Life is a Mess Ever Since My Mother Won an Ero-Novel Grand Prize - Chapter 2.1

Chapter 2.1

Writers are basically a bunch of sociopaths who are stuck in life

Before the ceremony began, the members of the All-Genre Bunko Editorial Department were lined up in a row to hand out their business cards. They kept coming one after another, as if they were on a conveyor belt. There was the Chief Editor, the Associate Chief Editor, et cetera, et cetera… As I expected, the number of people working for one of the largest publishers, with a large number of titles published per month, could not be counted with the fingers of both hands.

Despite everything, what interested me was the girl sitting next to me.

On her name plate, the name “Karin” was written in katakana. But this pen name… you see by rearranging “Rinka,” it becomes “Karin.” It was so obvious!

But I still couldn’t believe it, so I asked…

“Rinka, are you sure you won the award?”

“What, you got a problem with that?”

“Aren’t you just using the alias Karin instead of someone else’s?”

“Ha!? I’m not doing that! Proxy for the author? What’s the point in doing that? I’m proud of my work, I wouldn’t claim to be an award winner on behalf of someone else!”

“Oh, guess I’ll commit suicide.”

“Hey! What’s with that face?”

“No, my bad, it’ll all be good now. Guess what, I was wrong from the start. I should hang myself for repentance.”

“Don’t smile so brightly! I’m fine. Hey, come-on! Shimomura!”

Even though my shoulders were shaken, I kept raising my compassionate face like an enlightened Buddha.

I was determined to win an award, make my debut as an author, and confess my feelings to the girl I was interested in. However, the girl I was interested in won the award and made her debut as a writer. Contrary to that, I am a fraud, pretending to be a writer, calling myself “Mating Press” which should be my mother. That guilt is enough for a short death.

“So, let’s start the award ceremony. My name is Kamome Hanagaki of the All Genres Bunko Editorial Department.”

There was a hint of enthusiasm and a warm atmosphere of anticipation for the newcomers’ future success.

The award ceremony went on without a hitch, and the bigwigs of the publishing company and the senior writers gave speeches of encouragement.

“Next, we will be handing out certificates and trophies. From the grand prize winner of the fantasy category, Karin Sensei.”

“Yes.”

“The winner of the erotic romance category, Mating Press Sensei.”

“… Yes.”

“Please come to the stage, both of you.”

Rinka and I walked up to the stage together.

The executives were waiting for us with smiles on their faces, award certificates in their hands.

Rinka was the first to receive the certificate and trophy. Rinka went straight to the stand microphone and started her speech.

“It’s nice to meet you all. My pen name is Karin. I’ve been awarded the Grand Prize in the Fantasy Division of the 11th All-Genre Novel Newcomer’s Award for my book, “Let’s Meet at the Place Where Stardust Crumbles.” I can not thank the judges and the readers enough for picking up my work.”

She made a bow.

I was amazed at Rinka’s ability to greet people in such a tactful manner. But what she was saying sounded like a script from a novel!

But as the conversation continued, Rinka blushed more and more, and her voice became muffled and mumbled. And for some reason, she kept glancing at me.

“The reason why I started writing this piece is because, well, that… important (glimpse)…, well, a classmate (glimpse) recommended me a romantic novel that was interesting, and … (mumble), so I wanted to get closer to that person (glimpse), even if it’s just one step … and that’s why…”

I couldn’t hear her anymore. Even though the volume was amplified with a microphone, it was almost as if she was not speaking at all.

“T-thank you very much!”

Once again in the end, she bowed her head in a panic and ran away to the side of the stage.

The puzzled audience gave her a warm applause.

“You were too nervous, Rinka.”

“S-shut up!”

Rinka was red up to her ears, it seems she was about to cry as she tugging at my shoulder. It’s your fault, it’s your fault, it’s your fault, this is all your fault…, she kept muttering quietly.

“And now, Mating Press Sensei. Please.”

“Yes.”

I received a certificate and a trophy, just like Rinka had done earlier.

But when the higher-ups heard my pen name, they laughed, “Mating, Press…? Pfft”

I was eager to volunteer for the Kamikaze suicide mission.

But then I smiled and stood in front of the stand microphone. At that time I had a clear smile on my face, as if I had lost my possessions.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Mating Press! I shouldn’t even be here, but somehow I’ve gotten caught up in a strange thread of fate! To be honest, I want to die! I want to be nailed to a cross and burned at the stake, begging God for forgiveness!”

The high tension and self-deprecation made the audience giggle and sneer.

But the truth is, I wasn’t joking or exaggerating. It was mostly true.

After a lot of laughter from the crowd, I continued with my story.

“Finally, I have a very important announcement to make!”

Hmm!? The audience’s attention was drawn in a different way than before.

Hanagaki, the editor in charge, couldn’t help but get excited. This was an official event. There were people who looked like reporters in the room. They must be in a hurry, afraid of saying something strange.

Even Rinka raised an eyebrow in concern, “Is he going to be okay?”

But let’s be honest, I thought. I’ve had enough of this. There’s no point in hiding it any longer. I decided to say it with the momentum I had.

“The truth is!”

I took a deep breath and revealed the truth I’d been hiding for so long!

“I am!”

Yes, I am.

“I’m a freaking virgin~~~~! ”

“──────”

The audience rolled their eyes and stiffened.

Rinka fluttered and her cheeks flushed red. She blinked as if she couldn’t believe what she just heard.

And, the next moment…

Whoooooooooooooooooo….

For some reason, the audience was really excited.

I was in a strange feeling, I didn’t know what I was saying, but I shouted anyway.

“What’s wrong with a virgin writing a sensual novel? This is a fantasy! I never even hold hands with a girl! Even in junior high school, at the time of folk dance, I ended up holding hands with the boys instead of a girl. That was how I got the Erotic Novel Award! If you have a problem with that, come and get it!”

“”Mating Press!”” “”Mating Press!””

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but now that I’m a wannabe celebrity, I threw away my certificate and trophy, grabbed the microphone, and screamed, “Let’s Rock N Roll!”

The audience stomped their feet, filling the hall with an enthusiasm like that of a live concert hall. Even the publisher’s bigwigs were there.

I was screaming.

“”Whoooooooo, Oppai!””

Rinka was puzzled by the excitement around her, and was scurrying around, wondering why there was such cheering, as if everyone went crazy.

That moment I sang my love song, Acapella.

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