I’m Already in Love With You

I had a dream from the past.

Ten years ago, when we were seven, a memory of playing at the beach with Kaede. We played a lot with the beach ball.

Kaede chased the ball around with such delight, and I felt all warm and enjoyed it too.

**

I woke up.

Even back in reality, the image of child Kaede floated vividly in my mind.

She had been such an innocent, pure, and untainted girl. Now, it hit me just how ugly it was that I harbored lustful feelings toward her.

I let out a long breath and scratched my head vigorously.

She was supposed to be like a little sister to me, yet here I was, feeling her so intensely as a woman…

Even though Unma still loomed large in my heart.

Could I pretend my feelings for Kaede didn’t exist? Could we go back to the relationship we had in the old days…?

…No, don’t think like that. Don’t run toward the easy path. This wasn’t puberty; I had no business getting embarrassed and trying to bottle it up.

My feelings of liking Kaede were part of me too—I needed to accept them properly and cherish them. I was fully aware that having two girls I loved in my heart made me the lowest of the low, but even so, I should value my own emotions.

By the way, what time was it now? Four in the morning—way too early to get up. Maybe I should go back to sleep…

No, I needed to use the bathroom. Time to head there.

I got up slowly and left the bedroom.

I walked down the long hallway. I could see the garden, but it was still pitch black out there—definitely the middle of the night.

The combo of this huge traditional Japanese house and the darkness was pretty spooky. If I were a kid, I’d have wet myself.

It was really dark; I needed to finish up in the bathroom quick and get back to bed…

…Hm? In all this pitch blackness, there was just one spot with a light on…

Whoa, that had some atmosphere. Like a scene from a horror movie.

What was going on at a time like this…? I crept up and peeked into the lit room.

“…!”

Kaede…! It was Kaede.

The sound of a knife chopping rhythmically: ton ton ton. She was cooking. Apparently, this room was the kitchen.

I knew Kaede made me bentos, but did she really start this early?! No, four o’clock wasn’t morning yet—it was still the dead of night.

Kaede was already in her uniform, ponytail in place even while cooking, and wearing an apron too.

I could only see her back, but she looked so cute. I stood there stealthily admiring the sight of Kaede cooking from behind. Her exposed nape, thanks to the ponytail, had me so entranced that I even forgot about going to the bathroom.

“What’s up, Ryoma?”

!!!!!!

Kaede called my name without stopping her cooking. She wasn’t even facing me, but she’d noticed. How did she know?

“Don’t lurk in the doorway—come on in.”

“O-Oh, right.”

No helping it now that she’d caught me, so I stepped into the room as told. Kaede paused her cooking and turned toward me.

“Good morning, Ryoma.”

“G-Good morning.”

Kaede in her uniform and apron…! Her back view was already cute enough, but facing her head-on layered cute on top of cute.

“Kaede, it’s only four. You’re making bentos this early?”

“I don’t usually get up quite this early, but I happened to wake up ahead of schedule today.”

“You should sleep more properly. Sleep deprivation is seriously bad for you.”

“Oh? You’re worried about me?”

“Of course I am.”

“Hee hee, thanks. But it’s fine. This is nothing.

I’m not great at cooking yet, so I still have tons of practice ahead. No matter what, I’m going to make you turn my way.”

With that, Kaede gripped her knife again and resumed cooking.

Kaede… thought I didn’t like her yet. She believed she had to try harder to make me fall for her.

Kaede was working this hard, so earnestly. Seeing her effort twisted my heart, and I clenched my fist.

I had to correct her misconception about my feelings… I didn’t want to toy with her emotions like this.

Come on, muster your courage, me. She told me straight up— I couldn’t just keep it hidden from her.

“…Hey, Kaede.”

“What?”

“It’s about that… but it seems like I’m already in love with you.”

“—!?!?!?”

Clang!

The knife dropped to the floor and rolled away. Kaede had let it slip.

“Oh, sorry!”

Damn, bad timing on my part. I shouldn’t have said it while she was cooking.

I bent to pick up the fallen knife, but Kaede snatched it up even quicker.

Her face was flushed bright red, and her eyes seemed to spin in circles somehow. Too cute. Way too cute, but my instincts were blaring danger signals that this was bad news.

“…A-Ah, awawa… awawawawa.”

Kaede was in total confusion! She flailed the knife around in sheer panic.

Whoa! Dangerous!

“Calm down, Kaede!”

“Hah…! S-Sorry! I can’t believe I lost it like this… How embarrassing…”

She set the knife down on the cutting board and covered her face with both hands.

I’d never seen Kaede this flustered before. It had been dangerous, but super cute. Heart-meltingly so.

You don’t need to be that embarrassed. In front of you, I’m basically exposing my shame all the time anyway.

“…Ryoma… What you said earlier… was that for real…?”

She peered up at me through the gaps between her fingers. No matter what she did or how things were, she was too cute.

I’d said it. I’d confessed I liked her. No taking it back now, no pretending it didn’t happen. If I tried saying it was a lie, that knife right there would end up in my gut.

“Yeah, I like you.”

I stated it firmly. That killed any chance of it being a mishearing or something.

“Then kiss me right now.”

“!?!?!?”

A kiss… with Kaede…

My gaze drifted to Kaede’s pale pink lips. She’d applied lip gloss even this early in the morning, and they looked so plump and soft… How amazing would it feel to touch those exquisite lips, how soft would they be? Just imagining it sent blood rushing to my important male part.

But the more I thought about kissing Kaede, the more Unma’s face bubbled up in my mind.

Memories of kissing Unma, which I’d sunk to the bottom of my heart, kept rising to the surface. Unma and I had kissed more than once or twice—it wouldn’t vanish that easily. Especially since she’d dumped me so recently.

No good… I liked Kaede, and I desperately wanted to kiss her. That’s exactly why I couldn’t.

Did I have any right to take Kaede’s lips with this soul still stained by the heat of my ex?

Because I liked her, I couldn’t kiss her.

“Ryoma.”

Just hearing my name made my heart jolt. Her voice held no anger, but it carried a pressure that could make any man kneel. I was taller than her, yet I felt myself shrinking smaller.

“From your reaction, it doesn’t seem like you don’t want to kiss me.

But right now, you’re hesitating. What is this hesitation of yours?”

“…”

I couldn’t say I couldn’t forget my ex. It had no class to bring up another girl in front of someone who’d just confessed she liked me.

She probably knew I’d had a girlfriend until recently, and that I’d been dumped. Yeah, she likely did— the Nakajo Group seemed to have dug up pretty much everything about me.

Right, since it was probably already known, now wasn’t the time to talk about my ex. I shouldn’t bring up some girl unrelated to Kaede in a moment like this.

I couldn’t answer Kaede’s question.