar grew even louder, and amid the chaos, one particularly enthusiastic hype man shouted:

“These three right here! They’re the new generation of adventurers who brought down a dragon!”

That hype man, of course, was me.

I’d been introducing the three girls nonstop, praising them while very carefully leaving out the parts that were better kept secret—like the succubus stuff.

“Don’t miss the brilliance of these three beautiful heroines!”

Not a Hero’s Party—but Three Beautiful Girls + One Weird Guy. That was the angle.

If you want to hide a leaf, you hide it in a forest.
So where do you hide a light?

Right—by placing it next to something that shines even brighter.

Fuhaha! Lift them up! Higher and higher!

“So, what were you doing, then?”

A rough-looking swordsman called out to me

“Obviously? I was praising my companions!”

“That’s not what I meant.”
“What were you actually useful for?”

There it was. 

That question—I’d been waiting for it!

“I was cheering them on while shaking my hips! That makes me the ultimate pack mule—Haruya Arden, at your service!”

Cold, unimpressed looks shot at me from all directions.

Fuhahahahaha! How about that, Lily!?
The more attention I get, the harder I clown myself into being known as a loud, pathetic fool!

My name’s already famous for bad reasons anyway!

“Alright, here we go—hip shake, hip shake!”

“I get it already.”
“H-Hip shake… huh?”

“You just want all the credit to go to your companions, right? You put others’ glory first, don’t care about your own, and stand up when it matters—that’s the kind of guy you are.”

“Huh? N-No way—there’s no way someone that convenient even exists—”

“I heard you were the swordsman who made waves in Kamunkotan.”

Voices exploded around us.

“Oh! I’ve heard that story!”
“That was you, Haruya!?”
“They say your sword technique was insanely clean!”

Just like that, everyone’s attention snapped back to me.

The Kamunkotan incident was supposed to be handled as a church matter—so how did that leak?
And more importantly… why were people believing this so easily when my bad reputation was already legendary!?

“N-No, really… I’m just a guy aiming for a harem, that’s all—”

Before I could finish, a man with the gentle smile of a pure-love idealist stepped forward.

“So you say that, but deepening bonds with your companions isn’t so bad either, right?”

“Huh? W-Well… I might’ve said something like that…”

“You keep calling yourself the Harem King, but you still haven’t lost your virginity, have you?”

I’m just struggling to find the right timing, okay!?

And it’s not like irresponsible sex is easy when every girl involved is a complicated case!!

While I stood there, utterly thrown off, praise started popping up from all sides.

“Well, he does work pretty hard.”
“I heard he helps out with those sketchy red-envelope quests too.”
“He always comes back without anyone getting hurt.”
“Becoming Silver-Iron rank in half a year is kind of insane.”
“Even his companions say, ‘He’s a loudmouthed goof, but he’s actually dependable.’”

I snapped my gaze straight to Lily.

She met my eyes and silently conveyed: ‘Crude image manipulation and cheap information warfare are meaningless. What matters is consistent groundwork and the impressions of those closest to you.’

Lily! Lily!! Lily!!!

My bad reputation was flipping—completely turning inside out.

People were starting to see me as a genuinely good guy…!

Don’t underestimate me!!
There is someone in this guild who genuinely hates my guts!!

I scanned the room and found her—the mage with a permanent scowl, sitting at a table.

Perfect.

I shuffled toward her, hips wobbling exaggeratedly.

“Heeey, hey, heeey—what’s up, what’s up~?”

“…Ugh. Gross. Don’t talk to me.”

“Oh? Someone cranky because I’m getting good reviews?”

“…Seriously, you’re disgusting.”

“Sorryyy~ looks like I accidentally did something impressive~?”

“Hah. Obviously not. There’s no way trash with zero class like you could accomplish anything.”

She reacted like my existence offended her on a biological level.

Hehehe. Perfect.

She’d hated me since day one—physically cannot stand me levels of hate.

Please, by all means, keep hating me forever.
That hostility was vital for maintaining my bad reputation.

As I flashed my most garbage-human grin, Kokono trotted over and spoke gently.

