A Twisted Introvert loner Like Me, Mentally Wrecked One-Sidedly due to Love, Throws Away the Love Letter Sent by the foremost School's Beauty, Leading to an Unwanted Romantic Comedy

Chapter 22: Peoples don’t change that easily.

“That… that’s just way too harsh?”

“Yeah. It was… truly brutal.”

I sighed heavily, my gaze fixed on the rain-soaked park, responding to Hiiragi’s sympathetic voice.

“Maybe if I were in their shoes, I wouldn’t have been able to endure it. It must have been incredibly tough.”

“It was indeed tough… but, that’s exactly why I’m content with the way things are now. To others, I might seem like a lonely guy, but that’s far from the truth. Living without being surrounded by malice around me is quite comfortable.”

“I see… but you know, don’t you feel a bit relieved after revealing it to me?”

“Relieved or not, I am not so sure about that… but I do think it was good that I talked about it to you.”

“Then—”

“Yeah, I will acknowledge that. Katase’s feelings.”

I stood up, looking down at Hiiragi, continuing my next words.

“And now that I acknowledge it properly, I will decline them nevertheless.”

“W-Wait a minute! That’s — that’s just completely strange.”

“Is it now? Just like you told, I am not anymore ignoring it though.”

“True, but… your decision is way too rushed or how to say it…”

“It wouldn’t be any better, just because it is a little late. Besides, matters like these are personal choices, and it’s wrong to do something just because others think you should. Don’t you agree?”

“That’s…”

“Hiiragi, you will respect my feelings too, right? Or were those words a lie, were they?”

“……….”

I hinted at our shared past, hoping to evoke sympathy. I knew it was a cunning move, but I also believed it was the most effective. So, I did it.

Hiiragi gawked up at me with a complex expression. What was she thinking now? Was she regretting what she said, or perhaps lamenting that she couldn’t be of any help to her dear friend?

Either way, with regards to this matter, she cannot do anything anymore.

Sorry for that, Hiiragi. I did have a desire to move forward, but as I thought… I can’t become as strong as you. I can’t shake off the past that clings to me no matter what.

“Well then, I’m be off with this.”

There’s no point in staying here any longer. I opened my umbrella and left the place.

“—–Sayo will! …Sayo will never do something that you had gone through in the past.”

But, Hiiragi went against my expectations.

I stop in my tracks and say it without looking back.

“I see. At least she doesn’t seem like a bad person. But I don’t know what she hides in that stomach of her’s. That is why, I can’t trust her. That’s something I can say to you as well, Hiiragi.”

[TL notes: In some cultures, it is said that people hide their true self in their stomach. No matter how much you lie or hide the truth, the stomach contains all the truth which is unspoken and hidden.]

“…Ultimately, I can’t fully understand the pain you’ve endured, just by listening to what you went through. But! Using that as a reason to reject Sayo is absolutely wrong! It’s way too selfish!”

“In the first place, the romance we talk about, all of it starts from selfishness itself. Falling in love is also because of one’s selfishness, starting to hate someone is also because of one’s selfishness… And when two of those selfish acts happen to align with each other amicably, they turn into a selfish relationship, being called a couple. Following that logic, I also made a selfish choice as well, and there’s nothing wrong with that.”

“Stop making such illogical excuses, I am really trying to have a serious conversation here.”

“—–Then let me say this too.”

I turned my shoulder and, seeing that Hiiragi was now standing beside the bench, I pushed her away with my next words.

“Don’t drag me into your atonement. That sort of thing is incredibly annoying.”

“……..”

As I watched Hiiragi’s expression wither, my heart ached. But still I kept staring at her.

“…It’s your own selfishness to atone for your deeds, but if you decide in doing so, do it differently on your own way.”

With just that said, I left Hiiragi behind and departed from the park.

This is fine. All is fine with this.

While saying that to myself as I walked home. Somehow, somewhere, I felt empty.