A 30 Year Old Virgin (One Who Haven’t Even Interacted with Women) Took an Exam to Become a Wizard.

Volume 3- Chapter 07: Target: Saitou Mutsumi

There was a reaction from the three ‘Saitou Mutsumi’ to whom I sent the goddess’s panties. Two of them called Mari. The contact information written in the homepage is that of the Morishita House though, and I made Mari the person in charge, so the calls came to her.

According to Mari, who was on top of me, it seems that both of them wore the panties. But they were a miss. The name on the status screen wasn’t grayed out, and the test wasn’t cleared.

This is where I would usually feel disappointed, but I didn’t have the time for that. The third Saitou Mutsumi visited, a black woman, and she was wearing a U.S. police uniform.

“Ah, cosplay?”

“It’s a cosplay, but I’m a real police officer.”

Sugumi, who opened the door expecting a delivery, was surprised. Her legs were trembling, but her attitude showed that she was curious. Saitou Mutsumi was my customer, and adult matters took priority. I promised to sleep with Sugumi later and pamper her, and she reluctantly stepped back.

“A Japanese police officer? You’re wearing a U.S. police uniform, right? Are you a fake cop?”

Did the term “kokujin” get flagged for compliance issues? Words like “hakujin” or “yūshokujinshu” aren’t considered discriminatory, yet the term that simply refers to people with dark skin has to be used cautiously—what a dark history that is. The woman who introduced herself as Saitō Mutsumi was one of those African-American women. (T/N: Kokujin – Black People(literally), Hakujin – White People, Yūshokujinshu – People of Color.)

Mutsumi showed me her ID. It had her photo, the name Saitou Mutsumi, her rank as a police officer, and the name of the prefectural police department she belonged to. I assumed ‘police officer’ meant a police officer. I had never seen one before, but it seemed real, so I assumed it was. It was like what I had seen in crime dramas. (T/N: The ‘police officer’ was first written in english, the second was in japanese.)

“I’m extremely shy, so I can’t function properly without wearing a police uniform. But wearing a police uniform for personal reasons is against the rules. So, I usually wear the uniforms of foreign police officers. This is from the NYPD, but I also have uniforms from the FBI, the UK, Afghanistan, and Russia.”

(Cough)

“I got sidetracked. I have some questions about the package that was sent to my home. Of course, it’s your decision whether you’ll answer it or not.” (T/N: She’s a police, she’s saying she’s not exercising her authority as one.)

(Cough, cough!)

“I misspoke. It’s the suspect’s freedom to answer, but any careless remarks will be used as evidence.”

(Cough, cough, cough!)

“I’m sorry. It was a personal matter. In other words, you’re not a suspect or anything…”

What is she trying to say? ‘Suspect’, ‘careless remarks’… am I involved in some kind of crime? Her formal Japanese is hard to understand, but I can’t grasp her intention. And there’s someone coughing in the background. (Cough) The short man is intervening with parentheses. I’ve never seen anyone use parentheses like this outside of math formulas.

Assuming that she is indeed Saitou Mutsumi, let’s summarize what we know so far.

She’s a Japanese police officer who is so shy that she can’t communicate with others unless she’s wearing a police uniform. Wearing a police uniform for personal reasons is against the rules, so she usually wears the uniforms of foreign police officers. She came to investigate the panties I sent, which may or may not be related to a crime.

Hmm. It’s very vague.

She’s about 180 cm tall, including her high heels. She has a slender, muscular build, and her small breasts give off an athletic vibe. Her long, curly hair is tied up.

A beautiful black woman in an NYPD uniform. It’s great. She looks cool. I’m not a uniform fetishist, but I feel like I’m fine getting arrested by her right now. My eyes are drawn to one point.

“N? Nn?”

It’s a summer outfit without a jacket, isn’t it? Her nipples are strangely showing through so clearly… is she not wearing a bra? This black girl is small but really sexy.

“What are you looking at? I don’t wear a bra as a matter of principle, but that doesn’t mean I’m trying to arouse men’s curiosity.”

“My apologies. I was just captivated by your beauty.”

Even if she’s wearing a bra, my eyes will still be drawn to her breasts. That sweaty chest. The clearly visible nipples are irresistible to men. I tried to objectify my own lust by replacing my subjective view with an objective one, but I still couldn’t help but look. I might as well retire from being a panty specialist.