“Haruya is a really kind person, you know~?”

“Haa? Aren’t you being totally fooled?”

“He helped me when I was in real trouble~”

Kokono’s warm smile never wavered.

Kokono… I appreciate the defense, but there are people who hate others for no rational reason.

…Or so I thought.

“…I know,” the mage muttered.
“I know Haruya’s a good guy.”

Huhhhhh???

She shot me a sharp glare.

“…Haruya. Do you remember how we first met?”

“At the guild? I mean… yeah. You hated me from the start—”

“That’s not it! Ugh—this is so annoying! You don’t even remember my name, do you!?”

“Arumi… right?”

“A-ke-mi! Akemi! See!? I’m the only one who remembers anything!”

Akemi slammed her hands on the table and stood up.

Sharp eyes. Fierce brows. Always-angry face.
Glossy black twin-tails swayed as she leaned forward, cheeks flushed.

She pointed straight at me.

“Haruya—you’ve officially formed an adventurer party now, right?”

“Y-Yeah…”

“Hmph. Fine. I’ll be watching how far you make it. This Akemi of the Crimson Knights will be keeping her eye on you!”

She turned away with a sharp hmph, arms crossed.

I had no idea what history she thought we shared, but I’d somehow just gained a rival.

The crowd loved it.

“Whoa, Haruya! Rival declaration!”
“The adventurer scene’s heating up!”
“This feels like youth!”

Knock it off already!!
Stop dragging me into drama I never signed up for!!

Grrr… damn it…!

If that’s how it’s gonna be, then fine—maybe I should take on a high-difficulty quest.

Make it look like an overconfident rookie biting off more than he can chew—take my time… and fail spectacularly!

“Which quest has the highest difficulty right now!?”

I shouted toward the bespectacled guild staff.

By the way, her name was Sweet.

Sweet adjusted her glasses, light glinting off them.

“W-We do have one meant for specialist adventurers, but…”

“That’s perfect! I, Haruya Arden, shall breeze through it in no time!”

“…Are you absolutely sure about this?”

“Of course! Only by conquering hardship and suffering can one become a shining star of the adventurer world!! Right, everyone!?”

“Ooooooh!”

Cheers, applause—and even chants of Haruya! filled the hall.

Yes, yes, lift me up! Higher! Higher!
That way, when I fall, it’ll be gloriously pathetic!

“Then, Sir Haruya, we’ll be entrusting you with a subjugation of undead spirits.”

…Yeah.

I could already see exactly how this was going to go wrong.

Chapter 46: A Clever Idea Doesn’t Always Mean the Best One

The grand hall of a decaying mansion.
What was once a ballroom meant to entertain noble guests now hosted a very different kind of dance.

Chairs, paintings, elegant dresses once worn by noble ladies—all of them floated and spun wildly through the darkness.

A poltergeist. Worse, one being controlled by a wraith.

The fact that it already commanded minions placed it firmly in the high-tier danger category, and on top of that, it was an undead-type monster.
No wonder the Adventurers’ Guild had labeled this quest high difficulty.

We carefully avoided the flying furniture while keeping our eyes on the true threat looming ahead—a massive skeleton.

Only its upper body remained, semi-transparent and glowing a faint blue.
It drifted through the air as if suspended by invisible strings, a tattered lace veil draped over its skull.

Its voice echoed through the hall, thick with resentment.

“Sad… so sad… I want flesh…”

Kokono opened her iron fan and gently tried to speak with it.

“Won’t you tell me your story~?”

At her soft, unhurried voice, the giant skeleton paused midair.

“Sad… so sad… will you share your flesh with me…?”

“Why are you so sad~?”

“Will you give me flesh…? Will you let me eat…?”

“…That’s unfortunate, but Kokono’s flesh doesn’t taste very good~I might still be inexperienced as a spirit medium, but I can hear your voice, so—gyah!”

The giant skeleton suddenly slammed its right arm down.

Kokono leapt away just in time, narrowly avoiding the blow.

The skeleton rattled violently, bones clacking together as its bitter, hateful voice filled the entire hall.

