You Came with the First Spring Breeze... - Episode 2: A Sad Lie

Episode 2: A Sad Lie

Unable to contain myself, I turned away from Tomoya.

The unbearable pain, trapped with nowhere to go, rolled down my cheeks, warm against my skin.

“There’s an oyster bar reservation for 7:30, so why don’t we go pick out a yukata before that? The fireworks festival is coming up soon, and you mentioned you wanted one. Let’s go see it together. I can’t wait to see you in a yukata…”

It was only three days ago that we talked about it. I’d been so excited about the upcoming neighborhood fireworks festival that I could barely sleep. What a fool I was.

Tears dropped onto the floor, one after another.

“I’m sorry. I can’t go out tonight.”

“Huh?”

The confused tone in Tomoya’s voice was so innocent, it made me cry even more.

“I’m sorry. It looks like we’re not going to work out after all.”

“What? Why not?”

The way he asked, as if shaken awake from a dream, left me at a loss for words.

Taking a deep breath to steady myself, I summoned up all my will to keep my voice from trembling.

“It’s… I just can’t forget about Mita.”

I forced a smile, gritting my teeth. Is there any lie more painful than this? Standing right in front of kindness like his, I wanted nothing more than to jump into it.

“You’re lying.”

As if he saw right through me, he said it flatly.

I wanted to scream that it was all a lie, but instead, I clenched my chest, locking that truth away.

“I’m sorry.”

But my tears wouldn’t stop. Biting down hard on my already bleeding finger, the taste of iron spread through my mouth.

“You’re lying…”

“You’re just not enough for me, Tomoya.”

“‘Not enough?’ We haven’t even done anything yet.”

“No, we haven’t.”

“I’ll try harder.”

“No, you can’t. Please just go. I don’t want to see you anymore.”

My voice cracked as I cried out to reject him.

Just imagining the expression on Tomoya’s face as he left sent a ripping pain through my chest. My head throbbed, and I felt like I was breaking into pieces.

“Fine.”

A calm voice. And then, the sound of the front door closing.

It was over.

In that moment, my legs gave out, and I collapsed where I stood.

I muffled my sobs with my hand, not wanting him to hear from beyond the door.

This was the right thing.

I wanted to stay the way Tomoya had fallen in love with me, not for him to see how tarnished and miserable I’d become.

After crying for what felt like an eternity, I went to the bathroom.

I washed my face and redid my makeup.

Though there was no hiding the redness in my eyes, I didn’t care what he thought of me anymore.

I picked out my least favorite outfit from the closet, put it on, and stepped outside.

The sweltering heat hit me like a wave, making me feel faint.

The sound of a train passing in the distance and the cicadas’ loud buzzing all reminded me that, for everyone else, it was just an ordinary day.

Thank you, Tomoya, for saying you loved me. Goodbye.

The closing door—that was the right choice.

After a ten-minute bus ride, I arrived in the neighborhood where Mita’s apartment was.

I knew the way well, having been here countless times with the spare key he gave me.

A bed of chain restaurants and convenience stores lined the road, making it a comfortable, if unremarkable, town for commuters.

A small, old Korean restaurant stood out among the shops.

Across a narrow street was Mita’s four-story apartment building.

As I approached the crosswalk and looked up at his building, a wave of nausea and dizziness overcame me.

I crouched down in the shade of a hedge, burying my face in my knees. My body was reacting with outright rejection.

All the memories I’d tried to forget came flooding back.

Why did I smile back then? Why couldn’t I say “no”? Why hadn’t I run away sooner?

The phone in my pocket kept vibrating. Probably Mita’s impatience urging me to come. Hurry up, his calls seemed to say.

Maybe I should just kill him.

Even those repressed wishes were starting to rise to the surface.

The oppressive heat from the asphalt and the searing sunset dulled my senses.

Maybe if I closed my eyes, I wouldn’t have to wake up again.

Just as the darkness closed in, a voice calling “Aki” pulled me back.

Concerned, gentle.

My tears were long gone. Crying takes strength, I thought absentmindedly.

The faint scent of cologne and a soft touch on my back told me it was Tomoya.

When I opened my eyes slightly, I saw his narrow, dark-brown loafers.

“Are you okay?”

He sounded a little panicked, holding my body in his arms.

“Let’s get you to the car.”

He placed my arm over his shoulder and supported my waist, helping me up.

“It might be heatstroke. Today was unusually hot.”

Looking over the hedge, I saw a small, white wagon with its hazard lights on, parked on the other side of the road. Tomoya’s car.

He sat me in the back seat and said, “Drink some water first.”

The cool air inside the car made me feel a little better.

“Why?”

I asked his back as he got into the driver’s seat.

I thought he’d already accepted our goodbye.

“I spoke to Yoshii. He thought you might be getting blackmailed by Mita. So I came early to wait and see if you’d show up. Just to check on you.”

He handed me a half-empty bottle of mineral water.

“It’s an indirect kiss, but is that okay?”

He smiled warmly.