“Don’t stare so much.”

“Ahem. Won’t you come in, Saitou Mutsumi-san? It seems like we have a complicated matter to discuss.”

The person who coughed was Mari, not the man in the background. She invited Mutsumi and the others to come in. This is bad. She only received the call, and she doesn’t know anything. I can sense that she wants to expose my actions.

This is bad. Danger is approaching. I need to explain to Mutsumi about the sending of the panties, but if I let her into the house, Mari will hear everything.

I don’t want to talk about the goddess’s test, but she’ll probably figure out a lot. Sending panties to women with the same name in Kōchi… Objectively speaking, it’s not normal.

“You are Ms. Morishita Mari of MS Secre, aren’t you? You look much younger than in the photo. I’d like to hear more about the package you sent, so please–-”

Mutsumi’s foot was on the entrance.

This is bad. This is bad. What should I do? Should I trip her and throw her outside? Or should I push her away with a sumo wrestling technique? She’s a police officer, and even though she’s a woman, she’s probably stronger than me, a literary type. Digging a trap in the entrance floor would be a crime, wouldn’t it? I seriously regretted not setting up a trap last night. Am I in an isekai cheat novel?

Before I could come up with a good idea, Mutsumi’s foot stepped into the house.

(Cough, cough!)

“I’d like to say that, but I don’t want to attract the attention of the neighbors. It would be better to change locations.”

Nice one, Cough Man! I don’t know the circumstances, but he stopped her from entering. I’ll give him some candy later. I quickly stepped in.

“There’s a family restaurant and a karaoke place nearby. Which one do you prefer?”

“And you are?”

“I’m representing MS Secre.”

I handed her my business card. It said, ‘MS Shikkure Representative, Morishita Akira’, and it was printed on A4 paper with a printer. It was the type that would smudge if it got wet, but I was glad I had it prepared.

☆☆☆

Since neither of us wanted to be seen by others, we decided to meet at a karaoke box. A woman dressed as a police officer would stand out, even if it wasn’t for official business. It was 7 p.m., and the place was bustling for a weekday.

The three of us, Mutsumi, Cough Man, and I, rented a mini-party room for six people. All three of us hadn’t eaten dinner yet, so we ordered alcohol-free drinks and yakisoba. We quietly ate the tasteless food.

After our stomachs were settled, I spoke to the two of them.

“As you can see from the flyer and website, our company is brand new. We will use the results of the monitoring of the products we sent as an indicator of whether or not to expand our business.”

I made sure to emphasize this before they asked.

The panties are just an indicator. If the results are bad, we won’t expand the business. And we don’t have any plans for the business. Haha. It’s a perfect excuse.

“The police are not in charge of business matters, so I have nothing to say about it.”

“Huh? You have nothing to say?”

Cough Man spoke, and I was surprised. I didn’t know he could do anything other than coughing. Well of course, he could.

“I’m Fukazawa, a senior police officer. I’m in charge of training the new recruit, Mutsumi.”

“Training?”

When I asked, I learned that Mutsumi had graduated from the police academy’s 10-month program and was currently in a three-month field training at a police station. After that, she would return to the police academy for three months, followed by five months of practical training at a police station, and finally, she would be assigned to a police station. The whole process would take two years and one month. It’s a bit shorter for college graduates, but the path to becoming a police officer is long. Our company’s new employee training only takes three days.

I thought she was a somewhat experienced 25-year-old, but she’s only 19. Western girls look more mature, and when I was told that, I realized she was full of youthful energy. This girl will wear the erotic Night Panties. Just imagining it made me hard twice.

“I’m sorry for the trouble, Morishita-san, but I’d like you to cooperate with the monitoring as an extension.”

The reason they visited my house, even though it was outside of work hours, was for this panties delivery incident. It seems they will use it as an opportunity for the new recruit’s training. It’s not a crime, but they want her to gain experience in solving problems.

I could refuse, but I have something shady going on in the background. Instead of prying, I’ll go along with it. I could see it in Fukazawa’s eyes.

“Officer Saitou, summarize your thoughts.”

“Yes.”

Even though it was after work hours already, he was accompanying the new recruit. What a serious training officer. I feel sorry for their free time being taken away.