“Will you give me flesh!? Will you give me flesh alreadyyyyy!!?”

“Talk failed~ sorry~”

Kokono apologized to us with a troubled look.

I sliced through a rampaging noblewoman’s dress with my sword and called out,

“If talking didn’t work, we’ll try something else! You can exorcise it, Kokono!”

“Yup~ leave it to me. Yin Princess Kokono Jukai shall dance to bring peace~”

Kokono raised her iron fan and began to dance—swaying lightly, step by step, her movements calm and flowing.

She was planning to face the high-ranking wraith head-on, alone.

The rest of us focused on holding back the surrounding poltergeists to support her.

This had been Kokono’s idea from the very beginning.

Before we’d entered the mansion, she’d smiled softly and said, “I’ll exorcise the spirit by myself~”

Unlike that fake spirit Jangajanga that had possessed Amhaya, this one had its core fully exposed.
The Holy Sword would’ve worked just fine here.

Even so, Kokono hadn’t asked for my help.
She’d simply told me to leave it to her.

“…Why?”

“Because it’s something I want to do~ If it’s something I can do, I want to give it my all.”

“…No, I mean—what about me?”

“If Haruya truly wanted to do it, I’d ask you~”

She said that gently, never losing her smile.

“But you don’t look like you really want to right now~ So I won’t ask.”

“…Are you really okay with that?”

“Mhm~ Because this is something I genuinely want to do. Yay~”

Such a good girl. Truly a very good girl.

Thanks to that, I could take it super easy.

If I kept abusing the Holy Sword at this rate, rumors would eventually spread.
And once that happened, the goddess might notice me—and that was the last thing I wanted.

So yeah, not using it was absolutely the right call.

Was it really okay for me not to fight the boss wraith myself?

Of course it was.
I’d gladly lean on my companions.
I’d relax as much as possible.

And if things dragged on too long—retreat it is.

“Clap and chee—oh!”

Kokono tried to resume her dance, but focusing too hard on dodging the giant skeleton’s attacks made her steps clumsy and unsteady.

…Well, if she asked for help, I’d rush in immediately.

“Fufuu~ I’ve trained a lot, you know~ This is totally manageable~”

She said that just to reassure me.

…If she even glanced at me for help, I’d move right away.

“Clap and cheer, let us dance—Dance of Spirit Subjugation!”

After gliding across the floor like she was skating on ice, Kokono pointed her iron fan toward the massive skeleton.

She fluttered the fan like a butterfly, trying to seize control of the wraith through her dance.

Whether it was the effect of her ritual or not, the giant skeleton’s movements suddenly slowed to a crawl.

“Looks like it’s been charmed by my dance~ But wow, it’s heavy~…”

Heavy!?

Hey—are you okay!? You are okay, right!?

Kokono didn’t turn around.
She kept her back to me, bracing herself with all her strength.

That small back said everything—this is what I want to do.

She had no intention of asking for help. Not even a little.

…W-Well?

If Kokono wanted to do her best, then that was fine, right?
If she didn’t need help, then there was no reason for me to butt in, right?

Yes! This was all for nurturing Kokono’s independence!
The best thing to do was to watch over her warmly!

Hehehe, guess I’d just lean back and take it easy!
It’s not like I’m the type to get moved by emotions that easily anyway!

“—Holy Blade: Draw Slash”

◯◯◯

Nighttime along the great river of the trade city Granule.

Guided by the glow of magically lit streetlamps lining the promenade, I trudged along alone on the way back from the quest, completely drained.
The distant horn of a ferry echoed faintly as I slumped my shoulders in exhaustion.

I didn’t remember what happened inside the mansion.

No—technically, I did remember.
I just didn’t want to.

I remembered Lily and Filio’s faces, both wearing those “see, this is why” smiles.
I remembered Kokono clinging to me, looking apologetic—but also oddly happy.

“…Well, as long as nobody got hurt.”

The high-difficulty quest was cleared without much trouble.
And we were probably going to draw even more attention now.

For the moment, though—the real problem was still ahead.

“Damn it, you annoying piece-of-shit armor! I can see you sneaking around!”

