Why Is the Prettiest Girl in School Trying to Talk to a Loner Like Me during Lunch Break? - Chapter 58 - Hat Trick

Chapter 58 – Hat Trick

“I can’t believe it! You two tricked me together!” Huff! Huff!

(Uuu… I was so scared, but it turns out it was all just Momo and Andou-kun’s acting!)

“Asakura-san, first let’s calm down and talk about this… And while I did lie, the masterminds behind this whole thing were Momoi-san and Class Rep, not me, okay?”

“Well, sure we tricked you, but— come on Sakura, you need to stop being mad already—”

“Hmph! I’m never talking to Momo or Andou-kun again! Besides, you two seem to get along better than with me anyway, so I’m just in the way!” Pout! Pout!

(What’s the deal! I bet Andou-kun likes girls with big breasts like Momo anyway! Andou-kun, you pervert! You lecher! You boob alien!)

“Hey… Andou-kun, you took so long coming back from the test of courage, what were you doing? Even though Momoi-san and I went to all that trouble to set things up for you, at this rate Romeo’s going to get dumped by Juliet.”

“Hold on, Class Rep? You’re talking like you did us some kind of favor with this test of courage, but the reason Asakura-san is like this is pretty much entirely because of your weird scheming, you know?”

(Honestly… Class Rep and Momoi-san are taking their pranks way too far. Sure, it’s mysteriously true that Asakura-san doesn’t have any male admirers around her, and they probably think since I’m a ‘loner’ who’s rare as a male ‘friend’ of Asakura-san’s, I won’t make a move on her, so they’re pulling these ‘pranks.’ But I’m still a healthy ‘high school boy.’ In fact, even today I almost let my emotions sweep me away and did something to Asakura-san—)

‘Be… gentle, okay?’

(Screw it, I’m going all in!)

(—!? What was I about to do back then!? Danger, danger… calm down, me. Sure, Asakura-san is beautiful, and when I let my guard down she’s surprisingly airheaded but that’s cute too, and there’s something fragile about her that makes you want to protect her, but it’s like she has the dazzling heart of a pearl formed in nature’s vast ocean, an angelic existence… But! In reality she’s just a light novel otaku, a hopeless, unfortunate, flat-as-a-board gremlin!

Besides, when she acts normal, Asakura-san is the school’s number one beauty, and originally she’s not someone a ‘loner’ like me should even be talking to. Right now I can talk to her naturally thanks to Asakura-san declaring me her ‘friend’ and thanks to Class Rep and Momoi-san… but this happy time will end eventually.

Yes, so calm down, calm down… stay composed for now—)

“Pun-pun, puuun! I’m angry, you know!” Pouting intensely!

“Aww, I’m really sorry! How about as an apology, this Sunday let’s go see that movie you said you wanted to watch, Sakura?”

“I-I won’t be won over by something like—”

“Of course, it’ll be Andou-kun’s treat ♪”

“Really!? I’ll go!”

“Waaaaaaait a minute! Momoi-san, what are you promising on your own!?”

“Ahaha— ♪ Andou-kun, it’s fine— During this period, if three or more high schoolers go to the movies together, it’s only 1000 yen per person~”

“Wait, it’s not about the money—I mean, that’s helpful but… Hold on! Somehow it’s naturally become me treating everyone, and isn’t it weird that I’m getting dragged into this as Momoi-san’s apology for the test of courage!”

“Ehh— but Andou-kun helped trick Sakura too. Right, Sakura?”

“Um, y-yeah that’s right. I… I won’t forgive what happened today unless Andou-kun comes with us!” Pout!

“Grr… F-fine, I get it.”

“See, that’s great, Sakura?”

“Yaaay! Wait—hah! I-it’s not like I’m happy about going to the movies with Andou-kun or anything! I’m just happy we can all go see the movie I wanted to watch, so don’t get the wrong idea!”

“Yes, yes—”

“……”

(A movie theater date with Andou-kun! Yes! Ufufu, what kind of outfit should I wear? I know! Since we’re at it, maybe I should buy new clothes after school tomorrow!)

(Sakura is so easy to read— ♪)

(The movies, huh. Looks like it’s confirmed I’m treating… Well, I do owe Asakura-san and Momoi-san for letting me enjoy various things today, so I guess it can’t be helped. For now, I’ll sell some light novels to raise funds before we go to the movies…)

“Oh my, it’s already past 10 PM. Everyone, let’s head home.”

“Yes, Class Rep!”

“……”

(Somehow Class Rep seems like a school teacher…)

“So if we’re heading home, I want to confirm the order—can everyone tell me where they live?”

“…Huh? Andou-kun, why are you checking where everyone lives?”

“Right. Can’t we just split up here?”

“Yeah— Besides, Class Rep and I are going home separately, so Andou-kun, you should walk Sakura home— ♪”

(What are Class Rep, Asakura-san, and even Momoi-san saying?)

