Life is a Mess Ever Since My Mother Won an Ero-Novel Grand Prize - Chapter 4.3

Chapter 4.3

“Hello?”

|| “Oh, hi Mating Press Sensei. I haven’t heard your voice since the award ceremony. It’s been a while.”

“Same here. Anyway, did something happen for you to call me all of sudden? I’m out for a while now…”

“Then let’s get to the point. The illustrator for Giri-Gami has been decided!”

“Oh, really?”

You can’t talk about a novel without illustrations. There are some people who think that the illustrations are the main body of the story.

“But I don’t know much about illustrators, so I don’t think I could react even if I heard their names.”

“How ignorant of you? The person who accepted my request this time is a young, up-and-coming artist with a booming reputation, ‘Sexy-Panty-Flash’ Sensei.”

What’s with that pen name? Perhaps an illustrator that specializes in that kind of field!!

“There’s a very popular eroge that was released last year, and this is the person who quickly made a name for themselves as its illustrator. I didn’t know their background, but they just appeared out of nowhere like a comet, an illustrator with a lot of mystery… But rather than that, they said they’d love to illustrate Giri-Gami.”

“Wow.”

The all-genre novel newcomer award is one of the biggest in the industry, and it seems that the Sexy-Panty-Flash Sensei wants to make a name for himself with it.

“I will send you some of his illustrations, but you should also try searching on the internet yourself. See you later.”

Yes, thank you very much… I hung up the phone after saying that.

“Oh, are you done calling-pyon?”

“Well, yeah. Don’t use that pyon!”

As I snatched her rabbit ears. “Iyaan,” she said sadly.

I took a breath and said,

“I heard that an illustrator has been chosen. She said he was like a talented young artist who became famous as an erotic game artist.”

“Oh, an erotic game illustrator. That sounds perfect. There was a place I wanted to go. It involves the next work of Mating Press.”

“Hou?”

I can’t do anything, either way I will be involved in the next Mating Press project whether I like it or not.

“Where do you want to go?”

Mirei smiled.

“An eroge store.”

I turned on my heel to go home, but she put her arms around me from behind and held me as tight as she could.

“Wait, Haru-kun. Mommy doesn’t know of any stores that sell eroge. I don’t even know what to buy, and I can’t do anything unless you go with me.”

“Please don’t do anything embarrassing, I beg you.”

Passersby around her look at us to see what’s going on, but it doesn’t seem to have come to her attention…

“No, Haru-kun, if you’ve decided on an illustrator, you should have a look at their work. I’m going to go to the eroge store right now and look for the one with Sexy-Panty-Flash illustrated.”

“No thanks. I’ll just search the Internet.”

Why do I have to go to the eroge store with my mother?

“Help me out, Haru-kun〜〜〜〜 Mommy can’t do anything but write! I’m sure I’ll be fired soon from my other job anyway~! I have to keep writing until I die! Fuen~!”

Mirei cried out. There was no dignity of a mother left in her voice.

I was supposed to be looking for a story for my challenge, so why did I have to be pushed around so much by my mother? It was supposed to be an event with Rinka, after all.

“And think about it, Haru-kun.”

“What?”

“Even if your mother arrived at the erotic game corner alone, you know, a woman alone in an erotic game corner is strange no matter how you think about it. I’ll be surrounded by male customers. The clerks might even join in. Are you sure you want this to happen, Haru-kun? Your mother will be surrounded by men she doesn’t know, grinning at me like, ‘Heh, ma’am, so you like this kind of thing?’ how am I supposed to face that?!”

Thus, we came to a tall building.  

“I’ve been to this subculture store a few times with my friends. I think they have an eroge section.”

Checking the floor map, we took the escalator to the fifth floor and headed for the forbidden area.

There were a lot of great products lined up in front of me that would make a virgin blush.

“Ara~ ma~.”

Mirei was also blushing like a girl. She seemed to be a little frightened, lost in a new world. Following me shyly while picking at the hem of my shirt.

“Are you excited~♪”

“No, not really.”

Eventually, a mother and son landed in an erotic game corner. It’s an unprecedented event, isn’t it?

“So this is what they call a boys’ paradise.”

“Can you rephrase that because it might be misleading in a BL kind of way? It’s more of a sanctuary, Ma’am.”

