I Came Back from the Dead, Quit Being a Holy Hero, and Just Wanna Shake My Hips in a Harem - Chapter 43: Everyone Gets Along

Chapter 43: Everyone Gets Along

It was a lazy afternoon at the Adventurers’ Guild.
As usual, the place was absolutely packed—people coming and going nonstop.

Even the reception area had a waiting line now, so we decided to hang out in the café-slash-tavern attached to the guild until our turn came up.
Once our number was called, we got up and headed to the counter, with Filio leading the way—our proud Platinum Rank beauty.

When she brought up the topic of renting a guild house, the bespectacled receptionist—a gorgeous woman with perfect posture—gave her a polite nod.

“Lord Filio, you meet all the requirements.”

“Great! So with me around, we should be able to rent a guild house for our party, right? We’ve cleared a decent number of quests together already.”

“Before that, however… there’s one issue. Your party hasn’t been officially registered yet.”

Every gaze immediately turned toward me—the supposed “leader” of the group.
Their eyes all said the same thing: Care to explain, mister responsible?

I raised both hands in surrender and declared boldly,

“Fuhaha! You got me! Indeed, I have not submitted the registration form!”

“You simply forgot to update it from the temporary party status, didn’t you, Lord Haruya?”

Lily’s unimpressed tone hit like a dagger.

“Yes, yes, exactly right. My bad.”

We’d kept ourselves under temporary registration so I could stay as uncommitted—and therefore as free—as possible.
Somewhere along the way, I’d started thinking we were already an official party, but… yeah. Turns out we never actually filed the paperwork.
Guess we’d all just been winging it this whole time.

Filio scratched her cheek awkwardly and turned to the receptionist with a sheepish smile.

“Um, so… how do we go about making it official? Would it be possible for me to temporarily rent a few private guild houses under my name?”

“With your contribution level, Lord Filio, you could easily own multiple personal guild houses… but unfortunately, every single one in Granule is currently occupied.”

“So the only ones left are for adventurer parties, then?”

“Even those are nearly full. In such cases, priority goes to officially registered parties with a proven record of achievements.”

Oh-ho-ho, now that’s what I call a lucky break.
I quickly hid my grin and put on my best ‘Oh dear, what a shame’ face.

“That’s rough. Even if we register now, it’s probably too late, huh…”

Lily narrowed her eyes at me, clearly not fooled for a second.

“Don’t make that conveniently smug face. …Would the guild still take our past accomplishments into account during evaluation?”

“Of course! Your previous record will absolutely be recognized. You’d just need to take on a few quests under your newly registered party name, and everything would be made official. You’ve already established quite an impressive track record.”

Oh. So they do count past achievements, huh.

Relieved, Lily proceeded with the paperwork.

“Then, I’d like to submit our application for full registration.”

“Understood. I’ll convert your temporary registration into a permanent one… and what would you like as your party name?”

The bespectacled receptionist asked while jotting notes onto the form.

Lily immediately turned her gaze toward me—and before I knew it, Filio and Kokono were looking at me too.

Apparently, they’d all silently agreed that I was the one responsible for naming us.

The receptionist adjusted her glasses, waiting patiently.

“Lord Haruya, what will the party name be?”

A party name, huh…
Heh. Never thought I’d end up forming a team with these three again.
It felt kind of the same as before… but also different—a new kind of bond altogether.
In that case, there was only one name worthy of it.

I straightened my back, looked proudly at my companions, and declared:

“Obviously—The Masturbation Lovers’ Club!”

The receptionist froze.
She blinked several times, her eyes darting side to side like her brain had just crashed.
Then, with shaky hands, she took off her glasses, wiped them carefully, and asked in a trembling voice:

“E-Excuse me… I-I’m terribly sorry, but could you please repeat that?”

“Sure! The Masturbation Lovers’ Club!”

“M-M-Ma… mastur…?”

“Our unbreakable bond, sealed through—mmmgh!?”

Before I could finish my glorious declaration, Lily and Filio both lunged forward and slapped their hands over my mouth.

The guild went dead silent for half a second—then erupted into curious whispers.
Meanwhile, I flailed around in protest.

“What’s the big idea!? It’s a beautiful name! Why stop me!?”

“Lord Haruya, is this… part of your kink?”

“Kink!? No! Not at all! Don’t you remember how emotional it was when I first shouted that name? It had that whole ‘we might be idiots, but we’re in this together’ vibe! It was practically moving!”

“…You’re actually serious, aren’t you. I’ll admit, the emotion was there—but imagine having to introduce ourselves with that name.”

I suddenly noticed the stares around us—like we were some kind of bizarre street performance.

