I Broke Up With My Girlfriend Who Was Cheating On Me, But She Was So Deeply Sorry That I Couldn't Help But Forgive Her. - Chapter 5: My 1% Complaints And Regrets. Ayaka Hanashima’s POV

My 1% Complaints And Regrets

Ayaka Hanashima’s POV

I have a wonderful boyfriend.

Umikita Umi-kun.

He thinks of me first.

He accepts my love as much as he can.

He takes good care of me.

He is a kind and very nice boyfriend.

However, I am 99% in love with him.

1% dissatisfaction

He never shows me his weakness.

He tries to be strong in front of me.

I’m very happy about that.

But… but…

Am I not… reliable enough?

One day, I was on my way back from visiting my cousin’s house in Yokohama.

A boy about my age was crouching by the side of the road.

I asked him, “Are you okay?”

When he looked up, he was crying with a very hurt face.

I looked at his weak and fragile figure, which would break if I touched it, and for some reason, I naturally hugged him.

After a while, the man who had been crying looked up and said,

“Thank you… Can I ask you a few questions?”

Apparently, he had confessed his one-sided love to a childhood friend who had been with him for 10 years and was rejected.

Since it was late today, we decided to talk about it later and exchanged contact information.

*

Saturday.

The day I promised to take my time to talk to him.

We went to a coffee shop and I listened to the story of how he first met his childhood friend and up to the present.

I could tell that he really likes his childhood friend, and I couldn’t help but cry.

When we left the coffee shop, he held my hand, as if he was substituting me for his childhood friend.

Holding hands alone with a man other than Umi-kun…

I couldn’t leave this man who showed me weakness even though I felt just a little guilty.

I wanted to make him feel better.

After walking for a while, when he started to smile at me, he kissed me in the park.

I couldn’t refuse.

“I’m sorry…”

I couldn’t refuse this man who was apologizing to me.

“I’ll never be a replacement for your childhood friend again.”

I smiled at him, a little annoyed.

*

Sunday.

I’m free.

I sent a message to Umi, but he didn’t reply.

What’s wrong?

I also sent a message to Miku-chan.

Ayaka: Miku-chan, are you free today?

Misora: Sorry, I’m a little busy today.

Sometimes there are days like this.

Let’s study I guess then?

A study style that has now become a part of my life as well.

I often switch between reading and studying every hour, as Umi-kun used to say.

*

Monday.

When I greeted Umi-kun at the usual place, I felt a slight discomfort in his expression.

I wonder if something is wrong…?

When I was about to head to school holding hands with Umi-kun, he suddenly changed the direction he was going.

I followed him, and he stopped and hugged me.

“I’m sorry… just a little bit… let me stay like this…”

Umi-kun’s body was shaking a little as he said in a whisper.

I don’t know what happened, but it was the first time he showed me his weakness.

At that moment, I felt like the missing piece in my heart clicked into place.

An overwhelming sense of happiness and bliss filled my heart.

Umi-kun… Umi-kun… Umi-kun…

I want to heal you.

I want to heal only you.

I want to reassure you as much as possible.

“It’s okay…”

and I patted his head.

There were many times when Umi-kun stroked me on the head.

It makes me very happy.

But this is the first time I stroked Umi-kun’s head.

So the person who strokes your head also feels so happy.

If this is the case, I should have asked him to let me do it.

Next time, I’ll ask him to let me pat him on my lap.

He even let me pet his head as he was.

…I’m happy just thinking about it.

Umi-kun calmed down and apologized to me.

“No, I was delighted to.”

I told him honestly.

We walked to school holding hands again, and when we entered the school building and let go of each other’s hands, I felt the euphoria that had been filling my heart fade away a little and was brought back to reality.

I can’t help but think back to last Saturday.

…what was I doing?

I was shown weakness and my feelings actually floated away!

This is literally cheating.

Regret and guilt swept over me to the point of wanting to die.

I told my homeroom teacher during morning HR that I wasn’t feeling well and went to the nurse’s office.

I sat down on my bed, took out my smartphone, and sent a message to that boy.

Ayaka: I will not be seeing you again.

I told him that this was the last time I would see him, so I don’t think we will see each other again, but just in case.

I’m not sure if he’ll reply, so I blocked him from receiving my calls and blocked him from sending me messages.

I wanted to see Umi-kun’s face.

Even though we were together until a few minutes ago.

During the lunch break, as I was heading to the cafeteria with Chisaki-kun because it was raining today, Umi-kun told us that he had a committee meeting and could not come to the cafeteria.

He would call me in such cases, but….

Maybe he came to the classroom while I was in the infirmary?

Lunch with the three of us.

Miku-chan and Chisaki-kun both seem to have gloomy expressions on their faces.

By the way, they went on a date for their first anniversary, didn’t they?

Did it not go well?

Maybe I shouldn’t go into it.

After school, I was about to go to Umi-kun’s classroom when I received a message from him.

He had to go home first because he had something to do.

I missed him since I haven’t seen his face since this morning.

Chisaki-kun was going home with Miku, so I thought it would be better for the two of us to talk slowly now.

I decided to have tea with my classmates and go home.

I can’t wait for tomorrow.

I want to see Umi-kun.