You Were Stolen from Me, so I Will Live for Myself - Chapter 16

Childhood Friend

When I open my eyes, I’m already in the intensive care unit.

White ceiling, the constant beeping sound of machines, the sterile space around me.

Beep…beep…

…I’m alive.

In my hazy consciousness, I realize that I’m still alive. A dull pain spread through my body. Every breath I take sends a sharp discomfort deep within my chest.

Noticing that I’ve regained consciousness, the doctor speaks to me with a joyful look on his face.

“The surgery was a success. Your recovery is going well.”

Then, his next words lift a weight off my chest.

“Yuki-san is also safe. She is already recovering in the general ward.”

…I see.

I find those words more reassuring than my own condition.

—Yuki is alive. I’m really glad.

However, I can’t meet anyone in the intensive care unit. Only doctors and nurses are allowed to see me, exchanging minimal conversation. Time feels to pass really slowly.

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A few days later, I’m moved to a private room in the general ward.

My body still feels heavy. I still can’t move freely, but being freed from that confinement room surrounded by machines brings me a small sense of relief.

Suddenly, a knock echoes throughout the room.

“…come in.”

When I say so, the door slowly opens.

“…Yuto.”

This is the first time I’ve seen her in a few days, she looks somewhat tired. It looks like she has lost some weight, and there are faint dark circles under her eyes. Even so, Yuki seems relieved when she sees that I’m okay.

“It’s been a while…no, I guess not really.”

“…yeah.”

Yuki smiles gently.

“Are you…feeling okay?”

Yuki’s expression relaxes.

“Yeah. It was a bit tough after the surgery, but I’m fine now. I’ve already been discharged.”

Yuki sits down on the chair beside my bed and continues.

“Doctors who do surgery on rich people are really something else.”

Yuki said so jokingly, but I can hear her voice is trembling slightly.

Slowly, Yuki leans closer to the bed and gently takes my hand with her slightly trembling hands. Her fingers are a bit cold.

“I’m really glad that you’re alive, Yuto.”

Her words resonate deep within my heart. Slowly, quietly, they sink in.

“…I’m sorry…I made you worry.”

I barely managed to get the words out.

Yuki slowly shakes her head at my words.

“Not at all. I was just…scared.”

“Scared?”

“I was afraid…that I might lose you, Yuto.”

Yuki’s eyes trembles.

“…I’m really glad you’re alive, Yuto.”

Tears are flowing from the corners of her eyes.

I won’t run away anymore. It’s time to face this properly.

I’ll have a serious talk with Yuki here.

After waiting for Yuki to calm down, I ask her.

“…why would you go that far for me?”

“Because I want to.”

Yuki answers so without any hesitation, as if it’s the most obvious thing to do.

I gasp at her words. Those words quietly sink deep into my heart.

I’ve made up my mind. No more hiding, no more pretending. I’m going to tell Yuki everything I’ve felt and everything I still feel. I’m done pretending to be strong.

When was the last time I let myself be vulnerable? At the very least, not once in the past seven years. I feel really nervous, I’m not sure if I can say it properly, but I take a deep breath and open my mouth.

“I…can’t trust you anymore, Yuki.”

Somehow, I managed to get those words out.

“Yeah…I know.”

Yuki nods quietly. She has a pained expression on her face, it seems like she is trying to suppress it.

“Because…you’ve betrayed me, Yuki…I…I…”

I want to say it calmly, but I can’t. My throat tightens, the words just won’t come out.

It’s not that I’m thirsty. In fact, my mouth tastes strangely bitter.

There is this indescribable emotion entangled deep within my heart.

It’s not anger or hatred, but I have no idea what it is.

The emotions that I’ve been trying to suppress suddenly burst out.

“Why…why did you…betray me…?”

My vision blurs along with my hoarse voice. When I close my eyes, I can clearly feel tears flowing down my cheeks.

…am I crying?

That can’t be right.

Without thinking, I lift my hand and wipe my face.

Ah, my fingers are wet, I really am crying, and the tears just won’t stop.