“Huh? What are you talking about… All three of you are girls, so I can’t let you go home alone this late at night… You should all be more aware that you’re cuter than average, you know?”

“Hau!” Heart shot!

“Guh!” Heart shot!

“Ukkyu~!” Heart shot!

(Geez… Asakura-san and Momoi-san are the top one or two beauties at school, and even Class Rep may have braided hair and glasses, but her facial features are plenty refined. The fact that Class Rep is popular in class isn’t just because of her meddlesome personality—she needs to be way more aware that it’s also because of how the boys see her looks… Actually, now that I think about it, why am I in a place like this with such beautiful girls around me?)

(W-whoa… Andou-kun, that’s not fair, a surprise attack is wrong. This Momoi-chan’s heart just went ‘kyun!’ involuntarily. Geez, really, I can’t let my guard down at all… Ufufu ♪)

(2, 3, 5, 7, 11, 13, 17, 19, 23, 29, 31, 37, 41, 43, 47, 51, 53, 59, 61… Ah! I messed up… W-w-well then! W-w-what is Andou-kun saying all of a sudden? M-m-me, this Class Rep, c-c-cute!? Don’t mess with me! Thanks to you I messed up the prime numbers I was counting!)

(Aaah, Andou-kun called me cute… Cute, like I’m the cutest in the world, no, the universe, ‘You’re cute… honey ♪’! Kyaa! Ufufu~ W-what should I do!)

“Anyway, I’ll walk everyone home, so sorry but tell me where you live so we can move together to whoever’s house is closest, okay?”

“H-hmph… Andou-kun! It seems your Romeo role preparation is perfect thanks to the test of courage!”

“Huh? Why Romeo here?”

“That’s right— ♪ Because— Andou-kun was acting like Romeo, hugging Sakura and stuff—?”

“Hau! M-Momo, that’s…”

“No! T-that was…”

“What! Andou-kun, you did something that bold!?”

“Oh come on, Class Rep saw it too, right—? Remember, near the playground equipment area in the park when Class Rep appeared as the second ghost.”

“Huh? What are you talking about? I was at the starting point the whole time from the beginning?”

“””Wha—”””

(What ghost? If anything, I was the one who was scared waiting alone at the starting point for everyone to come back?)

“A-ahaha… C-Class Rep, you’re joking again… Right? You really just dressed up as a ghost, then rushed back to the starting point to greet us, right?”

“What are you talking about… We only prepared one ghost costume in the first place, right?”

“No no, because— Class Rep was secretly holding onto one and—…”

“Momoi-san? Then where is that secretly held costume? I don’t have any belongings though?”

“A-ahaha— …Huh, seriously?”

“Hey hey, then… who was that ghost…”

(Now that she mentions it… Thinking back carefully, that glasses-wearing ghost had slightly bigger breasts than Class Rep. At the time, I thought it was because of the distance, but what if—…!?)

“Huh, no way… That was a real… ghost—?” Wobble

“Asakura-san!? This is bad! Asakura-san collapsed from fear!”

“Sakura!? Get a hold of yourself!”

“Hey, everyone!? What are you talking about, ghosts!?”

(And so, the identity of that ghost… remained a mystery to the very end)

”          ” Intense staring…

【Bonus Story】”Nazekanno (University Edition)”

“Andou-kun, Andou-kun. You need to wake up soon or you’ll be late.”

“Mmm… Ah, Ashakura-shan? Huh? Why ish Ashakura-shan at my housh— Oh right. I’m living together with Asakura-san…”

“Geez, Andou-kun, are you still half-asleep? Why don’t you go wash your face?”

“Yeah, I’ll do that… I just had a dream about high school and got a bit confused.”

“A dream about high school? Ufufu, so that’s why you were out of it ♪”

“Yeah… I feel like in the dream we were talking about living together or not…”

“What are you saying? We’re already living together. Breakfast is ready on the table there.”

“Right. Yeah, thanks.”

(That’s right. I’m living with Asakura-san… I never would have imagined this would happen back in high school…)

“Come on! Hurry up and eat or we won’t make it to first period!”

“Okaaay… Itadakimasu.”

(Geez, Andou-kun is really weak in the mornings. Ufufu~ ♪)

(Delicious— Yeah… Honestly, at first ‘Damekura-san’ was terrible at cooking, but since we started living together her cooking skills have really improved. She might be better at cooking than me now?)

“Mmm, I’m waking up. Asakura-san’s food really is delicious!”

“H-hmph! Even if you try to smooth talk me like that, I won’t forget about you sleeping in this morning!

Want seconds?”

“Yes please!”

(By the way, even as a university student, Asakura-san is still as easy as ever)

—
Translation Notes:
1. “Damekura-san” (駄目倉さん) – Andou’s playful nickname combining “dame” (hopeless/useless) with “Asakura” to tease her about her former cooking skills
2. “Ashakura-shan” – Andou’s sleepy slurred speech of “Asakura-san