“Why are you using honorifics, Haru-kun? It’s like I’m a stranger.”(E/N:I mean yeah, who would treat their mother the same in a holy sanctuary of men called eroge corner?)

I nodded nonchalantly and said, “Right. Then I’ll wait outside.”

“No, we’re gonna rummage this store together, Haru-kun!”

She roughly took my arm and pulled me in.

This is the world of two-dimensional beautiful girls. The world of living fossils, whose designs have barely evolved since a decade ago, and has no trace of an archeological perspective.

Mirei looked at the packages of games stacked on the shelf and picked one up at random.

“Oh, it’s thicker than I thought. The package looks like a box…”

“That’s the legacy of eroge’s…”

“I see, eroge cases are big. That’s why you don’t keep it in your room, Haru-kun, because you can’t hide it!”

“You’re not going through my room without permission, are you?”

Oh, man, I said, regaining my composure,

“There are many kinds of erotic games. There are works that focus on storytelling and eroticism is just a bonus, and there are also works that focus solely on eroticism. You said you were going to use it as a reference for your next work, but what kind of work are you planning to make?”

I asked, leaving the Sexy-Panty-Flash aside for the moment.

“Of course, it’s about family love. Like Haru-kun’s challenge.”

“Oh, you’ve given it some thought.”

I was a little impressed. After all she’s my mother who puts her children first. Maybe she is trying to be a role model for me who is not sure what to write. 

“What’s the story, exactly?”

“It’s about the shameless acts of brother and sister!”

“Incest again!”

And it’s becoming more realistic again! What am I supposed to tell Miyuha?

“I think it’s good to write about things that are close to you in a more in-depth way. At least, that’s how “Giri-Gami” was written and won the grand prize.”

Writing about familiar things in a more in-depth way.

“Well, you might have a fair point.”

“I think it’s more than a fair point. I think that’s the whole point.”

Unexpectedly, Mirei spoke up in a strong tone.

“I think it’s more effective to concentrate on what you know well and write about it, rather than doing a lot of research and wielding a lot of knowledge. It’s as if the writer has compressed his own life into a single piece. A work in which the writer puts everything he has into his work, without shame or pretense, as if this is his life. I believe that such a work filled with soul will be a masterpiece that no one will be able to deny.”

This was my mother’s philosophy of writing… She had a very clear idea of what she was doing.

“So that’s what you’re going to do with your next work?”

“Yes, that’s right. Will you listen to the synopsis I came up with?”

Now it’s about a brother and sister. I bet it’s modeled on me and Miyuha, right?

An incestuous relationship between her son and daughter is her “life’s work”?

I’m so sick of this mother…

“Yes, for a long time they thought they were step-siblings, but at the very end they turned out to be real brother and sister. But by that time, the sister was already pregnant…”

“It’s so sloppy!”

“The title is, Japanese Mythology is No Laughing Matter.”

“Isn’t that a sequel to Greek Mythology?”

It’s just a parallel world, she explained earnestly. It’s funny, why can’t we discuss this topic seriously, are all ero novel writers air-headed?

I’m trying to train myself in the professional world, but all I see around the Mating Press is hemtai!

I’m not interested in that kind of field!

I want to be a normal light novelist!

“Sir, please be quiet.”

The clerk, a college-aged man, came to warn me.

“You’re disturbing other customers…”

“I’m sorry, but… I’ve seen you somewhere before…”

“Hmm? Oh, you…?”

We pointed at each other and shouted in surprise.

“Standing-Doggy-Style Sensei!”

[TLN- I changed his name from awl to style]

“Mating Press Sensei!”

I don’t think that’s a name I want to hear out loud… I want to die…

What’s going on in my life…? The HEMTAI TRINITY again?

“Ara, do you know him, Haru-kun.”

Mirei was flabbergasted.

“Could it be that you’re another senior writer?”

“Yes, this is Standing Doggy Style Sensei.”

“Standing Doggy Style…!!!”

Shine, she seemed to have gotten a flash of inspiration. I don’t really want her to say anything unexpected or just not talk at all. I feel like she’ll come up with something absolutely unnecessary. I’ll go ahead and introduce ourselves.

“So, Senpai, this one here?”

