After Being Dumped With the Insult, “You’re So Clingy!” and Finding Her in Despair, I Kept Encouraging My Beautiful Classmate and as a Result, That Beautiful Girl Started Directing Her Heavy Emotions Toward Me Instead, but Since I Like Emotionally Heavy Girls, It’s No Problem - 34

Chapter 34: Salvation

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When I looked back, Futaba was standing there. She was supposed to have gone home after saying she had something to do, so why was she here?

No. More importantly, she might have heard the pathetic sound I let out earlier. I had tried not to show any signs of worrying in front of Futaba so that she wouldn’t be concerned about me. I had thought no one else was around and had completely let my guard down. Seeing me flustered and unable to hide my confusion, Futaba slowly walked toward me with a worried expression.

“Ichika-kun… if you have something troubling you, please tell me.”

Something troubling me. Yes, I did have something. But I couldn’t tell her about this problem. If I told her about it, in the end it would only make her suffer. And that would be far more painful for me than continuing to carry this worry in my chest. So I dodged the question.

“Ah~… no, it’s just that the score on a little quiz we got back today was bad. So I was worried my grades might be in trouble. You know, the regular exams are coming up soon. I’ve got to study hard. Ahaha…”

I thought I had dodged it as best as I could. So she wouldn’t worry. So she wouldn’t realize what I was really troubled about. However, Futaba’s expression didn’t change. She continued to look at me with worried eyes. And then, the next moment, she did something unexpected.

She gently hugged me.

“E-erm… Futaba?”

I was bewildered by her sudden action. With my mind still unable to fully grasp the situation, that was all I could manage to say.

“That’s a lie, isn’t it…?”

“Huh?”

“Ichika-kun, what’s troubling you isn’t that you got a bad score on a quiz. After all, your Japanese history quiz score was 95 points, wasn’t it?”

“Ugh…”

For some reason, she knew my quiz score. I didn’t remember ever showing it to her. But now she knew the words I had said earlier were a lie. Because she was hugging me, I couldn’t see her face.

…What kind of expression was she making right now? Was she disappointed in me for lying? My heart hurt.

“Futaba, I’m sorry for lying. But it’s a problem I can’t talk to you about.”

First, I apologized to her for lying. But I still couldn’t tell her about my worries. This was something that must not be spoken of.

“Ichika-kun. Back then, even though I told you I was fine crying after my heartbreak, you sat next to me and forced me to talk, didn’t you?”

Still holding me, Futaba began speaking gently about how the two of us met. It was true. That was exactly how we met. I couldn’t abandon her when I saw her crying, so I reached out my hand.

“After you listened to me, my heart felt so much lighter. You saved me.”

“—!”

『Saved me.』

Those were the words I once wanted to hear more than anything. The greatest regret of my life was abandoning a crying girl. I never wanted to feel that regret again, so this time I acted to save the crying girl. Thinking it would make her feel better, I accepted letting her fuss over me. Thinking I might be able to take away her suffering, I accepted the role of her fake boyfriend.

…but was that action really done with pure intentions?

I had fallen in love with her. Because of that, maybe my feelings weren’t pure. Maybe there had been ulterior motives. Maybe I hadn’t simply tried to help her. I might have been just like Hachioji, a scumbag filled with selfish desires.

A sense of self-loathing constantly followed me. Was I really someone who deserved her gratitude? Those words I once wanted to hear more than anything had now become a cursed phrase that tormented me.

Futaba continued speaking.

“So I’m going to force you to tell me your troubles too. Just like you did for me.”

“……….”

“Until you tell me what’s bothering you, I won’t let you go.”

When I remained silent, Futaba tightened her embrace. Her body wrapped around me.

『I won’t let you go.』

I could feel how serious she was about that.

“…If I tell you this problem, Futaba will suffer.”

Was I moved by her determination? Or had I finally become unable to endure the pain myself? Before I knew it, I had quietly murmured those words. I had thought I would carry this problem to the grave…

“That’s something we won’t know unless you tell me. Why are you so certain that I’ll suffer? I might even be happy, you know?”

No. She would suffer. Because Futaba didn’t want a new boyfriend. That was why she asked me to pretend to be her lover in order to drive away the men who kept approaching her. If she didn’t want a boyfriend, having someone direct romantic feelings toward her would only cause pain.

And on top of that, it would be coming from the person she trusted enough to ask to play the role of her boyfriend. Futaba stopped hugging me and brought her face in front of mine.

We ended up looking straight at each other. As always, her face was beautiful. So beautiful it was mesmerizing.

“Ichika-kun, you saved me. I want to save you too!”

She said it loudly while staring straight into my eyes. Those words entered through my ears, ran through my body with my blood, and pierced the wall around my heart.

…Was it really okay for someone like me to be saved? At her sincere words and gaze, I heard the sound of the sturdy wall I had built around my heart beginning to crumble.

“No matter what kind of trouble you have, I’ll listen. I’ll accept it. So… please tell me. It hurts me too to see you suffering!”

…Maybe somewhere deep inside my heart, I had also wanted to be saved from this suffering. With those words, the wall covering my heart collapsed with a loud crash.

Ah… what a kind girl she was. She was willing to save someone like me. She was like a goddess. Watching Futaba trying so desperately, affection overflowed within me. No matter how strong a wall I built, the feelings that I loved her would break through and burst out. Before I realized it, the words had already left my mouth.

“I… I ended up falling in love with you, Futaba.”

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