Yuki remains silent as she gently holds my hand. Her fingers are cold, she is trembling even more than me.

And yet—she never let go of my hand.

As tears flow down my cheeks, I can feel the warmth of Yuki’s hand. She keeps holding my hand tightly without saying a single word.

Once I’ve finally calmed down, Yuki begins to talk.

“Hey, do you remember? A long time ago, at the park…we made a promise.”

I look into Yuki’s eyes.

“…there’s no point in bringing up that up. It’s all in the past.”

“That may be true.”

But still, she continues.

“Back then…we made a pinky promise, remember?”

“…that’s a long time ago.”

“Even so, from that moment on, you have always been someone really important to me, Yuto.”

Yuki says so, lowering her gaze.

She is smiling as if reminiscing about the past. However, that smile quickly fades away and she becomes expressionless. It’s as if she is suppressing her own emotions.

“However, I let myself get swept away by everything around me. I was weak. I have no excuse for what I’ve done. I’ve cheated on you. I’ve betrayed you, Yuto.”

The warmth is fading from her voice as well.

“I felt guilty of what I’ve done, so I couldn’t face you, Yuto. Then, that loneliness made me cheat again. I was so naïve. I didn’t think much about it. By the time I realized what I’ve done, it was already too late. There was no turning back, and there was nothing I could do to fix what I’ve done.”

Yuki continues to blame herself.

“I’ve hurt you, Yuto. I broke your trust. I’m the one who destroyed the twenty years of our bond. What I did was unforgivable. I am a cheater, a traitor.”

With those words, Yuki falls silent. The hospital room is completely silent.

She keeps her eyes lowered, expressionless.

“…yeah.”

There are so many things that I need to say, but that one word is the only thing I can get out of me.

Still looking down, Yuki continues.

“I don’t think I can be forgiven. I don’t think an apology will solve everything. That’s why…”

Then, her voice trembles as she speaks.

“At the very least, I want to save your life.”

Yuki betrayed me.

But the only reason I’m alive now is because of Yuki. Because she has saved me without any hesitation. Because she has risked her own life to keep me alive. That was why I’m here right now.

“…Yuki, you’re such an idiot.”

My voice sounds hoarse.

Hearing my words, Yuki lets out a self-depreciating laugh.

“I know.”

She said so in a light tone, but behind that smile, I can see the weight of emotions she has carried for so long.

“But Yuto, you’re alive. Now…I can talk to you again.”

She smiles as she says so.

That smile suddenly reminds me of the past. The innocent Yuki who has always been by my side since we were little. Her smile hasn’t changed at all.

“…!”

I’ve been afraid to trust Yuki again. I’m bound by the fact that she has betrayed me and scared of being hurt again.

—how ridiculous.

How can I not trust the person who is willing to sacrifice her own life to save me?

I can trust her. It’s okay to trust her. I have to trust her.

…no, that’s not it. That would just be forcing myself to trust her.

Then, what should I do? How can I put these feelings into words?

Scattered words begin to form in my mind. They are connecting one after another as if they have a will of their own. Then, from that, a resolve is born.

‘If it’s Yuki, even if she betrays me again, I won’t regret trusting her.’

At that moment—

I feel like my vision has opened up.

I feel like I’ve been walking through a fog all this time. I can’t see what’s ahead or behind. I don’t know what’s right or wrong. I have only been doubting, fearing, and avoiding pain all this time.

However, right now, that fog has finally cleared, I can see a clear path before me.

I let out a breath and realize how surprisingly light I feel. I feel like I’ve finally let go of something I’ve been holding onto so tightly for far too long.

Being able to trust someone I want to trust—just that alone can make the world look so different. It’s amazing how much lighter my heart feel.

I gently squeeze Yuki’s hand back, as if to confirm that her warmth is truly here with me.

“…thank you.”

That’s all I can say. My heart is so full that I can’t say anything more.

Yuki smiles gently as tears well up in her eyes.

The image of Yuki smiling gently with her lips trembling slightly, is burned into my memory.

Finally, I’m able to trust Yuki again.