“Is this your girlfriend? Damn! You’ve some great luck! The winner is also a girl! There are a lot of girls around you! Well, you can do whatever you want! You seem to be enjoying life. Damn, don’t come to the erotic game store with your girlfriend, chill out, don’t play erotic games, go home and fuck yourself, you fucking riajuu!”

Ehh…, why are you so mad at me all of a sudden?

“Lovers? No, it’s not just a flimsy connection.”

Mirei proudly declares.

“Me and Haru-kun are family now!”

No, I think we’ve been a family from the beginning.

“Huh? So you’re his sister?”

“She’s my mother!”

“Wh—at?”

“That’s enough! How many times have we had this conversation?”

Standing Doggy Style, the apron-wearing eroge clerk, cleared his throat.

“Sorry about that. I didn’t expect you to be a mother. What’s with that though? Why is a mother and son in the eroge corner?”

“Oh, I don’t want to talk about that anymore. I’m full of it.”

“Huh, perhaps you guys play erotic games together…?”

He asked me hesitantly.

“Please don’t ask me. I don’t want to answer.”

“I’ll leave it to your imagination. Ufufu”

Mirei said while smiling devilishly.

So, for some reason, the Standing Doggy Senpai was coming at me with zest. His cheeks flushed, he suddenly squared his shoulders to me in a familiar manner.

“Hey, how old is your mother?”

“I’m going to kill you.”

“She’s definitely not thirty yet. I’d say she’s about twenty-five. Then how old was she when she gave birth to you? Eh-“

After silencing him with a Stomach Breaker Punch, I kicked the man who had begun to faint in agony.

“Let’s get the hell out of here. Have you decided to buy anything?”

I was ready to go home and search the Internet for the eroge whose artist was Sexy Panty Flash. On the other hand, when it comes to the next installment of the Mating Press, I want her to pick out something that hits the spot.

But,

“Ehhn, I don’t know which one to buy.” said Mirei, sounding like a little girl who couldn’t choose a toy, but all she had in her arms were eroge games that involved humiliating her younger sister.

“Hey-Hey, Haru-Kun, which one do you think I should buy? Is it “Sister R*pe ~ Endless Desire”? Or “Sister NTR ~ dangerous part-time job in front of her boyfriend”? There’s also one called “Elf Lolita Bitch Virgin In Penetration Paradise”, what should I do?”

Throw it all away!!

I was tempted to say so, but my involvement in the next project directly affects the financial situation of the Shimomura family. This is an important matter that will affect my college education and that of my younger sister, Miyuha. I can’t ignore it, and I mustn’t.

“Hehe, you can have a mother-daughter donburi, Miss.”

I hit the senior writer who was recommending it to her to shut him up, and then I said.

“You can’t just buy anything you want. Eroge is expensive for its content. Basically, it’s an extravagant product that includes an extra cost.”

“Is that so? Since it costs almost ten thousand, isn’t the quality and volume amazing?”

“Not really. If you were to price it based on the content alone, the upper limit would be five thousand yen at most. But in a way, it’s a special kind of content, so it’s not surprising that the price would be jacked up by the extras.”

“Hmm, I don’t understand. Could you give me a metaphor for a naughty situation?”

“Why would I do that? There are other ways to do it!”

This is what happens when I get involved with My mother! Anything and everything with her is going to be sexually oriented!

Here’s when Standing Doggy Style smiled.

“Fufufu, You seem to be having trouble choosing a sister erotic game. Then let me help you.”

He pointed his thumb at himself in a cool way, like a hero.

“You can leave it to me when it comes to erotic games!　I’m a certified eroge sommelier, and a ‘Romance Lover’, so I can give you the best one!”

“That’s great, Haru-kun! What a reliable senior author you have! Now the game he will find will be as good as a win!”

“I mean, what is an eroge sommelier?”

He seems to know a lot about eroge anyway. So I guess he can answer this curiosity of mine.

“Standing-Doggy-Style Sensei, do you know an illustrator by the name Sexy-Panty-Flash?”

“He’s the number one rising star, right? How could I not know about him?”

Oh, so he’s famous after all. Also “he” huh.

“Actually, he’s going to illustrate Giri-Gami.”

