I Came Back from the Dead, Quit Being a Holy Hero, and Just Wanna Shake My Hips in a Harem - Chapter 13: Defy Fate (For the Harem)!

Chapter 13: Defy Fate (For the Harem)!

TLN:

I made a big mistake in the last chapter.
Fixed.

“I mean, I was the Hero.

And she (Filio) was a cute, busty girl who used “boku” like a boy.

So I let it slide.”

Shining like the sun, her golden hair sparkled with radiant brilliance.

Her eyes, as clear as a tropical sea, overflowed with curiosity.

With her charmingly boyish features, she wore a blouse and pants—probably due to her scout class—making her look like a gallant noblewoman in disguise.

Though, her chest looked like it might burst out of her shirt at any moment.

Even if she was a prince-like, boku-talking, big-breasted beauty…

I couldn’t let my guard down.

Filio Valshad—the so-called chivalrous thief—was no ordinary girl.

She was someone of incredibly high status.

“—Cut it out! Can’t you see the girls are uncomfortable?”

Filio glared at me with a noble intensity.

A gentle breeze swept through the moment—

And I frowned.

That wind… it was far too nostalgic.

Right. She used to sneak out of her noble estate all the time, pretending to be one of the commoners.

A real noble tomboy, through and through.

Here’s how I figured out Filio’s true identity in my past life:

As usual, she dragged me into a quest.

“Hero! An evil noble’s taken a princess hostage! Come—we’ve gotta rescue her!”

I thought she was just being dramatic.

But the request?

It was totally official. 100% legit.

Still half in doubt, I followed her into a noble’s mansion.

We somehow made it through the trap-filled corridors and finally reached the grand hall—

When, for some reason, a giant spotlight beamed right down on me.

And then—

With that dazzling smile, Filio turned to me and declared:

“Behold! That is none other than Haruya Arden—the Hero of Pure White Porcelain!”

The grand hall was packed with nobles, all gathered just to get a look at me.

“Surprise, Hero!”

I still remember that smug little grin Filio wore.

If I hadn’t actually been the Hero—

And if she hadn’t been a busty, baby-faced blonde beauty…

There’s no way I would’ve let that slide.

After that absurdly dramatic Hero reveal party, I officially set foot on the Hero’s path.

Quests got tougher.

Expectations shot through the roof.

And everything just became way more of a hassle.

………….

Never again. I am never getting involved with royalty or nobility ever again!

“What’s your problem, ha!?”

Yeah—I went full thug mode and tried to intimidate her.

“I’m Filio Valshad! A chivalrous thief who helps the weak and defeats evil!”

“Tch. Like some goody-goody thief like that actually exists!”

Still using the same old intro, huh?

Not even a single eye-roll from the surrounding adventurers this time.

Filio’s radiant princely aura had them completely charmed.

Total cheat move.

“And you are? Since I gave my name, it’s only proper that you return the favor.”

“Proper!? What, did you hit your head or something!? I don’t owe you squat!”

Proper, proper, proper…

Heard that word so many times in my past life it gave me psychic trauma.

What makes her truly terrifying isn’t her strength or her social standing.

It’s the way she’ll smile and march headfirst into danger—

If it means making others smile in return.

Her adorable noble-prince expression hadn’t even flinched.

But I could tell.

She was seriously pissed.

She absolutely loathes arrogant, violent types.

“…Sounds like someone skipped their manners lesson.”

“Dahaha! That’s ‘cause I’m just your average wild, uncivilized adventurer—no noble upbringing here!”

Nice, nice!

That favorability score just took a nosedive!

Sure, pissing off someone super important is risky business…

But hey—I wasn’t planning to ever see her again anyway.

As I kept up my bottom-feeder act, the beautiful, bespectacled receptionist suddenly chimed in.

“Sir Haruya, what’s with the act today?”

Filio blinked.

“…Wait, this is Haruya Arden?”

“Yes, this is Sir Haruya. Normally he’s just a bit lazy—he’s not actually violent.”

Can you NOT blow my cover!? I’m begging you!

Filio gave me a long, suspicious once-over.

“I see… so you’re the infamous Haruya Arden.”

W-Whoa, okay—way less sparkle in her eyes now.

Wait—infamous?

Hold up… was I already making headlines?

Oh… right.

Guess I did stir up a little attention with that whole “unprecedented feat since the Guild’s founding” or whatever.

Which means, knowing Filio and her usual logic, she probably thought:

“It’s not proper for a talented adventurer to be slacking off at Bronze Rank!”

So she tracked me down, huh?

She always had ridiculously high hopes for anyone with potential…

“I’ve heard all about you. Just soaking in that comfy little Bronze Rank bathwater, huh?”

Called it—!

And lemme guess…

Next up: the classic duty-and-responsibility speech?

“Pfft. So what?”

“You have a responsibility. In another time… you might’ve even been a Hero candidate. Someone like you—you have a duty to use that power to bring smiles to others.”

She hadn’t changed at all from my past life‼‼‼

Well—obviously.

That’s exactly why I needed to tank her favorability score straight to rock bottom, and fast!

“Responsibility? Duty? What’s that? Is it something I need to build my future harem~?”

I threw in some enthusiastic hip thrusts for extra flair.

“I see… Looks like someone’s in desperate need of proper education.”

“Education, huh~?”

“I’ll gladly realign that arrogant little nose of yours.”

