Chapter 21 – Portrait of a Pathetic Plotter

I screwed up.

The silence in the inn was a physical weight. Every eye was on our table. On Reina. On me. My brilliant, perfect, master-class plan had just been nuked from orbit, and I was standing at ground zero. I had backed the wrong horse. I had bet my entire edgy future on a villain who turned out to be a hero, and rejected the hero who was actually a villain.

This was an epic fail of legendary proportions.

How was I supposed to know? How in the hell was I supposed to know that Mayor Pedro was a genuinely kind-hearted guy? He had the face of a cartoon loan shark. The vibe of a man who would tax oxygen if he could figure out how. And Siegfried? Siegfried was a walking, talking cliché of a flawless hero. He was so bright and shiny he made my teeth hurt. Of course he was the good guy.

Except he wasn’t.

And now everyone thought I had seen through it all. They thought I was some kind of genius, a master of seeing into the souls of men. They thought my trust in Pedro and my instant dislike of Siegfried was some profound judgment of character.

It wasn’t. It was just me trying to get myself betrayed.

My brain was a mess of screaming static. I wanted to rewind time. I wanted to go back and shake Siegfried’s hand. I wanted to apologize for being such a tool. But I couldn’t. My party, my adoring, idiot friends, were now convinced he was the ultimate evil. They were convinced because of me.

My eyes started to burn.

This was a catastrophe.

“He’s after the fruit. We can’t let him get away.”

He was already on his feet, his hand on the hilt of his sword. The patrons in the inn scrambled out of his way, their fear suddenly replaced by awe. They were looking at us like we were their only hope. Which, I guess, we were.

This was so cringe.

We ran out into the dusty street. The setting sun cast long, orange shadows. A small crowd of townsfolk had gathered, drawn by the commotion. They started cheering. Actually cheering. For me. For the guy who just orchestrated the most embarrassing failure in the history of isekai protagonists.

“He’s on horseback! He’s already at the city gate!”

Kenji pointed down the main road. Sure enough, a figure in gleaming armor was galloping away, already a hundred yards ahead. We were on foot. We had no chance.

My legs felt like lead. I almost didn’t care. Let him have the stupid fruit. Let him get away. I just wanted to dig a hole and lie in it for a few centuries.

Daisuke let out a sharp grunt.

He pointed a thick finger toward a side alley. A merchant was busy unloading crates of cabbages from a rickety wooden cart. It was old. It was ugly. It probably smelled like dirt and regret.

It was our only shot.

Kenji’s eyes lit up. He didn’t even hesitate.

“Sir! We need to borrow your cart! For the good of the town!”

The merchant just stared, his mouth hanging open. Before he could protest, Daisuke had already grabbed the front of the cart. With a single, powerful heave, he lifted it, dumping the remaining cabbages onto the cobblestones. He grunted an apology.

Reina grabbed my arm, her grip like a steel vise.

“Come on, Ryuuji-kun! We have to go!”

She dragged me toward the cart and practically threw me into the back. I landed on the hard, splintery wood with a thud. Kenji scrambled in beside me. Daisuke took his place at the front, his massive hands gripping the handles, and started to run.

The cart lurched forward, sending me tumbling into a pile of stray cabbage leaves.

The wooden wheels rattled and groaned over the cobblestones. We bounced and swayed, picking up speed as Daisuke’s powerful legs found their rhythm. The cheering of the townsfolk faded behind us as we blasted through the city gates and onto the open road.

This was my life now. A high-speed pursuit in a stolen vegetable cart.

My revenge arc was officially a joke.

The wind whipped past my face. In the distance, Siegfried’s figure was a tiny, shining speck. Kenji leaned forward, his eyes fixed on our target. He had that determined, heroic glint in his eye.

“Ryuuji, if it weren’t for you, I would have fallen for Siegfried’s act completely. He almost had me convinced.”

His voice was filled with a deep, genuine gratitude. It felt like swallowing broken glass. I was the fool, not him. I had everything I ever wanted in my hands. A party that was ready to betray me for a “greater good.” A clear-cut villain.

And I was too stupid to see it.

“You’re so emotional right now.”

Reina shuffled closer to me in the rattling cart, her shoulder pressing against mine.

“It’s okay. We’ll get him.”

She thought I was emotional because of the betrayal. Because our town’s hero was a fraud. She had no idea I was mourning the death of my own magnificent plot. A hot tear finally escaped and slid down my cheek. It was a tear of pure, uncut rage at my own incompetence.

Reina saw it. Her expression softened into one of intense sympathy.

“Oh, Ryuuji-kun…”

Before I could protest, her arms were around me, pulling me into a hug.

“I failed.”

“Ryuuji, it’s not your fault.”

Kenji had turned around, his face a mask of heroic concern. He put a hand on my shoulder.

“You did everything you could. You warned us.”

I didn’t warn them. I was just being a selfish jerk. The misunderstanding was so total, so complete, it was almost a work of art in itself. The more I thought about it, the worse I felt. Another tear fell. Then another.

Soon, I was just crying.

I was a pathetic, blubbering mess, being hugged by my two clueless friends in the back of a speeding cart, piloted by a grunting giant.

Siegfried, if I ever find you, I’m going to apologize.

So, so hard.