“That’s great! It’s going to sell like crazy!”

An eroge sommelier gives that much of a stamp of approval. He must be a pretty great artist.

Standing Doggy Sensei made a move as if he had a flash of inspiration.

“Perfect, this is also fate. I’ll bring you the erotic game that Sexy-Panty-Flash was the artist for last year. And since it’s about a younger sister, we can kill two birds with one stone. That’s exactly the kind of eroge you guys are looking for, right?”

After saying, “One moment, please,” senpai disappeared into the back of the room, returning soon after.

“Here, SistersxAlien,” he said, holding out an erotic game.

The title…

“Sis-eli, as it is commonly known, is a masterpiece that won the Bishojo Game Award last year. The overwhelmingly beautiful illustrations were a big hit, but the scenario was also highly praised, and it’s been called a once-in-a-decade masterpiece that mixes pure love with madness. The fan discs are selling well, and a sequel is expected to be released next year.” 

“Heh, what a surprise?”

The mere mention of an eroge with the title “Sister Alien” gave me a bad feeling, but that feeling turned out to be correct.

“The twelve sisters, each of a different personality, are raped and corrupted by aliens from far beyond the universe, gradually becoming less human, and eventually their bodies are completely fused with the aliens.”

“It is indeed an eroge. It is paving the way for the future of Japan.”

Haruma was dumbfounded and Mirei was crying.

“This has so many deep emotions…!”

“Why is that? Where’s the emotion?”

“But, Mating Press, this is a masterpiece that will really make you cry. It’s in the lineage of the so-called tearjerkers that were all the rage in the 1990s. You can say it’s the ultimate in tearjerkers. This style will probably be the standard for erotic games for a while.”

“Why are you talking like a critic, man?”

“Actually, I got that from a critic, and I agree with him. Yes, as an eroge sommelier.”

“Hold on a second. What is an eroge critic? Is that even a profession?”

I was wondering what’s wrong with this world, like having qualifications for being  an eroge sommelier and eroge critic.

Yes, said Mirei while wiping her tears she raised her hand, “Please give me that!”

“I’m sorry. Sis-eli is currently on the waiting list. Even used ones are at a premium, costing twice as much.”

“What? Double? How is that possible?”

I was next to her, and I was also astonished. How can an erotic game be sold at a premium when the price has doubled?

“It’s a very popular product, and a masterpiece, which is rare in recent years. It’s also a very special company, and they haven’t been able to increase production in time, which inevitably raised the price. In any case, it’s not even available for download.”

“Is that so…”

“By the way, today’s market price is 17,000 yen.”

For real? Is the market value of eroge’s that high?

I used my smartphone to check online, but it wasn’t just this store that was ripping me off. It was true that the price was around 17,000 yen. Even with a pre-order system, it takes weeks to get a new one.

“It’s so expensive that I’m hesitant to buy one. Do you have any coupons?”

“How could there be coupons for erotic games!”

“Yes, there are, if you sign up as a member.”

“Do you have one?”

“We’ll issue you a member’s card when you pay at the register. If you do, you’ll get one thousand yen off the first time and five percent off the next time. When you buy used goods, we’ll give you ten percent off. You’ll also earn points for every transaction, so it’s a great deal.”

“This is no ordinary store!”

Anyway, it looks like they’ll give us a thousand yen discount. Still, it was too expensive.

However, in Mirei’s mind, the decision to buy it was already made.

“It’s a huge expense, but I can’t compromise on my work. I really want to play a game where the younger sister is raped by aliens!”

“Can you even say that in front of Miyuha?”

In the end, Mirei insisted on buying Sis-eli at a premium price. “It’s fine, it’s the money your mother earned. It’s up to me on what I use it on.” 

I had no words to reply.

Well, just think of it as an offering to Sexy-Panty-Flash Sensei. We are going to take care of you from now on.

And after that we went straight home.

… To be continued.

TLN: I have made a ko-fi page recently, if any of you are generous enough, you can help me with reading, comment, or by donating, HERE

and Hayaoya Volume 1 translation is already completed, my dear editor, Arro, need some time so you guys can rest assured… or in the meantime you guys can read my other projects, all the novels with “SUS” badge are my projects…

Stay tuned to next chapter… playing eroge with his mother.