While Taking Care of My Shut-In Little Sister, I Somehow Ended Up Ejaculating Inside a Beautiful Girl - Chapter 70: To Ren-chan’s “More” Special Thing

Chapter 70: To Ren-chan’s “More” Special Thing

In the end.

My beloved, beloved husband—Ren-chan.

When I poured out this unbearable, maddening desire to get pregnant, he looked utterly troubled.

…I know I’m asking too much of him. That’s why a sharp pain stabbed my chest.

But I couldn’t help it. I have no way back—wait, is that true? I don’t know. Even though I’m fully aware Ren-chan loves me more than anyone, what am I so afraid of…? I don’t even know anymore.

They say love is blind.

But I never knew it could be this painful, this happy, this maddening.

I keep experiencing this “I never knew.”

Because he updates my “firsts” every second.

I think he’s really skilled at handling me.

…Saying it like that might make him sad.

I think he truly understands me.

…But there’s one thing.

He’s wise enough to learn from mistakes, never repeating them, and capable of handling even new situations effortlessly.

But there’s one thing he keeps failing at.

He keeps misjudging the “strength” and “depth” of my ever-growing feelings.

It’s so unlike him, the only thing—besides cooking—he’s truly bad at, and it’s kind of adorable.

But these feelings of mine, they’re something even I can’t control.

…Auntie said something cryptic about the “Onodera women” and our bloodline.

No, it doesn’t matter. I just love Ren-chan, right here, right now. I love him so much.

Too much.

What do I do… to feel this way?

What do I do…?

Really… what do I do?

By my original calculations, once we officially started dating—became lovers—these feelings would settle, and we’d be a normal, affectionate couple.

Then, slowly, steadily, we’d head toward marriage.

We’d have at least two kids, live long lives.

I know I’m not normal.

Normal people are more fickle, more sensible.

This selfless devotion, this intoxication with his heart and body, shouldn’t be this strong.

Wanting to be enveloped in his scent all day… or even immersed in his bodily fluids—that’s not something you’re supposed to think.

Yet.

Am I abnormal for craving him endlessly?

…Probably, yes.

Since childhood.

Since childhood, when I couldn’t understand people’s hearts.

It felt mechanical. Pure, in a nice way, but more accurately, it was like I was empty inside.

That’s probably why I’m still scared of his eyes—those clear, bottomless eyes. I can love everything about him—his body, his semen, hair, nails, sweat, breath, even his waste—but the one thing I fear, the one thing I can’t touch, is those eyes.

Those all-seeing eyes—I’m not afraid of being seen through.

I want him to see me more!♥—ahem.

Anyway, I thought I’d accepted all of him, but those eyes, I still don’t “understand.”

Wise people would get it.

Like Auntie said before, normally, even if someone’s eyes are clouded by darkness, tainted by desire, or burning with anger…

You’d understand it as “that’s how it is.” Hatred, desire, anger—they’re just human emotions. Even if you can’t relate, you can at least comprehend their existence.

But his clear eyes are different.

The deep sea looks dark blue because light doesn’t reach it, showing its depth through shades.

The sky scatters light, changing with elements passing through, giving answers or hints about what’s happening.

But his eyes are different.

So clear.

Endlessly visible.

Yet endless.

Bottomless.

Yes.

His eyes are a mirror.

A magical mirror that forces you to face yourself, whether you want to or not.

That’s the secret of his magic.

With that magic, he’s saved so many people.

I’m no exception. Without him, I’d probably be part of his “past.”

But.

I’m different.

I want to be different.

For him.

More than anything, more than anyone—

I want to be special.

…This is my selfishness, isn’t it?

But Ren-chan has always indulged my selfishness.

Never hating me.

Accepting me.

Caring for me.

That makes me so happy.

“How do I make you stop?”

He says, holding my body.

Lying on him, I look down at his face, our eyes meeting.

…I’m no longer afraid of his clear eyes.

Because I know what they’re trying to tell me.

And so, probably.

I can’t stop.

My feelings, my love, won’t stop.

I want to be his even more. I want him to make me his even more.

My overflowing feelings, unstoppable love, opened my mouth.

“I can’t stop myself anymore.”

***

Spring of Second Grade

I fell in love with Ren-chan.

…The trigger was him saving me from bullying.

I told him before that he “saved me mentally.”

But in truth, he saved my life itself. I might’ve died back then.

…Looking back, that sounds dramatic.

But as a young child with a narrow perspective.

My attitude toward classmates got me targeted, bullied by a group, and my heart broke.

Ignored daily, my belongings tampered with. My desk covered in cruel graffiti. My stationery mysteriously thrown in the trash.

My vibrant daily life faded. Time became dull.

…No, that’s bravado.

Looking back as an adult, I arrogantly reframed my past.

…In truth.

I hated how dark my life became.

Every day was lonely, scary, miserable, and I didn’t know who to turn to or how to ask for help.

I couldn’t talk to my parents or teachers.

Alone, trembling, hugging my shoulders, eyes closed, wishing tomorrow wouldn’t come, knowing it would.

Honestly, I considered suicide.

…Looking back, kids’ perspectives are so narrow, aren’t they?

If they didn’t like me, they could’ve just said so.

…And I.

Didn’t have to jump to suicide; I could’ve thought of other options.

My vision was like a telephoto lens, magnifying only myself, thinking I saw the world. I was a child.

…But that’s what kids are.

And sometimes, kids choose irreversible paths.

That day after school—

Clinging to the trash can, sobbing.

Thinking, if I could throw myself away like my discarded stationery, everything would be resolved.

Holding sadness and despair I couldn’t share.

That’s when I met him.

“I can actually use magic—”

“Pretty cool, right?”

“—I wanted to see that smile of yours.”

It happened so fast.

He turned my heart around.

Daily life, everything, depends on perspective.

He eliminated the source of my bullying, restored my peaceful days.

He saved me perfectly.

…Back then, I had nothing to give him in return.

But he said he didn’t need anything.

He said his sister had fallen in front of their house.

Someone helped her, saved her, so this was his repayment.

Just for that.

He saved my life.

It felt like an overpayment for a favor.

…Now that I understand him better, I can say.

He probably didn’t care about the reason.

He couldn’t leave me alone, so he helped.

That’s all.

His kind heart reached me directly back then.

His heart was terribly unguarded.

Fragile, yet endlessly kind.

His pure desperation to protect something, his bottomless kindness, stole my heart.

It was already near love at first sight, but the more I knew him, the more I fell.

People were surprised when I told them, but we’ve had our share of near-fights.

Each time, our love deepens.♥♥♥

…My desire for every strand of his hair might seem strange to others.

But that’s obvious. I don’t care what others say—I love Ren-chan. I love him, adore him.

A life walking with him, aging together, stacking memories, is the best. I’m more confident than anyone—anywhere in the universe—that I love him, and I won’t give my place to anyone.

To me, this is—no, this is a happy love.

I want to be with him forever.

I want him to love me more.

I want him to make me his more.

I tell him my feelings.

…He’s probably troubled.

The more he knows my unstoppable feelings.

I don’t want him to hate me, of course.

But I also want him to know me.

I want him to love me more.

So I tell him my feelings even more.