Why the Cool Beauty, Who Repeatedly Keeps on Read and Ignores, Only Replies to Me - The Beautiful and Aloof Girl Wants to Know the Lonely Me

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Since long before I’ve always disregarded anything that doesn’t interest me.

I’ve always attracted attention from people around me to the point that it would become annoying. People around me would call me “beautiful”, “a beauty,” and whatnot, but I wasn’t interested in my own appearance, and even more than that, I wasn’t interested in others.

I didn’t become beautiful because I wanted to. I don’t want to be liked nor recognized by anyone. I just want to focus on what I am interested in.

And yet, everyday I am irritated from getting persistently followed around by those around me. If one doesn’t show interest in the other person, the other person will soon become uninterested. From the day I realized this, I cherished only what interested me and blocked out everything that didn’t.

I tried not to engage in conversation with others in my daily life and repeatedly left messages on-read on chat apps.

…I don’t want to talk to anyone anymore.

Only reading books has become my raison d’etre.

The only thing that interests me now and in the future is books.

Then one day, a few days after the entrance ceremony of the school.

Suddenly, I looked toward the window and saw a boy there who, like me, read only books and showed no interest in anything else.

The other boys were enjoying their youth in groups.

But he didn’t try to join them, choosing to be alone just like me.

At some point, my eyes started to follow him: always sitting by the window, with his eyes buried in a book, instead of talking to someone around him.

He only occasionally spoke with a classmate, Machifuji-san, and seemed to have no regard for other people.

I am sure he, like me, is sick and tired of being in contact with other people.

That is for sure.

I felt a certain kinship with him.

His name is Kotoku Okami.

Some classmates called him a “lone wolf”.

(TL/n: 一匹狼 (IppikiOkami), Okami = wolf, Ippiki = one animal)

It was around a month after entering the school that I gradually began to become aware of him.

Due to physical reasons, I was observing P.E. when I overheard a conversation among the girls in the same group.

“Hey Yuuka, which boy in our class would you want to go out with?”

A girl with cute twintails called Yuuka pondered, “Hmm”.

“Go out with? Maybe Suzuki from the tennis club?”

“Oh really? Suzuki’s face is all that’s good, but personality-wise, he’s definitely not good at s*x.”

The girls indulged in trivial romantic discussions.

Rather than engaging in such unproductive conversations, I wished they would join the physical education class starting now.

As I observed them with disdain, Yuuka suddenly muttered,

“But you know, ‘Okami’ might not be a bad choice.”

The moment that name was mentioned, my ears involuntarily perked up.

Okami—she was referring to him, the one by the window.

“Huh? Okami? He’s just an average-looking guy, always reading books, a total introvert.”

“Isn’t that a good thing? Our class is full of rowdy fools, after all.”

“Stop stop. Rumor has it he likes Machifuji, so he’s definitely a loli-con.”

“For real? Ugh, never mind then.”

Loli-con?

I glanced over at Machifuji-san, who was participating in the physical education class.

Despite her childish appearance and cheeky tone, she was a mascot-like figure with many friends in the class, both male and female.

But… does he like Machifuji-san?

I didn’t know why, but ever since I heard that, it bothered me.

Days passed with this lingering unease. One day, out of the blue, I received a message from Machifuji-san on my smartphone.

‘Machifuji: Want to practice the dance for P.E. after school?’

I wasn’t interested in her… yet, I agreed.

It was strange, even to myself.

I should have just ignored it…

“Maybe it’s because of Okami…”

After school, we finished the dance practice, and when it ended, I thought of asking about Okami-san.

“Phew. Thanks for going out with me today, Saeki-chan.”

“…………”

In the end, I couldn’t bring myself to ask…

In the first place, I didn’t know how to bring up such a topic.

It was the moment I realized my own powerlessness.

I had been under the illusion that reading books would enrich my life with knowledge and experience, making me capable of anything.

Yet…

“I can’t even bring myself to ask something like this…”

While feeling down inside, I kept a poker face.

✳✳

And then today—

During lunch break, I couldn’t stand seeing Machifuji-san and Okami-kun talking, so I left the classroom and headed to the library.

My heart was clouded to the point that I couldn’t hear the surrounding noise. At that moment, a message arrived on my smartphone.

When I looked at the notification screen, my eyes widened.

Okami: Sorry for the suddenness, Saeki. I’m your classmate, Okami. I heard that you’re repeatedly leaving messages on read, and if you don’t want to respond or whatever, maybe you should recreate your account or something.

Uncertain of how to respond, I hesitated. Finally, I sent:

Saeki: It’s fine. I was planning to delete it anyway, even without your suggestion.

Feeling regret for not responding more honestly, I thought I should have said a simple thank you afterward.

I quickly made a new account and sent a message explaining while also apologizing, but there was no reply.

Waiting for a response in the library, Machibari-san entered with a stack of notebooks.

“Found you after all.”

Machibari-san seemed to understand and placed the notebooks on the table.

“Saeki-san, can you give me your modern Japanese notebook? If you don’t, you might end up getting lectured alongside Okami.”

A stroke of luck—those two words came to my mind.

✳︎✳︎

After finishing the beautification activities after school and returning home, I decided to send him a message on Lime.

I sent a simple “Good work,” and he replied with the same.