Before sending the panties, I did some research. I didn’t want to get arrested, so it was self-defense.

– Is sending obscene items a crime?

In a case where used underwear was stuffed into a mailbox, the Waste Management and Public Cleansing Act was applied.

If you send it to a woman at your workplace or stalk her persistently to give her underwear, it becomes a stalking crime.

If you steal it, it’s theft. Whether it’s underwear or not, stealing is stealing. Of course.

The crime I’m most worried about is ‘indecent display of obscene material’.

The scope of this crime is quite broad. It includes all acts of displaying, distributing, or making available obscene documents, pictures, electromagnetic records, or other objects to the public. A clear example is uploading erotic images to a website. Thank you for your service.

Displaying also includes distribution. Distribution refers to the act of delivering or giving away obscene materials to an unspecified or large number of people. I sent the panties to three people, which may not be considered a ‘large number’, but it’s up to the police to decide. I didn’t say how many people I sent them to.

“I’m worried about bribery.”

“Bribery? You mean a bribe?”

“That’s right. It’s the act of giving money or goods to a public official in the expectation of some favor in return. Currently, there are six types of bribery offenses: simple bribery, bribery by acceptance of an entrusted task, bribery in advance, third-party bribery, aggravated bribery, and post-event bribery.”

I’ve heard about the crime of accepting bribes. Like a government employee giving preferential treatment to a specific contractor, or accepting bribes from sponsors at some kind of major sports event. There are six cases of this?

“I’m concerned that I may be guilty of simple bribery or bribery in advance. Simple bribery is…”

“Wait, let me look it up.”

I interrupted her explanation and searched for ‘bribery’ on my phone. It’s hard for me to understand things just by hearing them.

Hmm.

Simple bribery is when a public official receives, demands, or promises a bribe in connection with their duties. It’s just a regular bribe.

Bribery in advance, on the other hand, is when a person who is about to become a public official receives, demands, or promises a bribe in connection with their future duties. It doesn’t apply if the person doesn’t become a public official. Mutsumi is a police officer, but her affiliation is with the police academy. If she leaves the academy, she won’t be guilty of bribery in advance.

Hmm. The statutory penalty for both is ‘imprisonment for up to five years’.

This is just a part of her training. It’s probably not considered a bribe, just like the ‘obscene material’. But there must be a reason why they specifically chose bribery.

I asked her directly what I was thinking.

“Is it related to the department you’re currently in?”

“You’re right. I’m in the Cybercrime Countermeasures Division. It’s a well-known department that deals with phishing scams and cyberattacks. If it were any other department, this would be a simple case of monitoring online shopping. But cybercrime includes online shopping.”

What bad luck.

Saitou Mutsumi is a police officer in training, and by chance, she’s undergoing some kind of training in the Cybercrime Unit. Sending her expensive lingerie as a bribe could be interpreted as an attempt to ensure that in the future, when she pursues a career in cybercrime, she’ll promise to “turn a blind eye.” That’s one way it could be interpreted.

‘Imprisonment for up to five years’

“You understood it well. Were you preparing to evade the law?”

She stared at me, leaning over the table. Saitou Mutsumi, a black woman from Kōchi prefecture. I don’t know her family background, but I feel that beauty transcends race and borders.

“No, no, it’s just a coincidence. It’s just a coincidence.”

Even in a difficult situation, she doesn’t waver. My pants are tenting. I strongly felt that I wanted to make her wear the panties in the envelope on the table with my own hands.

T/N: Regarding the different types of bribery.

Simple Bribery (単純収賄罪) : A public official receives money or goods in exchange for performing or refraining from an official act.

Bribery by Acceptance of an Entrusted Task (受託収賄罪) : A public official accepts a bribe with the understanding that they will carry out a specific task or duty in favor of the briber.

Bribery in Advance (事前収賄罪) : A bribe is given to a public official before they assume a position or role, in anticipation of favorable treatment once they take office.

Third-Party Bribery (第3者収賄罪) : A bribe is given to a third party, such as a family member or associate of the public official, instead of directly to the official.

Aggravated Bribery (荷重収賄罪) : A more severe form of bribery involving significant sums of money, high-value goods, or repeated offenses, resulting in harsher penalties.

Post-Event Bribery (事後収賄罪) : A bribe is given after the public official has already performed the favor or official act, as a reward for their actions.