Chapter 25: “Live in the Now”

“Found a chump! There are kids doing all sorts of things near the school festival, but we’re not like that—so today, let’s go find Kii‑kun––”

“––Tsubaki, how long have you been around here?”

“Huh? Oh, I was planning to ambush Kii‑kun, so maybe about twenty or thirty minutes… I might have been circling around while chatting with my friends.”

“Didn’t you see that high school girl who left crying?”

When Daikichi Sakoda asked in a serious tone, Sazanka Tsubaki—realizing it wasn’t the right time for teasing—answered honestly.

“Ah… maybe there was. A girl with a big chest ran off. You all saw her, right? Judging by the color of her ribbon, she was a first-year in high school, wasn’t she?”

“I saw her, I saw her~. She was a first-year.”

“I wonder why she was crying. Maybe she got scolded by a teacher?”

“It didn’t look like she cried because she got scolded… more like tears for another reason… I mean, maybe something happened with Cousin‑senpai? And that’s why she’s letting us talk now?”

“So, did you make a girl cry…? Well, I mean, Cousin‑senpai is pretty cool, so things like that can happen.”

Though wild speculations swirled, Daikichi didn’t have the luxury to dwell on them.

Daikichi said “Thank you” and immediately headed to the place he had in mind.

Then, Tsubaki left her friends behind and chased after him.

“Kii‑kun… what happened?”

“Uh, well…”

Daikichi hesitated. He had never once explained about Hanakumori Sakurazaki to Tsubaki. Even when the topic came up in old stories, he had skillfully changed the subject and slipped away.

“Are you looking for that high school girl who ran off crying? I’ll help you, but at least tell me what’s going on.”

“……”

This was strictly a matter between Daikichi and Sakurazaki, and he had kept it hidden—he didn’t want Tsubaki, who wasn’t involved, to worry unnecessarily.

However, given the circumstances, even if Daikichi said nothing, Tsubaki—the type who would offer help regardless—would have stepped in anyway.

In other words, if he didn’t tell the truth, it would mean he was using Tsubaki for convenience—and that thought made him feel guilty.

Tsubaki was kind and cared even about someone like him. That’s exactly why, even now, Daikichi couldn’t continue hiding the truth.

“I lied to you, Tsubaki.”

“Eh…? What’s with the sudden confession?”

“The other day when my parents came up in conversation, you mentioned that there was a girl I cared about. I said I didn’t remember, but… that was a lie. I actually did remember. Moreover, that girl is in the same school as us.”

“Is that for real…?”

“It’s true. I’ll tell you everything. The crying high school girl you mentioned—Hanakumori Sakurazaki is––”

Daikichi revealed everything to Tsubaki without holding back.

He decided to do so partly because he couldn’t trust himself to smoothly cover up and resolve everything.

In any case, he recounted every detail of the past events he could remember.

The last words and smiles from the day his parents died, and his connection with Sakurazaki. Ever since he noticed her enrollment, he had been secretly supporting her school life behind the scenes.

Those actions were eventually discovered by Sakurazaki, causing her to mistakenly think, 『Maybe she likes me』, and in turn, she began showing interest and drawing closer…

But as things unfolded, even though he didn’t yet see her as a romantic interest, he felt that he should interact with her naturally—without hiding his true self.

And just then—the very reason he’d been watching over her was exposed to Sakurazaki, and she ended up crying and running away.

That was everything.

“Well, maybe it was all my fault. I feel that way.”

After hearing everything, Tsubaki’s face fell into a pained expression, and she lowered her head.

“Kii‑kun, you’re not at fault. I mean, if that’s how things turned out, there’s nothing you could do. It’s not your fault that that so-called Hanakumori‑senpai misunderstood and thought you might like her on your own.”

“No, if someone had been watching from the shadows without saying anything, it’s normal to get a little curious and think, ‘Maybe I like him.’ But if it turns out there’s a deep reason behind it, then it hurts—making you feel like you were just a clown.”

“Hey, Kii‑kun… isn’t it true that, deep down, you kind of like Hanakumori‑senpai a little?”

“I just realized that I went overboard supporting her—because I couldn’t forget my parents—and that was wrong. And besides, seeing that Sakurazaki is such a good person…I began to want to treat her as an individual.”

As soon as Daikichi Sakoda finished speaking his true feelings, Sazanka Tsubaki pressed her furrowed brow with her fingers and grumbled “mmhmm,” then let out a long, exasperated sigh.

“Alright. I understand. Not because you’re in love, but because you see her as a person. I believe you, so I’ll help you look for her.”