Still smiling radiantly, Filio casually reached for the slender sword at her hip.

…Crap.

Did I go too far with the hate-farming routine!?

Back in my past life, she challenged me to a duel to test my strength.

Only after that did she agree to officially join my party.

And if that duel starts here and now… yeah, this is bad. Really bad.

“W-Wait, hold up! A duel!? Between adventurers!? Right here!? That’s insane!”

“I don’t mind. I’ll allow it.”

The guild’s bespectacled beauty said it like she was approving a dinner reservation.

EHHHHH!?

WHY THOUGH!?

Wait… Don’t tell me they planned this ahead of time!?

Is the Adventurers’ Guild trying to give me a lesson too!?

Do they secretly hate how I’ve got real skills but still won’t rank up!?

Is this their way of saying they’re done dealing with my freeloading Bronze Rank butt!?

…Yeah.

That sounds way too plausible.

“So that’s how it is, Haruya.”

Filio smiled like she’d already won.

The other adventurers—especially the women—could totally sense I was about to get wrecked.

The hype in the room hit critical mass.

“Crush him!”

“Rip it off!”

“Make sure he never gets it up again!”

Wow.

Such passionate support.

Thanks a ton, everyone!

Dammit, fate’s throwing hands with me again!

Like hell I’m letting some dumb destiny win!!

“Fuhihi! You sure about this, Missy? Swinging those massive boobs into a fight with me… I might just get the urge to grope ’em, y’know!”

The crowd exploded with furious heckling.

Fwahaha!

Perfect! I’ll lean into the role of the ultimate scumbag punching bag!

Might as well nuke my Guild reputation while I’m at it!

Filio still wore that bright, princely smile—

But beneath it, I could feel her barely-contained rage leaking out.

“You’re absolutely despicable…”

“Guhehe! If I win, maybe I’ll make you mine, yeah? Sound good~?”

“…You seriously need to be taught a lesson. Come—attack whenever you’re ready.”

“Ggegege! Me crush you gooood!”

…Okay, wow.

This character’s spiraling way outta control.

But whatever!

Let’s take her up on that challenge—with a surprise sneak attack!

She can beat me down in front of everyone like the gallant noble prince she is!

“Fuhihi… Alright then, how about we each take a few steps back and then—Just kidding!”

I pretended to take a step back—

Then suddenly whipped out my sword and went for a surprise attack.

I raised my blade and swung down at Filio.

Thinking back to how skilled she’d been when we first met, I figured a decently quick strike should be enough.

As expected, her slender rapier intercepted mine mid-swing—

And with zero effort, she slammed my sword straight into the floor.

“Shameless types like you always pull the same stunt.”

“N-No way⁉ My sword…! T-That’s… impossible…”

“Impossible? Maybe you thought you had some skill… But clearly, you’ve got no idea how vast the world really is.”

…Judging by her current level, Filio was probably upper Platinum tier.

Easily one of the strongest adventurers in this region.

Though to be fair, she mostly fights from range, so it’s tough to gauge her exact combat style.

In our past life, she actually pushed herself to master swordplay—just so she could keep up with me.

Anyway.

Back to my role as the designated punching bag.

“W-Who the hell are you!?”

“A chivalrous thief who helps the weak and defeats evil… Filio Valshad!”

Sensing this was her big dramatic moment, Filio struck her signature pose—

One hand covering half her face with a sharp bam!

Ahh, the nostalgia… She used to rope me into doing that dumb pose all the time…

If she’s going all in, then so will I.

Time to fully embrace the cringe villain routine.

In a panic, I grabbed a steak knife off a nearby table.

“D-Don’t come any closer! S-Stay back!! I’m warning you!!”

“You’re really going to fight me with that…? Pathetic doesn’t even begin to describe it.”

Filio raised her slender rapier with a proud, princely stance.

Absolutely perfecttttttttttttttttt‼‼

I did it! I just beat fate itself!

Take that, destiny!

Don’t you ever mess with my life again‼‼‼

Now all that’s left… is bracing for the pain.

“…*stare.”

I felt it—someone watching me.

It was Lily.

She must’ve heard the commotion and quietly slipped into the crowd.

…Crap.

Lily knows my actual skill level.

She’s 100% gonna realize I’m holding back on purpose.

I’ve gotta wrap this up before she figures out what’s really going on between me and Filio!

“S-Shut up alreadyyyyy!”

I rushed at Filio, steak knife in hand.

C’mon‼ Just stab me and end this‼

I’m ready!!

“I’ll help you see the light.”

As the crowd screamed for my doom, Lily calmly muttered—just loud enough for me to hear:

“Lord Haruya. If you lose… no special treat for you tonight.”

Most people around probably had no idea what she meant.

But me?

The moment I realized what “special treat” actually meant—

Every nerve in my body snapped to attention.

Pure reflex.

No—pure instinct.

No—pure, primal instinct.

Just as Filio lunged with her rapier—

I reacted.

I swung the steak knife—

And somehow sliced right through her blade.

Before I knew it, the knife was already pressed against her neck.

The guild hall fell into stunned silence.

“I-I… lost? No way… With a steak knife…?”

Filio looked completely shell-shocked.

Like the world had just expanded before her very eyes.

Her face said it all—

Reality had just hit her like a truck.

OH MY GOD MY INSTINCTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT‼‼‼‼