When I Was Rejected and Returned Home, My Childhood Friend, Who Should Have Been Distant, Was in My Room - Chapter 12: More Than Friends, More Than Lovers

Chapter 12: More Than Friends, More Than Lovers

“No, Masamune-kun, I said, ‘I can’t see you that way right now. So, can we stay friends for now?’” Hoshino corrected.

Her tone made it clear what she emphasized. Masaki understood exactly what he had missed.

“Right now… for now…?” he repeated.

He mulled over her words, but comprehension lagged. “Right now” and “for now” meant… maybe…? As if reading his thoughts, she nodded.

“I like you quite a bit, Masaki-kun. You’re the first friend I’ve connected with so well, and I enjoy being with you,” she said.

“I-I see…” he stammered.

Her sudden declaration made him blush. But Hoshino didn’t look away.

“But I don’t know yet if that’s romantic like,” she added.

He knew it was a common phrase for rejecting confessions, but her eyes were serious. She wasn’t brushing him off casually; she genuinely meant it.

“To figure that out, can we start over as friends?” she asked.

Hoshino pleaded with him again. Her eyes held no doubt. But he couldn’t understand why she was so determined to start over.

“But, even if you say start over, I confessed to you, Hoshino, and you rejected me…” he said.

Her words confused him, and he couldn’t give a clear answer. That day’s scene lingered in his heart. She said nothing to his vague words.

“I thought our relationship ended when you rejected me…” he continued.

“Hey,” she interrupted.

His hesitant words were cut off by Hoshino.

“Is confessing that important?” she asked.

“Huh?” he replied.

Her eyes clearly showed disgust.

“Is confessing and dating that big a deal? You share your feelings, I say I want to stay friends and reject you, and then we can’t even be friends anymore? That’s messed up, isn’t it?” she pressed.

“No, it’s…” he started.

He tried to calm her, but her momentum didn’t stop.

“Is confessing so great? I like you too, but if it’s as a friend, does that mean it’s ignored? We barely know each other, so is it weird to want to stay friends to figure out if it’s real love?” she demanded.

“Hey, Hoshino, calm down…” he urged.

She looked startled when he intervened. After a few deep breaths, she calmed down, but her face was darker than before.

“Sorry, I said something weird…” she apologized.

“No, I don’t think it’s weird…” he reassured.

“I’ve never fallen in love, so I don’t get romance. It doesn’t seem like such a grand thing to me,” she admitted.

“I see…” he responded.

“So when you confessed, I rejected you. I thought you wouldn’t enjoy being in a relationship with me,” she explained.

He lacked the boldness to say it was fine anyway. Her expression was clear yet somehow resigned.

“When I see topics like ‘Can guys and girls be just friends?’ I don’t even get the question. Isn’t it normal?” she mused.

He recalled talking with Shogo about how it was normal. But his “normal” was different from hers.

Thinking about it, confessing and running away after rejection was cruel to her.

“Sorry, Hoshino…” he apologized.

“Why apologize? I know I’m the odd one out. Thanks for listening to this. It’s the first time I’ve told anyone,” she said.

“The first time…?” he asked.

“Yeah, most girls love romance, right? Saying this would freak them out,” she laughed.

Hoshino spoke casually, but he understood clearly.

The disgust in her eyes earlier wasn’t aimed at him. It was self-loathing for not fitting into a world that glorifies romance.

“But then why reach out to me? I’m one of those romance-obsessed people you dislike,” he challenged.

“I don’t dislike it. I just don’t get it,” she clarified.

She dodged, but he thought it was similar. People like that must have hurt her, and he was one of them.

“Then why…?” he pressed.

That’s why he needed to know something.

“Why reach out to me? If I said I’m too romance-obsessed to be friends since we can’t date, what would you have done?” he asked.

His voice rose despite being in the infirmary. Luckily, no other patients were there. But she kept dodging this question, and he needed an answer to accept it.

“…because,” she mumbled.

“Huh?” he asked.

She said something under her breath, but he couldn’t hear clearly. Her bowed head and their height difference made her voice faint.

“Sorry, Hoshino, can you say that again?” he requested.

She inhaled slowly while looking down, then suddenly faced him. Her eyes glared with the strongest emotion he’d seen today.

“Because! I was lonely after we stopped talking, Masamune-kun!!!!” she shouted.

Her voice echoed through the infirmary. Its intensity left him momentarily unsure of what she said.

“Don’t make me say it…” she muttered.

She shrank back, mumbling like a deflated balloon.

“Lonely… you mean after I confessed, right…?” he confirmed.

She glared at him again, her eyes slightly teary.

“Yeah! Do you know how lonely I was after rejecting you? The person I thought was my best friend vanished one day. Do you get how much that hurt?” she demanded.

“W-Well, I kind of get it…” he stammered.

Her fierce outburst left him only able to apologize. But Hoshino, full throttle, didn’t stop.

“No, you don’t! Do you even know what you did after?” she pressed.

“N-No, I don’t…” he admitted.

“I thought about it at first. It hurt to part, but if that’s what you chose, fine. Maybe I’m the problem for not understanding love. I went home and cried into my pillow!” she confessed.

“You cried, Hoshino?” he asked.

“Yeah, I cried! Is that bad!?” she snapped.

“No, not at all…” he replied.

It wasn’t bad; he was glad—she almost said that, but she continued, half-desperate.

“And then you, Masaki-kun! I thought you’d be a bit upset, but at lunch, you were eating with Himuro-san!” she accused.

“Hey, I didn’t drag her there…” he protested.

“Anyone could see you dragged her!” she retorted.

He wanted to argue he didn’t call Manaki, but her intensity overwhelmed him.

“I’ll let eating together slide, but you two… you were doing that! I couldn’t believe it from someone rejected the day before!” she exclaimed.

Hoshino spat it out fiercely, and he strongly agreed on that point. He considered himself a victim too, but he couldn’t say that now.

She took a deep breath, as if it was her final say.

“You were having so much fun, Masaki-kun, but I wasn’t there! Thinking that hurt so much, my chest ached, I was frustrated… and before I knew it, I wrote that letter,” she admitted.

Her voice was barely audible at the end, but its softness showed her passion, making his nose sting.

“Hoshino…” he said.

She’d shared so much; he had to share his thoughts too.

“When you rejected my confession, Hoshino, I thought everything we had was gone. I thought confessing became a burden for you,” he explained.

Even a sturdy building could collapse from a small crack. Hoshino was kind, so she’d probably ignore that strain.

Holding back tears, she muttered softly.

“Sharing burdens together is a romance cliché, right? Why can’t friendship be the same? Can’t friends share burdens too?” she asked.

Her hoarse voice continued.

“There can be a friendship deeper than romance…” she said.

Her small but certain truth. For her, who didn’t understand love, this was everything. She’d talked a lot, but he was certain she’d never love him romantically.

He took a small breath and looked at Hoshino.

“Hey, Hoshino. I have a suggestion,” he said.

“Now what…?” she replied.

Looking at her, who’d bared everything, he spoke as brightly as he could.

“Want to start over as friends with me?” he offered.