When I Told the Most Beautiful Girl in the School That My Confession Had Failed, She Suddenly Started Coming at Me With Unbearably Heavy Feelings - Chapter 40.2: Desires and Weight

Chapter 40.2: Desires and Weight

Rinne Kisaragi closed in on me step by step. The room was spacious, but there was nowhere to escape.

Behind me was the bed. Rinne Kisaragi shoved me down onto it with her momentum.

And before I could even raise a voice in protest, she stole my lips.

I tried to turn my face away to escape the pressed softness, but Rinne Kisaragi would not allow it.

Her tongue slipped past my lips with a slick intrusion and began ravaging the inside of my mouth.

The suffocation made me try to pull away several times, but Rinne Kisaragi gave me no chance to breathe, stealing the oxygen from my mouth relentlessly.

Gradually, my vision blurred, and my thoughts grew hazy and distorted.

By the time Rinne Kisaragi finally released me, I was already in a state of oxygen deprivation.

“…It’s your fault. You tried to leave me, so this is what happens. I’ll make it so you can’t leave me, whether you like it or not.”

Rinne Kisaragi’s hands crawled over both my cheeks. There was no escaping now.

But I had not come unprepared either.

“…Is that okay?”

“…Huh?”

“Is that really okay? Ha, doing this, making me yours like that, and calling it satisfaction?”

“If you’re trying to buy time, it’s pointless. I have no intention of letting you go anymore.”

“Then why are you crying?”

Rinne Kisaragi’s expression froze.

A droplet slid from her cheek and soaked into my chest.

People cannot resist their emotions. Even if they hold them back, they manifest in another form.

I gathered strength in the hands that had loosened just a fraction and flipped the positions, pushing Rinne Kisaragi down this time. Then I placed both hands on her cheeks and traced around her eyes.

The dark, pronounced circles hidden beneath her makeup came into view.

“…Just as I thought.”

“No, I…”

“Listen, I’m a guy too, you know. I’m stronger physically. And you thought I wouldn’t notice the changes in you?”

I gently pulled Rinne Kisaragi into a hug. Her slender frame felt incredibly fragile.

“…Sorry for making you anxious.”

Rinne Kisaragi’s hands drew my body closer. Soon, a voice uncharacteristically weak reached my ears.

“…I’m sorry. For doing something like this…”

It was a trembling voice laced with anxiety and regret, one I had not heard in a long time. It dragged memories of Rinne Kisaragi from middle school into my mind.

I had thought I never wanted to see her like this again, yet here I was, making her cry once more. The regret of that fact burned, and I scolded myself harshly.

I gently stroked Rinne Kisaragi’s head. Just as my mother had once done for me.

I kept stroking until Rinne Kisaragi stopped crying.

Looking at her like this, high school students were still just kids after all. It was too early to decide that life was boring or that one had no redeeming qualities.

“…I’m sorry. I lost control.”

“Yeah. It’s fine. …Sorry I didn’t notice sooner.”

“You don’t need to apologize, Hinate-kun. …It was my fault for getting anxious on my own.”

“On your own…?”

“…On the day of the ball sports tournament, I overheard you talking with Nakiri-san.”

Rinne Kisaragi said it while averting her gaze.

Recalling my conversation with Nakiri, there had been plenty of suspicious parts. She must have heard that bit.

“Ah… That was, well, not what it sounded like.”

▼▽

“…Why is that?”

Nana asked me in return. I answered with my eyes downcast.

“…I hate myself. Thanks to everyone today, I managed to reclaim a bit of my old self, but I still don’t think I can like myself. Someone who can’t love themselves can’t love others. At the very least, going out like this would be disrespectful to Rinne Kisaragi, who truly cares about me.”

“…I see. You still hate yourself, Ren-kun.”

“…Plus, even with all that love she’s giving me, I still feel like I’m not on her level. I even overhear snide remarks from people I’ve barely spoken to, and I can’t even deny them. …A pathetic guy like me, with Rinne Kisaragi?”

“That’s not true.”

Nana’s eyes pierced right between my brows.

From Nana’s straightforward gaze, I could sense a firm denial. And it seemed mixed with a quiet anger too.

“You might think you’re not on her level, Ren-kun, but that’s not for you to decide. It’s for Rinne Kisaragi.”

In that moment, I felt ashamed of my blunder.

I had only been thinking about myself, not considering Rinne Kisaragi at all. I had just resolved a few hours ago to stop being so arrogant.

“Did Rinne Kisaragi say she disliked you? That she didn’t need you? …You might hate yourself, Ren-kun. But there are more people who like you than you think. Don’t dismiss their feelings just because of your own opinion.”

Those words from Nana, who had known me longer and better than I knew myself. Along with a sensation like waking from a dream, I felt shame for my foolishness.

“People who don’t know you well might say baseless things. But that’s okay. The things you’ve accomplished and the relationships you’ve built aren’t so easily shaken.”

“…Yeah, that’s right. I forgot.”

“Think about it again. What kind of person Rinne Kisaragi is to you, Ren-kun.”

▼▽

“…I’d lost sight of it. What I wanted to become, what I was doing. But everyone helped me find myself again. I’m grateful to all of you, and to Rinne Kisaragi too.”

“Hinate-kun…”

“…But I still can’t like myself yet. The things I’ve done, the time I’ve spent—they won’t just vanish.”

Rinne Kisaragi’s expression clouded over.

Even after all this emotional whiplash from me, she was still worrying about me. She was kind to the very end.

She thought of me as a gentleman and would not hesitate to fight for me when needed. I could not disregard the feelings of such a woman.

No matter when or what I was doing, Rinne Kisaragi was the one who came to mind.

Just as Rinne Kisaragi desired me, I desired her too.

“I can’t give you an answer right now. But when I can take pride in myself, I want you to accept my confession then.”

I gently placed my hand over Rinne Kisaragi’s and looked straight into her eyes.

My pulse raced higher. My heart wavered with anxiety. The air grew stifling. Overcoming it all, I poured my feelings out to Rinne Kisaragi.

“…No.”

“Huh?”

“No. Absolutely not. I want to date you right now. Actually, I want to marry you. I want your last name by my birthday this year.”

“Um, Kisaragi? That’s…”

“…But if that’s what you’ve decided, Hinate-kun, then I suppose I have no choice. Fine. …But I can’t just wait around either. I’ll make you so captivated that you can’t hold back and crave me right now. I’ll make you turn to me. How’s that?”

“…Yeah. Bring it on. Just so you know, I’m not easy to win over.”

“Bring it on. Because I love you, Hinate-kun.”

Rinne Kisaragi wore a confident smile. I responded with a grin, a mix of exasperation and admiration at how she was just as always.

“…Well then, let’s start by putting it in.”

“Wait, Kisaragi-san? What exactly do you plan to put my what into…?”

“…♡”

“That’s scary! Your eyes are scary! H-hey, hold on a second!”

This summer vacation had only just begun.