After I Picked up a Notebook Filled With Intense Emotions, the Girls Started Acting Strange - Chapter 50

The silver-haired girl in front of me said something I couldn’t take in, and I froze in confusion.

My path up to now?

What had I done wrong?

No, I hadn’t made any mistakes. I hadn’t chosen wrong, not even once. That’s what I told myself.

But even so, I began to remember everything I had done, one scene after another flashing through my mind like a fast-moving lantern show.

＊＊＊

I always believed I was different from everyone else.

That’s how I have seen myself since I was young.

That hasn’t changed even now, and I don’t think it ever will.

But when I was little, things didn’t go the way I wanted.

In the end, people were beneath me. So they should listen to what I say. That’s what I believed, and that’s how I treated everyone.

But the kids around me were all idiots who didn’t understand that. They mocked me for being short, and they joked about my bad grades, not knowing I was only holding back on purpose.

We lived in different worlds. Ordinary kids would never understand. But once I grew up, I’d become a doctor like my parents and look down on every last one of them, that’s what I planned.

Then one day, when I was being teased like always, and that day they even hit me, my childhood friend stepped in.

Our houses were next to each other, so we used to play together a lot when we were small. But once we started elementary school, we hardly spent time together.

Still, after the day she helped me, she started hanging around me again.

To be honest, being saved by a girl felt humiliating. But thinking back now, Mizuki probably liked me.

Of course she did. How could she not? She lived next door to someone from an elite family like mine.

But back then, Mizuki acted boyish, and I didn’t like that at all. She was honestly annoying. Being helped by an ugly childhood friend didn’t make me happy in the slightest.

With time, she only got more annoying.

That day, she seemed less energetic than usual. But I thought that was perfect. She was normally loud and bothersome anyway.

And then, I saw it.

Mizuki is being bullied by the same guys who always bothered me.

I felt it served her right. She put on a good person act that nobody asked for, so this was her punishment.

But the idea of only the bully feeling good bothered me. So I came up with a plan.

I took pictures as evidence and decided to use them to threaten him.

It worked perfectly.

And when I happened to see him losing a fight to a kid from another class, another idea came to me.

I would get revenge on him and make myself look like the hero who saved Mizuki.

Luckily, I also snapped a picture of him crying after he lost. With that in hand, I approached him.

But just threatening him wouldn’t work; he’d rebel. I knew that, so I’d already looked into his background.

His family was poor. So I waved money in front of him and made him obey.

With the bullying evidence and the money, I stepped onto the path of being a hero.

Mizuki denied it. But with the bully’s testimony and me saying she was just embarrassed because we were childhood friends, everyone believed me.

Getting praised by everyone felt unbelievably good. I learned something that day. Using people could bring amazing rewards.

And nothing changed when I became a middle schooler.

There were still many people who looked down on me, but after Mizuki transferred away, I finally returned to my true self.

My height grew, and my athletic ability got better. If I tried, I could study well enough, too. But I still felt it wasn’t enough.

If I paid people, many of them would flatter me, and I got a lot of benefits from that.

For example, I told some of them to attack the regular members of a club, or to make cheat sheets for tests.

I even spent money to improve my appearance, and had people spread good rumors about me to other schools.

I worked hard in my own way.

But there was one person… someone who kept getting in my way.

A boy named Shiomi Yuu.

I realized later that he was the one who helped Mizuki when she was bullied.

We went to the same elementary school, but we’d never been in the same class, so I didn’t know much about him. Still, it seemed a lot of people liked him.

We were in the same club, and even played the same position. No matter what I did, I couldn’t beat him.

He ignored every one of my tricks and lived a smooth life. Eventually, I came to see him as a thorn in my side.

If I ever found an opening, I wanted to crush him.

He was a true do-gooder. Even when he helped people, he never bragged about it or told anyone. So I took credit for some of the things he did. But he never said a word. That made me even angrier.

Then… my chance came.

I heard Shiomi liked someone. A plain and ugly girl.

Seriously, who still wears glasses as thick as bottle bottoms?

Her hair was so messy and thick that it covered half her face.

I didn’t understand what he saw in her. If I steal her from him, I can hurt him.

And it worked perfectly.

Right in front of him, I showed off how close she and I were.

Then luck gave me even more help.

Shiomi looked completely crushed. And right then, he caught a cold and stayed home from school.

So I spread rumors. I said that the girl was bothered by Shiomi chasing her. That he forced himself on her and almost assaulted her.