Every time I turned around, that armor was hiding behind a building… or lurking in the bushes…
And worse, it was inching closer little by little.

What is this, a horror movie!?

“Grrrrr…!”

From the armor, I could feel this sticky pressure, like it was saying, ‘I was watching, you know~? You really do have the makings of Light, don’t you~?’

Now that it had its chance, it was chasing me relentlessly.

“Get lost! I’ll throw you straight into the river!”

When I turned around again, the damn armor was sitting right on a nearby bench.

It shone brightly—sparkle!—like it was saying, ‘Go on, hurry up and put me on~’

I scratched my head hard and snapped back at it.

“Listen here. I’ve got zero intention of becoming a Hero. Never did. It’s just not my thing.”

The armor pushed back with a pressure that clearly said, ‘Reeeeally?’

“…Maybe you sensed some goodness in me, but come on—that stuff exists in most people. Sure, I’ve got a tiny fragment of it too. But my true nature is pure perversion. I am the future Harem King—Haruya Arden!”

The armor responded with a pressure that felt like, ‘Says the guy who keeps losing to girls?’

“W-Well… okay, I do lose!  But in my fantasies, I’m undefeated, alright!? The girls are soaking wet, I tell you!!”

Maybe I was too forceful.
Maybe it decided it couldn’t keep up with my dirty talk.
Or maybe it figured it was only a matter of time.

Either way, the annoying piece-of-shit armor slowly faded away into nothing.

“Guh… haaah. Man, what a pain.”

I dropped onto a bench and stared at the great river, faintly glowing under the moonlight.

It wasn’t the Hero of Light route anymore, but it still felt like I was walking down some other kind of hero path.

When I thought about who was pushing me along like this, the only answer was fate.

Sure, Lily’s behind-the-scenes producing probably played a part—and yeah, my own terrible timing too.
But more than anything, it felt like whenever I acted the way I wanted to, things just naturally ended up like this.

“If my existence ever gets found out…”

Standing before a light capable of illuminating the world—what would Lady Flora think?
What would the other gods think?

It wasn’t just the Grand Goddess Church.
There were plenty of other sects that believed in salvation through Light (Tera).

If this blew up, the trouble would only multiply.

“…If there’s no Demon King left, does that mean another Hero won’t appear?”

Right after Demon King Chronova died, a replacement king wasn’t going to pop up anytime soon.
Chronova himself had been an abnormal case to begin with.

Unlike my previous life, there was no need to forcibly raise a “demon-slaying Hero.”

I grabbed my head and stared down at the ground.

Even if I tried to run away now, it felt like fate would chase me down as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

Maybe escaping fate was harder than I wanted to believe.

Wasn’t there… some kind of convenient solution?

It didn’t have to be fast.
Something where the spotlight landed on someone else… where responsibility got nicely spread out…

A perfect, convenient solution like that surely didn’t—

…………Ah!

N-No, no, no, that could turn into a huge mess…!
And there’s no guarantee it’d even work…!!

Yeah… no.
Let’s not. Definitely not.

If Lily found out, I’d get absolutely destroyed.

Better behave.
Self-restraint is important. Very important. Haha…

“Alright, let’s head back.”

When I lifted my face and said that, I realized I probably looked strangely refreshed.

〇〇〇

The clock tower of the trade city, Granule.

Under the cold night wind, with the moon at his back, a man in a gas mask (brand new) stood silently.
Clad in black clothes that blended into the darkness, he struck a strangely melancholic pose.

…Yeah. This felt like a scene I’d seen somewhere before.

My name was the Mysterious Gas Mask Man Haruuya.
And my other name was—

“Behold this extremely suspicious outfit! I challenge promising adventurers to duels! Because I’ve realized something important—Light isn’t something you find, it’s something you create! Yes! My name is ‘You Are Certified as a Hero of Light Man!’ I’ll go around arbitrarily declaring people to have Hero potential!”

You! 

You there!
And you too!

Everyone—everyone—is a Hero of Light!

Fuhahahahahahaha!

The Mass Hero of Light Production Plan has begun!!