Chapter 29: I Want to Awaken My Worship-Type Talent – Step 5: A Dash of Yandere Spice

What I learned from talking with her today is that she’s bad at starting conversations herself, and just like the rumors said, she tends to go along with other people’s opinions.

Even when I talk to her, she barely responds, and when I ask what she thinks, all she says is stuff like “I think it’s good” or “Yeah, totally.”

Well, to be blunt, that means the conversation doesn’t exactly take off, and for a normal person, talking with her might not be that fun.

Because what makes talking to someone fun is hearing their own take on things, or hearing about experiences you can only hear from them, you know?

Sometimes you do want agreement, but it’s only natural that agreement alone won’t keep a conversation lively.

But I’m different.

For me—someone who thinks she might actually have talent—talking with her is packed with clues for awakening it. No matter what she says back, I don’t want to miss a single word.

Even if her replies are super plain, I can use the information hidden underneath to find hints for moving our relationship forward—and to grab hold of the trigger that’ll make her talent bloom.

So I forced myself to keep the conversation going like crazy. Seriously, it’s not like I’m used to talking to girls either.

And in all that, there was one line she said that felt like it might be the key.

It was something she said besides “Yeah” and “I think it’s good,”

“Because my dad said this one was good.”

That line.

I’d been thinking there had to be some reason she doesn’t really share her own opinions—or can’t—enough for me to confidently conclude she has a worship-type talent.

I figured maybe she had some trauma from the past, like she’d had a bad experience after speaking her mind before. Like Sugisawa.

But apparently it’s not that something happened in the past—it’s more like her dad’s opinions are just really strong in her everyday life.

You see it all the time in manga and dramas, but talking with her made me think it might be that classic rich-family thing where the father is just way too powerful. Not exactly “male chauvinism” or anything, but more like… to her dad, she’s probably someone he can control.

For a girl who’s been obeying her father’s instructions since she was little, her dad is the one who decides her actions—her guiding figure.

So she gives what he tells her to give, and she’s probably lived a life where she did whatever he told her to do.

Even so, she has managed to live her life up until now, and that way of living was able to become the foundation for her yandere talent.

But from here on out, it’ll be hard to live her entire life using only her dad as her guiding figure—and if something happens and she can’t get that guidance from him anymore, she’ll turn into someone who can’t decide anything about herself. Just a person left drifting.

And even now, it looks like her father is shaving away the energy she needs to keep her sense of self. That’s probably what’s stealing the strength she’d need to carve out her own path.

Normally, it’d be better to encourage her so she can start voicing her own opinions. That’s the “normal” way to live, and it’s how most people get through life.

But that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s the best thing for her. I don’t want to deny the way she’s lived up until now—like I’m denying who she is right now.

Instead of changing her personality, I want to steer things in a direction that uses her strengths. If I do that, she should be able to shine.

If she awakens her worship-type talent, then as places and circumstances change from here on out, she’ll be able to find her own guiding figure by herself.

And then—even if she’s bad at deciding things—if she can find someone to use as her guiding figure, she can still live. And with the charm of a yandere, she’ll probably be able to get along with the people around her far better than she does now.

So, to get her worship-type talent to bloom, first I want her to decide on someone at school who can be her guiding figure.

For now… I guess I can be that person.

Right now, she has no guiding figure at school, and that’s why she can’t express her own opinions at all.

If she can choose one at school too, then by listening to that person’s advice and imitating them, she should be able to bring out her own individuality in her own way.

As a first step, I decided I’d act in a way that lets me become her guiding figure—doing and saying things that make me someone she can trust.

So I went to school today thinking I’d talk to her again—and she was already waiting at the entrance.

She stood there with an expression that looked excited… and kind of nervous too.

No, seriously. I’m happy, but wouldn’t this be heavy enough to scare most people off?

I mean, it’s basically like she’s waiting every morning for someone she’s only talked to, like, twice.

Well… that kind of heaviness is exactly what’s good about it, though.

She really is nothing but talent.

I’m definitely going to make it bloom.

Chapter 30: I Want to Awaken My Worship-Type Talent – Step 6: A Dash of Yandere Spice (Her POV)

While I was waiting for him to talk to me,

“Morning. We meet again today.”

That’s what he said to me.

So he really does talk to me. I’m glad I waited.

It’s not like I had something I needed to thank him for today, or something I wanted to give him, but… I waited for him because I wanted to, because I wanted to talk to him—something I thought of on my own.

It’s been such a long time since I did something because I wanted to. And doing something without Dad telling me to… yeah.

He really is different from everyone else. Sometimes I think maybe he has some kind of power that makes me do things. Or something. Haha.

Today again, I had a fun talk with him in the courtyard.　

He really does talk to me like he’s enjoying it.

No one else looks like they’re having fun talking to me, and there isn’t anyone who’ll talk to me a second time.

So I’d thought he would… but even just being greeted by him still made me happy.

Like I was savoring every moment, I talked with him a lot.

How classes have been difficult lately, how there’s a test coming up soon, about the artist I like…

Talking with him is so much fun, and I don’t feel nervous at all.

Because he listens with a smile no matter what I say.

Maybe I’m actually getting to the point where I can talk to people pretty well now. Or something.

I thought, This is a good day from the start.

But I ended up realizing—deeply—that I’d gotten carried away.

That day, we had group work.

We split into groups, summarized the assignment, and presented it. It was one of the things I was worst at.

Up until partway through, it was fine. They were moving forward like I wasn’t even there, but I was still participating by writing things down.

But then it happened—suddenly.

“Hey, Yashirosaka-san, say something too. Don’t you have your own opinion or anything?”

The moment my classmate said that, I thought I had to say something too. It’s okay—I can talk properly with him, so I can talk with my classmates too.

It’d be better if we did it like this, right? Yeah, I’m sure. Say it.

“Um, so…”

I can’t put it into words. Huh? Why can’t I say it? I was able to talk so much this morning. When I couldn’t say anything, my classmate let out an exasperated sigh and said, “Whatever. Fine.”

I heard a muttered voice: “So you really don’t have your own opinion, huh.”

And then, I remembered.

“You should just do what I tell you to do.”

That’s the life I’ve lived—always being told that by my dad.

Ah… right. I’m someone who can’t do anything, can’t decide anything, unless Dad tells me.

Who did I think I was, getting full of myself?

Without Dad, it’s way too arrogant of me to think I could speak my own opinions—or become someone who can do anything.

When I can’t do anything anyway.

After school that day, I sat absentmindedly in the courtyard.

That line my classmate said kept repeating in my head. Why does that line bother me so much? It’s a line I’ve heard so many times before. I shouldn’t need to get hurt over something like this. Because it’s true.

That’s when I realized it. He doesn’t pressure me like, Hurry up and answer, and he lets the conversation move at my pace. And no matter what I say, he doesn’t look at me like he’s blaming me—he smiles at me instead.

So I can relax and think about what to say, and then I can answer.

But my classmates don’t wait for me—and they rush me. That’s why I can’t speak well, and I end up being the me who can’t say anything.

Ah… it was all because of him. I thought I’d changed, even just a little.

But the fact I was able to talk, and the fact he looked like he was having fun—those were all because of him. Not because I changed.

Haah… what’s wrong with me?

Even though it was because of him, I went and thought I’d grown, and then I got carried away thinking I could do the same thing with my classmates—and then I got hurt like I’m somebody.

How pathetic.

Tears overflowed, and they wouldn’t stop.

Why am I like this?