Ah… right.

“The Masturbation Lovers’ Club” probably wasn’t the most socially acceptable party name.
Yeah… it was called “The Masturbation Lovers’ Club,” after all.
Still, maybe—just maybe—I could sneak it into the registry when no one was looking…?

As I was silently scolding myself for being way too numb to dirty jokes, Kokono smiled sweetly.

“I think it’s a nice name~”

Angel. No—Yin Princess. Please, never change.

But Lily quickly stepped in, shaking her head with a sigh.

“That won’t do. The more you indulge Lord Haruya, the wilder he gets.”

“…Oh? Then you must have a better suggestion, Lily.”

“Me?”

She blinked in surprise, then cleared her throat elegantly.

“In that case… how about ‘The Grand Goddess Church, 13th Branch’?”

“Rejected!! Absolutely not!!”

“My, my. Someone sounds rather displeased.”

“You’re just trying to drag us under church control again, aren’t you!?”

Of course she was! Given half the chance, this woman would baptize the entire planet in the name of the Great Goddess!

While Lily and I glared daggers at each other, Filio raised both hands in exasperation.

“Okay, okay, break it up! Let’s talk this out calmly. Maybe we can find a name everyone’s happy with.”

“Fine, your turn, Filio.”

“Eh? Me?”

“Perhaps Filio will come up with something we can all agree on,” Lily added with a teasing smile.

Filio froze as both Lily and I turned our gazes on her—clearly not expecting the spotlight to swing her way.
She sat there for a moment, looking like a startled cat… then puffed out her chest and flashed a confident smile.

With a graceful twirl of her skirt, she struck a dramatic pose, covering half her face with one hand.

“The party name I came up with is… The Noble Thieves ☆ Twinkle ☆ Sparkle Star Brigade! And of course, everyone gets their own cool title too!”

“…That’s… kinda embarrassing.”

I decided to be honest this time—though in my previous life, I’d smiled through this exact brand of nonsense before.
Yeah, this was definitely one of those familiar moments.
Even Lily looked a little embarrassed this time.

“E-Embarrassing!?”

“I mean, come on. I’m an adult now…”

“There’s nothing more embarrassing than ‘The Masturbation Lovers’ Club!’”

“What!? Masturbation is one of humanity’s sacred mysteries! There’s nothing to be ashamed of!”

And just like that, the three of us were back at it again—bickering loud enough to turn every head in the guild.
Honestly, we probably deserved the stares.
I mean, who wouldn’t look when there’s a bunch of idiots yelling “masturbation” over and over in broad daylight?

The poor receptionist just watched us in silence, her face perfectly blank—like she’d ascended to a higher plane of patience.
Judging by her expression, she’d already decided that dealing with us any further would only shorten her lifespan.

So, wisely, she turned toward Kokono instead.

“……Lady Kokono, do you perhaps have any ideas for a party name?”

Kokono blinked in mild confusion, then smiled softly—her usual warm, gentle glow instantly lighting up the whole room.

“As long as everyone’s smiling, anything’s fine with me~”

“““Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah…”””

The three of us squirmed like we’d just been hit with a purification spell.
Even Lily, a literal priestess, looked like she’d just been spiritually cleansed.
Come on, you’re supposed to be the one doing the purifying, not the one getting purified!

While we were still basking in Kokono’s divine aura of wholesomeness, the receptionist calmly took matters into her own hands.

“For now, I’ve temporarily registered your party under the name ‘The Guardians of Kokono’s Smile.’ …Any objections?”

“““None.”””

“…My smile?”

We all nodded weakly, completely drained of our earlier chaos—like sinners who’d seen the light.

The receptionist continued briskly, unfazed by the emotional wreckage she’d just witnessed.

“Your party has now been officially registered. If you complete a few more quests, your accumulated record will qualify you to rent a guild house. Please note, however, that most guild houses in Granule are nearly full, so I recommend applying as soon as possible.”

The moment I heard that, a lightbulb went off in my head.

If we just took things slow—nice and easy—I could totally dodge all those annoying “responsibilities” and “duties” that came with renting a guild house.
I’d drag my feet just enough not to cause trouble, steer the situation in my favor, and live the good, lazy life.

If we kept things low-key, we wouldn’t draw attention.
And best of all—Goddess Flora wouldn’t notice me!

Fuhahahahaha! Genius! Absolute genius! I’d outsmarted fate itself!

…Or so I thought.

I’d completely forgotten something painfully obvious.
Probably because I’d been too busy lately—you know, drowning in lust and stupidity.

Oh right… back in our previous life, we were the Hero’s Party of Light.
Yeah. The strongest team around.