You Were Stolen from Me, so I Will Live for Myself - Chapter 5

Rising From Despair

The hotel’s automatic doors silently close before my eyes.

I can hear the sound of something shattered inside me.

…this can’t be true.

No matter how much I think about it in my mind, the reality before me won’t change.

Yuki just entered the hotel with Kanzaki. My breathing becomes shallow. My heart is beating faster and faster. I can feel my hands getting cold.

I can’t believe this…I don’t want to believe any of this.

We’re dating each other. We are in love with each other.

At least, that’s what I thought. Yet, she lied to me and went to a hotel with another man—

It feels like my throat is being chocked. I can’t scream even though I want to.

Deep down, I’m still hoping that all of this is not real.

‘Sorry, I’ve been really busy lately.’

Even when Yuki said that, I was sure that Yuki still cares about me.

But it seems that it’s all just a misunderstanding on my part.

The moment I realize that, a dull pain spread through my chest.

“…I should go home.”

I mutter so and drag my feet as I leave the place.

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When I get home, I collapse onto my bed in silence.

Suddenly, my phone vibrates in my pocket. I take it out and glance at the screen.

‘Sorry, I’m having dinner with my seminar friends today. Let’s meet another time!’

It’s a message from Yuki.

She probably sent that message from that hotel room. Is Kanzaki beside her right now? Did she send this message while lying next to him?

I stare at the screen for a while, then I turn it off without a word.

I feel like something inside me has completely broken.

For the next few days, I can’t do anything.

Even when I attend my classes, my mind is empty. I can’t concentrate on the lecture. I lost my appetite, and time just passed by in a daze.

At night, I lie in bed, clutching my phone.

“Maybe, there was some kind of mistake…?”

That thought crosses my mind.

However, the scene I witnessed in front of the hotel is burned into my mind, refusing to fade.

I’ve been abandoned…

The moment I accept that fact, a sharp pain spread through my chest.

There are no tears at all. The only thing I feel is…emptiness.

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“Yuto, you haven’t been yourself lately.”

My friend from college told me so with a worried look on his face.

“…yeah.”

Giving a half-hearted response, I’m surprised at how indifferent my own voice sounds.

“Did something happen?”

“…not really.”

I don’t want to say anything. But deep down, I want to scream.

‘I’ve been betrayed! Don’t mess with me! Am I not enough for her!?’

I want to shout those words so badly.

However, if I really say it out loud, I will look very pathetic. That’s why, I hold myself back.

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At night, lying in bed, I stare at the ceiling and think.

“Is this really okay…?”

The time passes in a daze.

Before I knew it, I haven’t eaten properly for days. I can’t concentrate on the lectures and the days just flew by.

When I open my phone, I see that message from Yuki again.

‘Sorry, I’m having dinner with my seminar friends today. Let’s meet another time!’

I must’ve read it over and over again dozens of times.

Yuki might’ve been in the hotel with Kanzaki when she sent that message.

There is no point in thinking about it…

I know that.

But even though I know that, my heart still tightens every time I see that message.

Betrayed by Yuki, left in despair, is this really the end?

I feel frustrated.

I feel pathetic.

“…screw this.”

I clench my fists.

Am I just going to sink like this? Am I just going to continue suffering forever? I refuse to live that kind of life. I have to change, for my own sake. I can’t continue living like this.

“…I will change. No matter what.”

The moment I mutter those words, something inside me snaps.

—I won’t be bound by the past anymore. From this moment on, I’m taking my life back.

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The next morning, I stand in front of the mirror, staring at my reflection.

Exhausted face. Lifeless eyes. Long messy hair. Thin stubble.

“…I look terrible.”

I can’t help but let out a bitter laugh.

A pathetic guy like this…no wonder Yuki cheated on me.

The moment that thought crosses my mind, something hot wells up from deep inside my heart.

“…no.”

I’m no the kind of person who will end up like this. There is no way I’m going to sink into misery like this forever.

Yuki betrayed me. It hurts like hell. But that’s not the end for me.

I will become someone attractive. Someone who can stand tall with confidence.

“Just watch me…”

There’s no time to be sad. I should focus on improving myself, get stronger, rise higher.

When that time comes, it doesn’t matter whether Yuki looks back at me or not. I will walk my own path.

“I’ll make sure she regrets this…!”

With that determination in mind, my new life begins.

At that time—I still haven’t realized that this determination would truly change me.