A Twisted Introvert loner Like Me, Mentally Wrecked One-Sidedly due to Love, Throws Away the Love Letter Sent by the foremost School's Beauty, Leading to an Unwanted Romantic Comedy

Chapter 23: Endless thoughts, and invisible answers

Well now… How should I go ahead with this?

I was troubled. Completely at a loss.

I telderly all that blatantly that I would go and decline the confession clear-cut… but the real problem was what’s the best way to decline, really?

I was pondering. Getting exhausted while pondering.

It would be ideal for Katase to confess her feelings to me. That way, I could just go ahead and reject her outright. But waiting for her to make a move feels frustrating. I can already envision this turning into a drawn-out long affair.

If I want to be practical and efficient, asking her directly would be the best course of action. Something like, “Do you like me?” If she responds with a “Yes,” then I could just decline, apologize and be done with it. It would require a considerable amount of courage, in doing that though.

Moreover, if the premise is wrong to begin with… In other words, if Katase doesn’t like me, it would be spell out the worst-case scenario.

In case of the former, It’s like a continuous waiting hell. Something that’s bound to happen for sure.

In the latter case, it’s hell where I would be telderly as a misunderstanding pervert and then made into the target of all malice. But still, regarding this, it also depends a lot on Katase’s actual character, but the risk is just too great to ignore.

Considering all the factors, the former is still better. However, if I leave everything into Katase’s charge, the problem of time will inevitably remain as a concern. The longer it drags on, the worse it will get, plus, there is the fear that Hiiragi might butt in again sometime later…

“Sigh…”

I lean back on the sofa and gaze up at the ceiling. There’s no one else at home, and the living room is enveloped in silence.

How many times have I mulled over this?

Ever since that day where I declared my rejection regarding that confession to Hiiragi outright, I’ve been constantly thinking about it.

But still, there’s been no decision that I could take in sight, only increasing my frustration day by day.

I couldn’t put my heart into anything, and there were times I just wanted to stop thinking altogether, but even that didn’t bring me peace.

It feels like I’m immersed, yet in reality, I’m just circling the same course over and over again. Unable to reach the goal of an answer, in short: It was completely meaningless, time waste.

I want to end it quickly, but I can’t. I’ve always known I’m not particularly adept, but I never thought I’d be this inept. Honestly, I surprised myself.

“………….”

I haven’t spoken to Hiiragi at all since then. Well, this is what should be normal, everything before were something completely unprecedented and strange after all…

We were just exchanging words due to Hiiragi’s own hidden motives and pertaining to Katase’s situation per se. So, now that those two factors are gone, there’s no reason for us to be together anymore.

We’ve returned to our original relationship. Just classmates, mere strangers sharing the same space. Just limited to riding on the same train.

On the other hand, I’m still continuing my chat with Katase on LINE.

There might be a confession from her through messages, such expectations were making me continue the chat with her, but as of now, it’s just trivial talk and nothing else. If possible, I wish I could just ignore and be done with it.

Given we’re in different classes as well, we don’t talk at all in school as well. To begin with, I’ve never interacted with Katase without Hiiragi being involved.

There had been time where we also talked with each other being alone. But that too, if Hiiragi wouldn’t have been involved in that, there’s no chance for it to even take place.

Now that Hiiragi is no longer involved between us, Katase and I have no reason to even talk face-to-face with each other.

Occasionally we pass each other in the hallway, but there’s no reason to talk nor any reason to be talked to in anyway. It’s just Katase sending me some hesitant glances from time to time.

Mou, if only I could just take it half-heartedly and pretend it never happened…… No, if I did that, I’d never be able to convince Hiiragi regarding that. Wait. Nn? But isn’t it no longer necessary to convince Hiiragi regarding that?

“…… and so I get to the same conclusion yet again.”

I sigh deeply and get up from the sofa.

“Maybe I should go outside and get some fresh air.”

It probably won’t change my mood. Even though I go outside, I’ll probably still be struggling with my thoughts.

Still, I guess it’s still better than just sitting and doing nothing, perhaps.

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Well then.