For a moment, Daikichi wondered what reaction Tsubaki would have had if he’d said he was chasing Sakurazaki ‘because he loved her.’ Would she have been utterly disappointed in her ‘brother’? The thought made him feel a little uneasy.

Somewhere deep down, Daikichi didn’t want Tsubaki to lose respect for him.

Of course, these “what if” scenarios were mere fantasies, and he knew that finding Sakurazaki was far more important than such thoughts.

“Hey, Kii‑kun, do you have any idea where Hanakumori‑senpai might have gone?”

“There are a few places, and the chances are high she’s at one of them… but there’s no guarantee. I’d like to split up and chase her. Tsubaki, I want you to check out places where girls are likely to hang out.”

“Okay, okay.”

When Daikichi clasped his hands in a pleading gesture, Tsubaki turned on her heel and headed toward the downtown area. Daikichi then decided to check the places he had in mind one by one.

He believed that if Sakurazaki had left the school, she would probably go to places that held memories of him.

Every time he counted the tiny frays and stains on those cherished memories with his parents, a wave of sadness washed over him.

He felt that a day would come when he’d have to let them go—and he understood that that was what becoming an adult meant.

What truly mattered was “now,” not the “past,” as Sakurazaki’s homeroom teacher had once said.

Even though he knew that, he couldn’t accept it until recently. That’s why, ever since he found Sakurazaki, he had been quietly supporting her from behind the scenes.

He never bothered to find out what Sakurazaki really wanted because he wasn’t trying to see the “now.”

“I…”

Daikichi stopped in his tracks, lowered his eyes, and a few tears slipped from the corners of his eyes. The tears fell onto the pavement, making tiny sounds as they soaked into the ground.

“I… always put myself first…”

Those words, spoken by Daikichi without pretense, were his genuine feelings. And he thought that the same might be true not only toward Sakurazaki but also toward others.

For example—he kept his distance from Tsubaki because he didn’t want his pace to be disrupted, and he treated Sachiko kindly to avoid upsetting Eleanor and making daily life harder—perhaps these were feelings he unconsciously harbored.

Feeling suffocated by a rising, nauseating urge to vomit, Daikichi turned away to escape from the distortions he knew existed within himself. There, in the window of a general store, he saw his reflection in the clear glass.

Staring back was the pathetic face of a man who clung to superficial reasons and excuses to avoid getting hurt.

(Do I even deserve to chase after Sakurazaki like this…?)

A thought began to creep into his mind that maybe he should just forget about Sakurazaki and stop looking for her. But then, a flood of vivid memories that were deeply intertwined with his heart rushed back to him.

Sakurazaki laughed when something fun happened, was appropriately interested in romance for her age, and was a sensitive girl who even ran away at times. It was by watching her that Daikichi’s very motives had fundamentally changed.

He no longer clung to his past memories for their own sake; he now wished for a bright future for Sakurazaki—in other words, he began to truly consider her well-being, not just his own.

The same went for Tsubaki and Sachiko.

Daikichi wasn’t thinking about what was easiest for him—he was considering how they felt, too.

In truth, the distorted parts within Daikichi were something that every human being possesses to some degree. If one could just remain a little calm, it would be something obvious and understandable to anyone.

That’s why it wasn’t surprising that Daikichi realized this so quickly.

(I’m thinking weird again. If I had truly only cared about myself, I would have already walked away from Sakurazaki and thrown everything away… and yet, the fact that I continued to watch over her means that there was something more than just self-interest.)

(And besides, it’s not up to me to decide whether I deserve it or not—it’s Sakurazaki who should decide. Deciding it for myself is way too presumptuous, arrogant, and insensitive.)

Now that Daikichi had learned to face his true self, he dismissed the idea that maybe he shouldn’t chase Sakurazaki after all. With new, healing memories forming with not only Sakurazaki but also Tsubaki, Sachiko, and Eleanor, Daikichi felt just a little bit stronger.

He no longer needed to run from his weakness…

The pathetic face reflected in the store window had, before he knew it, transformed into that of a resolute young man.

Daikichi knew what he had to do. Yet, before everything else, he tried once more to remember his parents’ faces—not out of longing, but to say “goodbye” and let go, recalling their soft, cheerful smiles.

But the once-vivid memories had worn away like a faded mist; even the outlines had disappeared, leaving nothing but shadows.

Still, for a moment, it felt as if those shadows were waving goodbye.

It was as if they were saying, “Forget about us; take care of the living ones around you.” The farewell with his parents had already come some time ago.

Goodbye… was complete.