After Being Dumped With the Insult, “You’re So Clingy!” and Finding Her in Despair, I Kept Encouraging My Beautiful Classmate and as a Result, That Beautiful Girl Started Directing Her Heavy Emotions Toward Me Instead, but Since I Like Emotionally Heavy Girls, It’s No Problem - 35

Chapter 35: Confession

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“I… I ended up falling in love with you, Futaba.”

Before I realized it, those words had slipped out of my mouth.

“…Mm. Is that what’s been troubling you, Ichika-kun?”

For a brief moment, Futaba’s lips curled into a sly grin at my confession. But she quickly returned to her usual expression and asked me that question.

“Huh? Ah, yeah. I ended up falling in love with Futaba. But I couldn’t tell you.”

“And why is that?”

Without breaking her gentle smile, she questioned me in a calm tone. I explained my reason to her.

“At first, I thought I helped Futaba out of pure feelings. But before I knew it, I had fallen for you. So I started thinking that maybe the reason I kept reaching out to help you was because I had ulterior motives… and it made me feel disgusted with myself. That’s why I couldn’t say it.”

After hearing that, Futaba remained silent. Thinking she must have looked down on me, I immediately apologized.

“…Sorry. You’re disgusted with me, right? I’m no different from Hachioji.”

“I’m not disgusted at all.”

“…Huh?”

I hadn’t expected her to deny it, so her response caught me off guard. She took a breath and spoke to me gently.

“Ichika-kun, you’re talking as if those two feelings shouldn’t coexist. But why is that?”

“Why…?”

“The feeling of wanting to help someone, and the feeling of wanting to get along with them or be liked by them. I think most people have both of those at the same time, don’t they?”

“……….”

Hearing her say that made me think.

Now that she mentioned it, there had been times when I helped classmates because I wanted to get along with them. Likewise, there were probably times when classmates helped me because they wanted to become friends with me. Maybe it was just the way I had phrased it, but when put like that, it didn’t seem particularly strange after all.

“I don’t think there’s such a thing as a perfectly selfless saint who acts with absolutely no ulterior motives when helping someone. Even if it’s not affection, people might want to be seen as a good person, or simply want to feel better about themselves.”

Futaba paused for a breath before continuing.

“To varying degrees, everyone has those kinds of ulterior motives. So even if you have both of those feelings, Ichika-kun, there’s nothing to be ashamed of. If anything, someone like me right now is… ahem, ahem. Excuse me. That was a slip of the tongue.”

“I-I see… But didn’t you think Hachioji was creepy?”

She said it was fine for those two feelings to coexist, but then why had she shown such disgust toward Hachioji? If Hachioji was creepy, then I was the same.

“Ichika-kun, please don’t compare yourself with that man!”

But the moment I finished speaking, Futaba strongly rejected the idea. She seemed slightly angry. Her reaction intimidated me.

“You’re not the same as him. That man always looked at me with those vulgar eyes. Girls are sensitive to that kind of gaze. In other words, his ulterior motives were more obvious than any desire to help me. A man approaching me while breathing heavily with a disgusting look on his face… even remembering it now gives me chills…”

“……….”

She wrapped her arms around her body and shivered, her face pale. It seemed she truly found Hachioji disgusting.

“That man would never act for someone else the way you do, Ichika-kun especially if it meant putting himself at a disadvantage. On the other hand, you kept encouraging me even though you ended up catching a cold. If you were really motivated only by ulterior motives, I don’t think you could have done something like that.”

“Is that really true?”

“It is. And besides…”

“Besides?”

At that point, Futaba smiled gently again.

“The fact that you’re struggling like this right now, Ichika-kun, isn’t that proof that your feelings of goodwill were stronger? If your ulterior motives were the stronger part, you wouldn’t be agonizing like this. Your feelings of wanting to help me and support me were stronger.”

“Ah…”

Only then did I finally realize it. She was right. If I had reached out to Futaba purely because I wanted to get closer to her, then I wouldn’t be suffering like this now. Because the good intentions within me had been stronger, I hated the presence of those impure feelings and that was why I had been struggling until now.

At last, I understood.

“A-anyway! The important thing is that your actions saved me! I don’t think you’re creepy at all, Ichika-kun. In fact, I’m grateful.”

Hearing those words, it felt as though the darkness covering my heart had lifted a little. The words that had once felt like a curse had finally turned into words of salvation. My actions hadn’t been meaningless. This time, I really had managed to save a girl through my own actions.

“Thank you. Futaba… thank you…”

Before I realized it, I was thanking Futaba through tears streaming down my face.

Thank you for being saved.

I had saved her and she had cleared away the darkness in my heart. Those words were my gratitude for that.

“Um… shouldn’t I be the one thanking you…?”

Futaba seemed slightly confused, perhaps unable to understand the meaning behind my “thank you.” But her reaction was normal. If she could have understood what I meant by that thank you, she would practically be a psychic. She lent me a handkerchief as I cried. I accepted it and wiped away my tears.

…This was the exact opposite of what had happened before. Back then, I had comforted a crying Futaba and lent her my handkerchief. This time, Futaba was the one comforting me and lending me hers. What a strange twist of fate.

“So, has your worry been cleared up now, Ichika-kun?”

She asked with a smile. But my heart still wasn’t completely clear.

“No… actually, there’s still something.”

“In that case, go ahead and say everything that’s on your mind.”

“I… betrayed Futaba’s trust.”

“How did you betray it?”

“Futaba trusted me enough to ask me to pretend to be your boyfriend, right? But I ended up falling in love with you.”

This time, I was sure she would look down on me. But Futaba simply stared at me with a puzzled expression, as if she didn’t understand what I meant.

“Um… how exactly does that count as betraying my trust?”

“Futaba said you didn’t plan to find a new love for a while. That’s why you asked me to play the role of your fake boyfriend. It was because you trusted me as a friend. But I ended up falling in love with you… That’s a terrible betrayal.”

After hearing that, Futaba glared at me with half-lidded eyes.

“Ichika-kun… when did I ever say I had no intention of finding a new boyfriend?”

“Huh?”

I thought back on my memories. Now that I considered it, I couldn’t actually remember Futaba ever saying that. I had just assumed it myself.

“What I asked you, Ichika-kun, was simply this: ‘Please drive away the men who keep approaching me by pretending to be my boyfriend.’ And you carried out that role perfectly. So how exactly did you betray my trust?”

“…Huh?”

Wait… had I just misunderstood everything on my own?

Futaba let out a long sigh at me.

“You really overthink things, Ichika-kun. I suppose it’s because you’re a kind person who cares about others and that’s something I like about you as well. But… it does make things a little frustrating for me.”

“But… you’re not bothered that I have feelings for you, Futaba?”

“To begin with, I wouldn’t ask someone I dislike to pretend to be my boyfriend. I wouldn’t initiate physical contact or body touch either.”

“Then that means…”

All this time, I had thought she might hate the idea of someone like me having feelings for her. But if I took her words at face value…

Futaba smiled softly and spoke to me.

“So then, Ichika-kun.. What do you want to happen between us?”

It felt a little like she was guiding me to say it. But my heart… my feelings… could no longer hold back the love I had for her.

“I love you, Futaba! So don’t be my fake girlfriend, be my real girlfriend!”

I confessed my feelings to her.

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