I used money to spread the rumors everywhere and drag his reputation through the mud. He wasn’t there, so I could do whatever I wanted. It felt amazing.

When he came back to school and asked about that girl, the look on his face when I told him she liked me… it was priceless.

After that, when he heard the rumors, he stopped coming to the club and even stopped coming to school.

And I had a comfortable and easy life again.

Even so, by that time, I didn’t really have the freedom to enjoy anything; there were club tournaments, exams, and so many other things going on.

And then, after getting everything I wanted, I became a high school student.

I was surprised when that worthless Shiomi ended up in the same high school as me, but he kept quiet and minded his own business, so I decided to ignore him.

After that, things went just as they are now.

I didn’t need to cheat anymore to get good grades or a decent rank, and in club activities, I even became an ace.

Maybe it was in high school that my true talent finally bloomed.

Well, my parents also stopped giving me much money, but if I could live using my own strength, that was even better. It’s smarter to keep the money saved for when I really need it.

I also started hanging out with more girls.

…It bothered me a little that I couldn’t reach them anymore afterward but… Well, none of them were worthy of me anyway. It was the right choice not to date any of them for long.

Then, about a year passed and Mizuki came back────…

＊＊＊

“…”

“So? Do you remember it now? Did you remember what a pathetic person you really are? You think you can do anything. You think you’re amazing and special, no? But you’re wrong. You’re nothing but a proud, arrogant piece of trash with an ego far too big for what you are.”

“…What part of me is like that!?”

“You did at least take care of your appearance. I’ll give you that. I’m sure you worked hard because you hated how miserable you used to be.”

…Who is this girl?

How does she know about my past?

My current position was because of my own strength, everything I built. No one else.

“But, you know that everything else about you is terrible. This past year has been so hard for me, making sure your reputation didn’t fall apart. All the girls who played with you were fooled by your looks and ended up disappointed. But I begged them. I asked them not to make it a big deal.”

“…D-don’t lie.”

“It’s not a lie. You played with them, but not a single one stayed in touch afterward, right? That’s the proof.”

My throat was dry. Who is this woman?

The sky was slowly growing darker. A faint red light peeked through the gaps in the clouds, but even that was blocked by the trees, leaving the forest dim and heavy.

“And there’s more. On tests, I slipped you workbooks that were narrowed down to the exact range so you’d score well. In our daily conversations, I spread little comments to classmates about how smart you were. For the club, I told the manager your weak points so they could guide you. I even gave you special practice menus to make you better. In practice matches, I told you the weak spots of the players you’d face so your evaluation would rise. Oh, and I also fed the teachers a rumor that you secretly worked really hard behind the scenes. You did have some talent of your own, I’ll admit that. But the praise you got was far more than you could ever reach on your own.”

“…”

“All of it. I did so that you would be praised. This isn’t even everything, but anyone would notice if someone went this far. But you never noticed. You just sat there, full of yourself, believing you were wonderful and strong and never doubted your own skill. You never reflected on your past. You floated through life, happy and proud, all the way up until today. That’s who you are.”

Was everything about me wrong?

No, it couldn’t be… I lived using my own strength. Up until now, and from now on too…

“But what surprised me most, when I dug deeper into your past, was that you were already a piece of trash long before everything happened. If you had just kept using money in high school like before, things might’ve turned out differently… But either way, you were always heading toward a downfall.”

…What is this?

“…Say.”

“Did you say something?”

“What are you!!! What did I ever do to you!!! Who the hell are you!!!”

“…You already know, don’t you? The name Suou, you’ve heard it before, no?”

As she said that, Rei took out a pair of thick and bottle-bottom glasses, the ones I recognized.

◇◇◇

Afterword

Thank you very much for reading up to this point.

I honestly wondered if I should put a warning about unpleasant content in the title.

Before I knew it, this story reached 50 chapters. It feels a bit too long, and there are many times when I think, if only I had written this part differently… There are parts of the setting and story that I regret not handling better.

But the end is near, so I would be happy if you could stay with me until the end.

As I mentioned before, I’m participating in the GA Contest.

If, by some chance, this story ever gets a book version, I’d like to revise it properly and make it better, including all the parts I regret.

Well, I have no idea if it will ever become a book, though.

We’re finally entering the last part!

I hope you will continue to enjoy the story!

I would also be grateful for stars, reviews, and support comments!